Friday, January 30, 2009
Goodbye Blagojevich, A Five-Dollar Car & I Suspect Max Weinberg
A startling statistic released by the F.B.I. earlier today: Eighty percent........EIGHTY PERCENT.......of ALL crimes in this country are committed by ruthless gangs........but enough about Citigroup and Bank of America.
We have bigger fish to fry, like our live remote broadcast tomorrow morning from Rosner Toyota in Fredericksburg. I'll be out there broadcasting live starting at 11 A.M. It's part of their $5.00 car sale. Can you actually buy a car for $5.00?? YES! Rosner has found themselves with a surplus of previously-owned vehicles. They need room, so they've slashed prices in an attempt to move 'em out. If you're looking for a great deal on a car or truck, come on out tomorrow. Even if you're not looking for a vehicle, stop by anyway just to say "Hi". We have the greatest time at these live broadcasts. I enjoy them so much more than being in the studio. Come on out and see why. Plus, you can spin our prize wheel (it's free to do) and maybe win a nice prize. See you there!
Former Illinois Governor is officially OUT. My guess is that Shelia Quinn is probably happy about it. I'm happy about it. In fact, my guess is that anybody in the media is happy about it because finally we no longer have to worry about having to pronounce that wacky name of his: 'BLAGOJEVICH!" In addition, he's been barred from holding office in Illinois ever again AND the locks have been changed on his office doors. Why? Because everybody knows that this guy is COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS MIND. If you doubt that, take a look at his ridiculous Beatle haircut. I'm willing to bet that come Monday morning, this guy jogs and then shows up to work like NOTHING HAPPENED!
DUMB CRIMINAL ALERT: Brett Kerr of Christchurch, New Zealand broke into a house and tripped and knocked himself out while trying to carry out a drum set down a narrow staircase. Somebody called the police and he was revived and arrested.
Lesson One For Burglars: If you don't want anyone to hear you, don't try carrying a drum set down a narrow staircase. I'll bet when he fell down the stairs with the drums, it must've sounded like a Hanna-Barbara cartoon.
Finally, many of you know that I moved down here from the New York-New Jersey
metro area. Before coming down here, Mike Bloomberg was elected Mayor of New york City. Initially, I was pretty happy about that. The guy's a Republican and he was endorsed by Rudy Guliani, and all of us loved Rudy, but somewhere along the line, a screw came loose and Bloomberg drifted off into Barbara Streisand Land. He already banned smoking almost everywhere in the city. He banned trans fat. He's force restaurants to post nutrition information......all restaurants. Now, he's decided that people are eating too much salt. He wants ALL U.S. food makers to cut the amount of salt they're using by half over the next ten years. Even the left-wing New York Daily News couldn't find much support for the Mayor among New Yorkers. One called New York the "nanny state". Another said people can read labels and decide for themselves what to eat, and a third said, "I like my salt."
They asked a fourth person, but he couldn't answer because he was too busy licking rock salt off the street.
If you think none of this affects you here in Fredericksburg, you need to know that Bloomberg has aspirations of becoming President of the United States.
See you at Rosner.
We have bigger fish to fry, like our live remote broadcast tomorrow morning from Rosner Toyota in Fredericksburg. I'll be out there broadcasting live starting at 11 A.M. It's part of their $5.00 car sale. Can you actually buy a car for $5.00?? YES! Rosner has found themselves with a surplus of previously-owned vehicles. They need room, so they've slashed prices in an attempt to move 'em out. If you're looking for a great deal on a car or truck, come on out tomorrow. Even if you're not looking for a vehicle, stop by anyway just to say "Hi". We have the greatest time at these live broadcasts. I enjoy them so much more than being in the studio. Come on out and see why. Plus, you can spin our prize wheel (it's free to do) and maybe win a nice prize. See you there!
Former Illinois Governor is officially OUT. My guess is that Shelia Quinn is probably happy about it. I'm happy about it. In fact, my guess is that anybody in the media is happy about it because finally we no longer have to worry about having to pronounce that wacky name of his: 'BLAGOJEVICH!" In addition, he's been barred from holding office in Illinois ever again AND the locks have been changed on his office doors. Why? Because everybody knows that this guy is COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS MIND. If you doubt that, take a look at his ridiculous Beatle haircut. I'm willing to bet that come Monday morning, this guy jogs and then shows up to work like NOTHING HAPPENED!
DUMB CRIMINAL ALERT: Brett Kerr of Christchurch, New Zealand broke into a house and tripped and knocked himself out while trying to carry out a drum set down a narrow staircase. Somebody called the police and he was revived and arrested.
Lesson One For Burglars: If you don't want anyone to hear you, don't try carrying a drum set down a narrow staircase. I'll bet when he fell down the stairs with the drums, it must've sounded like a Hanna-Barbara cartoon.
Finally, many of you know that I moved down here from the New York-New Jersey
metro area. Before coming down here, Mike Bloomberg was elected Mayor of New york City. Initially, I was pretty happy about that. The guy's a Republican and he was endorsed by Rudy Guliani, and all of us loved Rudy, but somewhere along the line, a screw came loose and Bloomberg drifted off into Barbara Streisand Land. He already banned smoking almost everywhere in the city. He banned trans fat. He's force restaurants to post nutrition information......all restaurants. Now, he's decided that people are eating too much salt. He wants ALL U.S. food makers to cut the amount of salt they're using by half over the next ten years. Even the left-wing New York Daily News couldn't find much support for the Mayor among New Yorkers. One called New York the "nanny state". Another said people can read labels and decide for themselves what to eat, and a third said, "I like my salt."
They asked a fourth person, but he couldn't answer because he was too busy licking rock salt off the street.
If you think none of this affects you here in Fredericksburg, you need to know that Bloomberg has aspirations of becoming President of the United States.
See you at Rosner.
posted by Denny # 7:46 PM 
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