Friday, January 30, 2009

 

Goodbye Blagojevich, A Five-Dollar Car & I Suspect Max Weinberg

A startling statistic released by the F.B.I. earlier today: Eighty percent........EIGHTY PERCENT.......of ALL crimes in this country are committed by ruthless gangs........but enough about Citigroup and Bank of America.

We have bigger fish to fry, like our live remote broadcast tomorrow morning from Rosner Toyota in Fredericksburg. I'll be out there broadcasting live starting at 11 A.M. It's part of their $5.00 car sale. Can you actually buy a car for $5.00?? YES! Rosner has found themselves with a surplus of previously-owned vehicles. They need room, so they've slashed prices in an attempt to move 'em out. If you're looking for a great deal on a car or truck, come on out tomorrow. Even if you're not looking for a vehicle, stop by anyway just to say "Hi". We have the greatest time at these live broadcasts. I enjoy them so much more than being in the studio. Come on out and see why. Plus, you can spin our prize wheel (it's free to do) and maybe win a nice prize. See you there!

Former Illinois Governor is officially OUT. My guess is that Shelia Quinn is probably happy about it. I'm happy about it. In fact, my guess is that anybody in the media is happy about it because finally we no longer have to worry about having to pronounce that wacky name of his: 'BLAGOJEVICH!" In addition, he's been barred from holding office in Illinois ever again AND the locks have been changed on his office doors. Why? Because everybody knows that this guy is COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS MIND. If you doubt that, take a look at his ridiculous Beatle haircut. I'm willing to bet that come Monday morning, this guy jogs and then shows up to work like NOTHING HAPPENED!

DUMB CRIMINAL ALERT: Brett Kerr of Christchurch, New Zealand broke into a house and tripped and knocked himself out while trying to carry out a drum set down a narrow staircase. Somebody called the police and he was revived and arrested.
Lesson One For Burglars: If you don't want anyone to hear you, don't try carrying a drum set down a narrow staircase. I'll bet when he fell down the stairs with the drums, it must've sounded like a Hanna-Barbara cartoon.

Finally, many of you know that I moved down here from the New York-New Jersey
metro area. Before coming down here, Mike Bloomberg was elected Mayor of New york City. Initially, I was pretty happy about that. The guy's a Republican and he was endorsed by Rudy Guliani, and all of us loved Rudy, but somewhere along the line, a screw came loose and Bloomberg drifted off into Barbara Streisand Land. He already banned smoking almost everywhere in the city. He banned trans fat. He's force restaurants to post nutrition information......all restaurants. Now, he's decided that people are eating too much salt. He wants ALL U.S. food makers to cut the amount of salt they're using by half over the next ten years. Even the left-wing New York Daily News couldn't find much support for the Mayor among New Yorkers. One called New York the "nanny state". Another said people can read labels and decide for themselves what to eat, and a third said, "I like my salt."
They asked a fourth person, but he couldn't answer because he was too busy licking rock salt off the street.
If you think none of this affects you here in Fredericksburg, you need to know that Bloomberg has aspirations of becoming President of the United States.

See you at Rosner.



Thursday, January 29, 2009

 

When it absolutely, positively has to be there by next Wednesday.

Congratulations to Troy Billingsley of Spotsylvania who won a pair of tickets this morning to see Rascal Flatts and Jessica Simpson in Charlottesville tonight. Troy knew the answer to our movie quiz was "Scent of a Woman". Tomorrow morning, I have a family four-pack of tickets to the Fredericksburg Boat Show happening this weekend at the Fredericksburg Expo Center. For you, my dear blog reader, I have a hint as to tomorrow's answer. The clip tomorrow comes from a classic horror movie of the seventies. It is still very much talked about today.



This Saturday morning, I'm doing a live remote broadcast from Rosner Toyota in Fredericksburg. It's part of their $5.00 sale. It's a great opportunity for you to pick up a great deal on a previously owned car or truck. We always have a great time at these live remotes, so come on out and say "Hi", regardless of whether you're looking for a vehicle or not. The fun begins at 11:00 A.M.

If you were listening this morning, you heard Shelia reporting on the fact that the United States Postal Service wants to cut mail delivery down to 5 days weekly, as opposed to the current 6 days. Guess which day they want to cut out. It's not Saturday, as you would think. It's Tuesday. They "CLAIM" the reason for this is because Tuesday is the lightest mail delivery day of the week. I don't buy it, not even for a moment, and I'll tell you why tomorrow morning.

Finally, supervisors at suicide prevention, call-in centers across the country are reporting higher-than-normal call volume. Many of the calls are from people concerned with layoffs, lapsed medical insurance or foreclosure on their home. However, the majority of the calls are from people highly depressed about Oprah's weight gain.

I know, myself, I'm just sick about it.







Wednesday, January 28, 2009

 

Try Hooters, Happy Birthday, Barbi & "I don't know. It doesn't look like a goose to me".

We had some pretty slippery conditions out there this morning. As promised, we also had a lot of rain today, and if the weatherman is right and temperatures get down to the twenties tonight, it'll all freeze over, which means another wild commute tomorrow morning. Be sure to keep it on thunder 104.5. We'll keep you up to date with all the information you and your family need regarding weather, traffic and of course, the latest on cancellations, closings, delayed openings, etc. Also, you can always check this web site for the latest.

Melody Morales is a young lady of Dominican and Puerto Rican decent. She has applied for a job as a bikini-clad barmaid fifteen times at New York City's Hawaiian Tropic Zone Restaurant & Bar. Fifteen times, she's been turned down. Now, she is suing them for discrimination. She claims other Zone employees, who are friends of hers, told her that the managers don't want to hire her because her "Latin accent" would ruin their business and that she didn't "speak white". Yeah, right. When men have a hot woman in a string bikini serving them booze, if she's got an accent, they lose all interest.

Happy Birthday today to actor Elijah Wood. He's 28. Alan Alda of M.A.S.H. fame is 73 today, and remember Barbi Benton? She's was one of Hugh Hefner's babes years ago and a regular on HEE HAW. Barbi is 59 today. Here's a picture of her back in the day with Roy Clark and Willie Nelson.

...and here's what she looks like today.


OOOOOOO-KKKKKKKKKKK........moving right along........

I read they have found some organic material in one of the jet engines of that U.S. Airways jet that crashed in New York's Hudson River. They're going to do some testing on it. They think it's from a goose, but since it is the Hudson River, they can't be sure. It could be from a goose, or the remains of a mob hit.



Tuesday, January 27, 2009

 

Jessica Simpson, The "Not-So-Newlywed" Game & Michael Jackson's Hair

Rascal Flatts along with opening act, Jessica Simpson, will be at the John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville this Thursday night, and this morning, the winner of our movie quiz won a pair of tickets to the show. Well, I have another pair of tickets to give away tomorrow, and if you can be the first to get through with the correct answer to tomorrow's quiz, the tickets are yours, and since you've been nice enough to take time out to read my blog, I'm going to give you a clue to tomorrow's answer. It's a Martin Scorsase film, and no, it's not Goodfellas. We did that one already. Good luck!

We're looking for couples to join me live, onstage, Sunday, February 22 at the Spotsylvania Towne Center for our "Not-So-Newlywed" Game. It's based on the old Newlywed Game TV show. We call it the "Not-So-Newlywed" game because it's pretty much open to ALL couples. If you're married, engaged, just dating or single and living in sin, we don't care. You can sign up on our homepage. It's a chance for you to be with me live, onstage, compete with other couples, have fun and win some fabulous prizes for you and your spouse................mate.................partner.................significant other.........or wherever the politically correct term is these days.

To the news..............

Congratulations to this gentleman.
He is a 62 year-old Frenchman named Lluis Colet, and he recently got himself into the Guinness Book of Records. No, not for having the world's worst taste in clothing, but for making the world's longest speech. Colet talked, nonstop, for 124 hours. That breaks the old record previously set during a Joe Biden speech.

Anytime there's an awards show on TV, it's Kristen Nash who usually covers it for us in the mornings, for two reasons. One, they're on past my bedtime. Two, I just can't stand watching these Hollywood phonies and the equally mindless audiences these shows seem to attract, who slobber and fall all over themselves at whatever nonsense comes out of the mouths of these alleged actors and actress. (Note: I DO try to watch the country music awards because THEY'RE real). All of this brings us to Matt Damon, who was recently being interviewed by the Miami Herald about foreign affairs, during which time, he said of Bill Kristol, editor of the Weekly Standard, "He's an idiot".

Kristol's response was to challenge Damon to a public debate on defense and foreign policy at a time and place of Damon's choice. The website, bighollywood.com, jumped in and offered to pay $100,000.00 to Damon's favorite Charity IF he'll show up and debate. We'll see what happens. My guess is nothing. The really BIG question here though, is WHY would anybody interview Matt Damon about foreign policy!!??????? I guess Cameron Diaz wasn't available.

Finally, it's hard to believe that this much time has passed, but it was twenty-five years ago today, that while filming a Pepsi TV commercial, Michael Jackson accidentally SET HIS HAIR ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luckily, this happened back in 1984, before Jackson's face was made of wax.


















Friday, January 23, 2009

 

One Less Kennedy To Worry About, Living Dumbbells & "Check to see if he's breathing".

A couple of quick video notes: Our ice skating video I've been telling you about will probably be out in about a week or so. In the meantime, a new short video has been posted, "Denny Sleeping In His Car". We were out doing a shoot and we had a 45-minute or so wait before we could do anything. It was about 11:30 in the morning. By that time of the day, I'm usually "no more good". Well, while I was waiting in my car, I fell asleep. So, of course, Braden and Jay decided to videotape it. I don't know why, but it is pretty funny. There I am, sitting in the driver seat, slumped over. I look like the victim of a mob hit. To check it out, click on Denny On Demand.


Tomorrow night's the night. I'll be out at the Cage Fighting Inaugural Fights at Golden Skate World (formally SlapShotz). We'll be doing one of our live remote broadcasts from 5 to 7. Then, it's inside we go, where I'll be doing the announcing duties for the evening. As I'm writing this, some tickets are still available.


Coming up on Sunday, February 22, at the Spotsylvania Towne Center, we have something very special planned, and YOU can be a part of it. We'll be live onstage playing the "Not So Newlywed" Game. We're looking for couples, married or not, to join me onstage, play the game against other couples, have fun and win some fabulous prizes. Your chance to register to play will be on this web site come Monday. Also, I'll be talking about it on Monday morning's show.


Elsewhere, I don't know why, but President OH-bama did what he said he would and signed an order to close Gitmo and also outlaw "rough interrogation of terrorist suspects". OH-bama said from now on, if he wants to torture a terror suspect, he'll force him to watch continuous, non-stop, back-to-back episodes of Oprah.

There's a gym in London offering something new: Human Dumbbells. Richard Hilton, the owner of the Gymbox Gym says people always complained that weightlifting was boring, so he went out and hired five people of different sizes, including a dwarf and a 120-pound man. Their job is to sit on specially-adapted weight machines while you lift them. While you're lifting them, they shout out encouragement to you. They yell out things like, "Come on! Lift me harder and faster" or "You're doing great! Look at those muscles building!" Or, if you prefer, you can tell them to shut up and let you lift in silence.

Of course, you have to speak to them very slowly, because they ARE dumbbells.

Finally, Caroline Kennedy will NOT be appointed to Eva Peron's New York Senate seat. She dropped her bid rather abruptly when her poll numbers took a nosedive after she did a couple of interviews and came across as rather inarticulate. When she spoke, she kept saying "you know" after every couple of words. Insiders say she's very upset. She felt she really deserved that senate seat.....because she's...........you know......a Kennedy.

See you at the fights.



Wednesday, January 21, 2009

 

The Boldest Shoplifter EVER & What's The Holdup?

I'll be out at Golden Skate World (formally SlapShotz) this Saturday night for the Mixed Martial Arts in the Cage. I'll be doing a live remote broadcast prior to the event. Then it's inside I go to do the announcing duties. I look forward to these. I never know what I'm going to see. Last time, there was a "cage malfunction", and two fighters went flying out of the cage, on to the hard cement floor. One moment, they were there, next moment, gone. It happened so fast, it looked like a David Copperfield illusion. There should have been a woman in leotards standing there in that all-familiar magician's assistant pose.
On tomorrow morning's show, I'll have another pair of tickets to the event to give away. Also, I'll be joined on the phone line by one of the fighters. He calls himself Tod Tanium.

We taped a new video this week that you are going to love. It's me, Braden Smith and our child boss, Jay Roman on ice skates for the very first time in our lives. Of the three of us, Roman did about the best, which stands to reason. You know, kids always pick this kind of thing up quicker than adults. I did actually better than I thought I would, but still pretty bad. Wait 'til you see Braden on skates. What a whiz!! I'm telling you, you put a pair of skates on that boy and he's like greased lightning! Anyway, I think you find this whole video pretty funny. It'll be out on our website soon. I'm keep you posted.

Alright, Barack OH-bama has been President for over 24 hours. I thought he said he was going to fix the economy. I think I speak for everyone when I say, "WHAT'S THE HOLDUP??????????????

Happy Birthday today to Mac Davis, Davis was discovered by Elvis and wrote and recorded the song "Baby, Don't Get Hooked On Me". He is 67 today.

Finally, in the "Only In New York" department: One on the more bizarre cases of shoplifting. A 30-year-old has been arrested for stealing a $350.00 live shark from a pet store aquarium in Lynbrook, New York. Employees at Total Aquarium told police the man walked in, reached into the tank, stuck the live shark under his clothing and walked out. The man, a frequent customer of the store, was tracked down by police at his fast food service job in Brooklyn and charged with grand larceny. One thing you have to say about New Yorkers, they're tough. I mean, here's a guy walking around with a live shark in his pants.
"HEY, IS THAT A LIVE SHARK IN YOUR PANTS, OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO....." Never mind.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Monday, January 19, 2009

 

Mixed Martial Arts, OH-bama's Speech & Dolly Parton's Birthday

Greetings!

Mixed Martial Arts in the Cage returns to SlapShotz (Golden Skate World) this Saturday night. As usual, I'll be out there doing the announcing duties. I look forward to seeing you out there. Believe me, it's one exciting way to spend a Saturday night. It's pretty wild!

Speaking of skates, we're putting a new video together. I don't know much about it right now except for the fact that it involves me, Braden Smith and ice skates. That CAN'T be good.

Happy Birthday today to Dolly Parton! She's 63.
Actually, that's not her real age. That's just the total of all her parts. Don't send me nasty e-mails. I'm kidding. Believe me, I LOVE Dolly Parton.

So, what do you think Barack OH-bama will say in his inaugural speech tomorrow? Sunday night, he stepped out onstage and said, "Anything is possible in American." For those of you who are actually going out to the Inauguration tomorrow, remember those words when you're trying to find a porta-potty. But what will The Great One say tomorrow? Well, a Swedish online bookmaker, Bettson, is taking bets on what he will or will not say during his inaugural address. For Instance, the lowest odds are on the words "United States", paying only $1.01 for every dollar bet. "Change" is another favorite, paying $1.03 for every dollar bet. Of course, there are long shots as well. Bettson will pay $1,000.00 for every dollar bet if OH-bama uses the words "Angela Merkel" in his speech (Merkel is the Chancellor of Germany). Here's my own personal bet. If you want to get in on this, give me a call. I'll bet anybody any amount of money that at absolutely no time in his inaugural speech, will OH-bama say the words "KI YI DIGGY DIGGY".

One more word about the inauguration. Plastic surgeons in the DC area are reporting a spike in business over the past month. The belief is that people are trying to spruce themselves up for the OH-bama bash. There's been a lot of face lifts, face peels, wrinkle fillers and a huge amount of Botox........
.........and that's just Joe Biden alone.

Finally, Shelia Quinn reported this nutty story this morning.

Seventy-seven year old Louise Davidson of Boynton Beach, Florida was driving herself to an appointment with her hairdresser, when she ran over a guy on a scooter. The man was identified as Matthew Clark, and Davidson hit him with such force, that he catapulted into her windshield and over the roof of the car. He then fell injured onto the roadway. Davidson left the accident scene and CONTINUED ON TO HER APPOINTMENT WITH HER HAIRDRESSER!!!!!! When tracked down by police, she told them she wasn't aware of any accident. This is like a Mr Magoo cartoon. Davidson was arrested for hit & run and causing injuries. I guess she really didn't want to cancel that hairdresser's appointment. Apparently, she had already cancelled her appointment at the eye doctor's.



Friday, January 16, 2009

 

Catch Up, Hats Off To "Sully" & Enough Already With The Inauguration

First, my apologies. I've been remiss is getting entries in this week. This is difficult for some people to understand, but getting up at 3:30 every morning is awful. Now, I realize it's part of the job and I knew that when I took the job. I also realize that I'm not alone. A lot of YOU might also get up at 3:30 or thereabouts every morning. For you, no explanation is necessary. For those of you whose lives are a little more normal, let me explain that it's not just the getting up at 3:30 that's awful. That goes without saying, and just about everybody has done it occasionally. But when you do it day in and day out, it affects your entire life. You're constantly tired. I always tell people it's like having mononucleosis. By one or two o'clock in the afternoon, it's truly an effort to stay awake.


I usually take a nap (voluntarily or involuntarily) around 2 o'clock everyday. I get back up around 4 and it's then that I usually do these entries. Like everybody else, I have errands that must be taken care of almost everyday. I've somewhat got my schedule down to getting out of the station between 10:30 and 11:00, take care of whatever I have to take care of, and getting home before Rae has to carry me around like a scene from Weekend At Bernie's. It just so happened, this week, there was a lot going on and I wasn't getting home until around 3 in the afternoon. A few times, I tried, at that point , to sit down and do a blog entry and literally fell asleep at the computer.


My producer for More In The Morning, traffic guy and all-around cowboy, Paul Hayden and Dave Adler, morning man at our sister station have often talked about this "sleep, wake up and do something, sleep, wake up and do something" syndrome we're all involved in. We all agree that you have to be in it to "get it". What's the point of all this? Well, there are two. First, I could lie to you and say there was some "computer glitch" and that's why there were no entries made over the last few days, OR I can tell you truth. I prefer to tell you the truth. Secondly, it's to let you know that there will be some days when there's just not enough time to get an entry in and I hope you'll understand. I can promise you I will try my best.

With all that out of the way................here we go!


First of all, let me share a couple of pictures with you. These are pictures I promised to get on for you. Here's Felix Goldshtein, recipient of our Dumb Criminal Award this week and maybe for the year!
Felix decided to rob a bank in Stow, Ohio. He did a few things wrong. First, he walked into the bank with a toy gun. Secondly, he was wearing a ski mask. But the third one is the big one. HE STOOD IN LINE AND WAITED HIS TURN!!!!!!!!!! THE BIG DOPE STOOD IN LINE AND WAITED HIS TURN! He did manage to get out with some cash, but the police were waiting for him when he got outside. I guess his thinking was, "If I stand in line with everyone else, I won't draw any attention to myself". I think this guy needs to find another line of work. I don't think he's got this whole bank robber thing down. By the way, Ohio in January, I'm surprised all the of the customers weren't wearing ski masks.

The next picture I promised you was that of Marcelino de Jesus Martinez.
Do you see now what I meant when I said this creep looks like something you'd see in the seafood showcase at the Giant? This is the guy who tried to sell his 14-year old daughter for $16,000.00, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat. The only reason police found out about it is because when the guy Martinez made the deal with didn't pay up, MARTINEZ WENT TO THE POLICE TO COMPLAIN!!!!!!!!!! He was arrested on suspicion of human trafficking. If he's found guilty, there's an irony here. Here's a guy who tried to sell his 14-year old daughter for $16,000.00, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat. If he goes to prison, HE'LL be sold for a pack of cigarettes.

Hats off to U.S. Airways pilot Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, whose quick-thinking, bravery, professionalism and competence saved the lives of the 150 people on the U.S. Airways plane that was brought down by a flock of geese (Wasn't that a rock group in the 80's? Oh. that was a Flock of Seagulls. Never mind). They're calling it "The Miracle On The Hudson". U.S. Airways immediately imposed, on every one of the passengers, a $25.00 "Miracle" fee.

On the political scene this week, Hillary Clinton's Secretary of State hearings went smoothly as expected. There were a few tense moments. At one point, two Republicans asked her about her husbands fundraising and speaking events overseas and whether or not that might be a conflict of interest. She responded to the questions. Then stared intently into the eyes of the two Republicans........

...........until suddenly, their heads exploded!!!!!!!!!!

(Alright, I made that last part up)

Finally, if you listen to me in the morning with any regularity (and regularity is a good thing as you get older), you probably figured out that I didn't vote for Barack OH-bama for President. However, the majority of people in this country did, and I respect that. He seems like a nice enough guy. We just don't agree politically. I'm sure I would love to hang out with him at Hard Times at Happy Hour. I'm just not sure that he was the best choice for President. But honestly, and I really mean this, I hope I'm wrong. He's the President of the United States and I respect that and I support him all the way as every American should. However, I've had it with the inauguration. Enough already. The media in this country is way over the top with the coverage of it. They cramming it down our throats and insist that we recognize that this is the greatest event that has ever taken place in the history of the planet Earth, "A Historic Event". Of course it's a historic event. It's a presidential inauguration. We have one every four years, and if he's going to be a President who represents ALL Americans, then this really is no bigger or smaller than any of the previous inaugurations of the past.

Let's keep it in perspective.






Friday, January 9, 2009

 

Permanent Damage From The Playboy Channel, The Force Trainer & The Vail Photographer Is In Trouble

Thanks to all of you who called in this morning to express your opinion about "Kidney Boy" (see previous entry). Most of you agreed that this guy has no chance of winning this case. We'll see.


Happy Birthday today to Crystal Gayle. She's 58. Also celebrating a birthday is folk singer, protest-singer, anti-war person Joan Baez. She's 68 today. She also represents probably the BEST reason why we should get out of Iraq: so that folk protest songs won't have a chance to make a comeback.


It was on this date, January 9 in 1982, the Johnny Cash Parkway opened in Hendersonville, Tennessee.


Also, on this date in 1913, former President Richard Nixon was born. Bob Woodward wrote a book about Nixon called All The President's Men. I hear he's currently writing another book. This one's about Bill Clinton. It's called All The President's Women.


Yesterday (I think it was yesterday), we were talking about the skier who somehow managed to slip through a gap on a ski lift in Vail, Colorado. His pants got hooked and wound up coming down around his ankles. So, here's this poor guy hanging upside down from a ski lift halfway up a snow-covered mountain...........naked from his waist to his ankles. Marty Odom, the resort photographer, who actually works for a subcontractor (not the resort itself), Sharpshooters, Incorporated started doing what he does best, taking pictures of this fiasco. In itself, that might have been OK. The problem is Odom then took the pictures and put them up on the Internet. Well, here's the latest of this. Sharpshooters, Incorporated has suspended Odom. So, at least for now, he's out of work. I assume that's what they mean when they say they suspended him. Unless they suspended him like that skier..............upside down............in the cold...........without any pants on.


In the "Let's See If We Can Hit The Judicial Lottery" department:

How's this for a ridiculous lawsuit? A family in Rhode Island is suing their cable company, Verizon Communications, after they were able to see naked people on their TV via The Playboy Channel. Robert Bourne, his wife, Denise Roy and their minor daughters are suing Verizon claiming they pleaded with them on numerous occasions to stop transmitting The Playboy Channel. But when nothing was done about it, they decided to file suit. I guess they never heard of "changing the channel". Here's the best part. The lawsuit claims, "AS A RESULT OF WATCHING THE PLAYBOY CHANNEL, THE FAMILY WENT THROUGH EMOTIONAL DISTRESS, SO SEVERE, THAT NO REASONABLE PERSON COULD BE EXPECTED TO ENDURE IT. IN ADDITION, THE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS HAS RESULTED IN PHYSICAL AND MENTAL DISTRESS"
Wow, sounds more like they were watching The View instead of The Playboy Channel.




Finally, they're coming out with a new "toy". It's called the Force Trainer. It sells for about $100.00. It allows you to use only your brain to move a small object. It consists of a 10-inch tall, clear, vertical tower, with a small ball in it, like a ping pong ball. It also comes with a wireless headset which reads your brain activity very much like an EEG medical test. The circuitry then translates it to physical action. If you focus and concentrate enough, you can actually cause the ball to rise in the tower using nothing more than your brain.

Jessica Simpson bought one, but she returned it. She said she must have gotten a defective one because it didn't work.

Have a good weekend!




Thursday, January 8, 2009

 

A New Show On Thunder & "I want my kidney back!!!"

Happy Birthday today to singer Christy Lane. She's 68. Bob Eubanks, host the TV's The Newlywed Game, and a controversial figure by asking such questions as, "Where's the craziest place you ever made whoopee", is 70 today.

It's also Elvis Presley's birthday today. If Elvis was still alive today, he'd 74 years old............................and 400 pounds.



Hey, we have a new show coming on Thunder and if you love classic country, you're going to love it! It's the Country Music Greats Radio Show, hosted by Jim Ed Brown of the Grand Ole Opry and it kicks off this Sunday morning at 7.



Tomorrow morning, we'll talk about a very unusual lawsuit going on in New York (of course). Four years ago, Dr. Richard Batista gave his ailing wife one of his kidneys. She recovered and soon after that, SHE filed for a divorce. Now, he's suing her for his kidney back. He wants either his kidney back or $1.5 million. A legal expert says he has almost NO chance of winning this case. Personally, I think this guy should be grateful she didn't get his other kidney in the divorce settlement and call it a day. We'll talk about it tomorrow.

Finally, I apologize, but we ran of time this morning and I wasn't able to tell you about the woman in Ogden, Utah who got lodged inside a vent at her home (see previous entry). Basically, this 55 year-old woman was vacuuming a large cold air return vent in her house. According to Ogden Fire Deputy Chief Chad Tucker, the woman saw something in the vent and reached in to get it. Unfortunately, she fell in, head first, and got stuck there in that position for more than 24 hours! She was rescued by police and is recovering fine. Police went to the house when the woman's family members called them to say she hadn't answered the phone in more than a day.
I know it's awful, but I find myself laughing hysterically every time I read this story."Hi. I can't come to the phone right now. I'm stuck in the vent. Please leave a message and......."


There is something seriously wrong with me.


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

 

People's Choice Awards, Deep Cleaning & Nice Shirt

The People's Choice Awards are tonight. Kristen Nash will join me with a full report in the morning.


Alfred Shaheen has died at the age of 86.
Now, you might now recognize that name, but I'm sure you've seen a few of his creations over the years. Shaheen is the guy who designed and created those loud, gaudy Hawaiian shirts. You know, the Magnum P.I. shirts. Don't take these shirts too lightly. A vintage, original Shaheen Hawaiian shirt can sell for as much as $1,000.00. It should be an interesting funeral with everyone there wearing Shaheel Hawaiian shirts. It's going to look like a Jimmy Buffet concert.

Also, tomorrow morning, I'll tell you about the woman in Ogden, Utah who fell into and got lodged in a vent she was cleaning and wound up spending over 24 hours in it.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

 

Two New Videos, Leon Panetta & British Bulldogs Sweeping The Nation

Well, here we are, day 7 in the new year of 2009. Tell me the truth. Are you still writing 2008 on your checks? You doing better than me. I'm still writing 2004 on mine.


Join me and Kristen Nash tomorrow morning for a Walk Down Music Row. Nash will be talking about Jake Owen.


Jake just went out and bought himself an 8-week old British Bulldog named Verne, which he plans on taking out on tour with him. I hope he knows what he's getting into. As an owner of a British Bulldog (the famous Watson The Wonder Dog), I know that as puppies, they can be a handful. Not only that, but as Nash and I will talk about tomorrow morning, British Bulldogs are known for doing four things. One of them is sleeping, and the other three have to do with bodily functions.

We talked about this briefly this morning. It looks like President-Elect OH-bama will name Leon Panetta to head up the CIA. A lot of people aren't too happy about that because although Panetta has been in the White House and Congress, he has no experience with Intelligence (I'll let you make up your own joke on that one).

The way I look at it, at one point Panetta was the White House Chief of Staff during the Clinton administration. After covering up Bill's tracks, Leon probably knows all about keeping stuff secret.

Don't you think Leon Panetta sounds like something you'd have for lunch?

"Hey, whaddya during for lunch today?"

"I dunno. I thought I'd go over to Bridges and have some Leon Panetta."

OH-bama had some other people in mind for the job, but they're all under investigation.

Finally, we have two new videos out on our website featuring myself, Braden Smith and our child boss, Jay Roman. Part One is basically Braden and I working out to the new American Gladiator's Workout DVD (of course, I had a little trouble operating the DVD player). Part Two, which I haven't seen yet, is me and Braden competing in an obstacle course. Check them out when you get a chance, and yes, we here at Thunder have way too much time on our hands.



Monday, January 5, 2009

 

Merle Haggard, Bad Weather & You Owe Us Five Cents

Kristen Nash tells me she has good news tomorrow morning for Merle Haggard fans. Apparently, he's doing quite well after undergoing lung surgery a few months ago. Good for him! He's always been one of my favorites.


If the weatherman is right (and that's a big IF), tomorrow morning's commute could be a little rough. Be sure to join myself, along with Shelia Quinn's award-winning news and Paul Hayden's traffic reports, and of course, the latest in cancellations and delayed openings.


Here's an update of the guy we were talking about this morning, James Howarth, a Detroit attorney. He received a letter from the IRS saying he owed them five cents and if he didn't pay it, he would be subject to penalties and/or interest. THEN, he received another letter from them saying that THEY owed HIM four cents, and to get it, he would have to request the refund in writing (remember, the stamp would cost him 42 cents). It's funny how when you owe them a nickel, payment is mandatory, but when they owe you four cents, you have to ask for it. Here's the update, Howarth told reporters this afternoon that he called the IRS 800 number to try to get this whole thing straightened out, but he was on hold for so long, he gave up. Here's what I would do if I was this guy. Since he's an attorney, he should bill the IRS $400.00 an hour for his time.


Elsewhere, over the weekend, Daniel Huber of the University of Tampa reports that sharks do not have the powerful bite everyone thinks they do. According to Huber, lions and tigers have a much more powerful bite than a shark. It's just that a shark has much more sharper teeth. Are we supposed to be happy about this? Does any of this make ANY difference to anyone whose actually being attacked by one of these animals?


Finally, Happy Birthday today to TV personality Charlie Rose. I owe Charlie an apology. I mentioned this morning that I didn't think his show was still on TV. but I've been told that, amazingly, it IS still on. It's a great show to watch...........if you're having trouble sleeping. Without a doubt, THEE most boring show on television. The Weather Channel's more exciting. In fact, even Charlie himself looks like he has trouble staying awake for his own show. He kind of looks the way I do at the Tuesday morning promotions meeting here at Thunder. Here's a picture of Charlie taken after an apparent sleep-walking accident.
Talk to you tomorrow.





Friday, January 2, 2009

 

Piggy Banks & Paris Hilton

Happy New Year again!

I hope you had a great New Year's Eve. As expected, I didn't make it to Midnight. I fell asleep a little before 12 o'clock, on the couch, with a glass of wine in my hand. What a party animal, huh? Rae woke me up AFTER midnight, so I missed the whole ball dropping thing. I can deal that. In fact, I've reached a point in my life in which seeing the ball come down is just another reminder that another year has gone by.



Speaking of which, today is my one-year anniversary at Thunder. It really has been a fun year and I'm looking forward to being with you in 2009.



Other than that, just a few quick things today:



A new poll out shows that Barack OH-bama is the most admired man in the country. Not because of his politics, but because he's the only person in the country who is guaranteed to have a job over the next four years.



The lousy economy has caused a comeback of sorts. Piggy Banks.

It's true. A New York Company that sells chrome piggy banks for $31.00 says they sold this year faster than they could stock them. Apparently the stalled economy seems to have finally convinced Americans to save money. In my case, the problem is my entire savings for the year 2008 was $31.00. What am I going to do? Spend my entire savings for the year on a chrome piggy bank and then have nothing to put in it? On the other hand, it probably is better than a regular bank. It's safer. You can actually get your cash back out of it, AND you get the pleasure of smashing it with a hammer.

Finally, we can't get away from Paris Hilton. This time, she has the Australians annoyed with her. They're criticizing her for her "excessiveness" (I don't think that's actually a word.) It seems she went on a shopping spree in Sidney for a dress to wear on New Year's Eve. She found one and bought it. It cost $3,800.00. When asked about the criticism, she said she thinks it's important to "help out the economy everywhere in the world, and what's wrong with doing a little shopping?" Knowing this mental midget as we do, she probably spent $3,800.00 on a dress that has only 50 cents worth of cloth in it. Besides, if she REALLY wants to stimulate the economy, she should make another video, the kind that made her famous in the first place, if you know what I mean.

Have a great weekend.


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