More in the Morning: July 2009

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Walk For Animals, Pelosi & The Mystery Of Macaroni Salad

The Fredericksburg Regional SPCA has announced that the 11th Annual Walk For The Animals is set to take place on Saturday, September 12 at Maury Field, at Kenmore & William Street, Downtown. All proceeds will benefit the completely independent facility that must raise 100% of their annual operating budget, and is the only No-Kill shelter serving the Fredericksburg community. Pledge forms are available at the SPCA front desk (10819 Courthouse Road) and at most veterinarian offices. Walkers are eligible for prizes. The top prize for the highest amount earned: $1,000.00!

Happy Birthday to the lovely Martina McBride!

She is 43 today.

Tony Sirico, probably best known for his role as Paulie Walnuts in the HBO series, The Sopranos is 67 today.

I guess it was back in the 70's, when a couple of kids became pretty well-known doing TV commercials. One was a really cute little kid named Rodney Allen Rippy. The other one was a rather hideous-looking kid named Mason Reese. For those of you who might not remember, here's a picture of Rodney Allen Rippy back then.
...and here's a picture of Mason Reese back then.The reason I bring all of this up is because today is Rodney Allen Rippy's birthday, and as you can see, at the age of 41, he grew up a very good-looking young man. ....on the other hand, Mason Reese is still hideous-looking.

Several new polls show Congress' approval rating sinking to around 30%, and Speaker Nancy Pelosi's approval rating about the same. Politico.com asked her if she minds being one of the most despised politicians in the country. She laughed and said, "No, I don't care.........I'm not particularly concerned if I'm liked."
If she is concerned, her face doesn't show it. In fact, her face never moves.

HEY, PELOSI!! EASE UP ON THE BOTOX, WILL YA?!!!!!!

I almost hesitate to get into the last thing because I'm sure there's an obvious, logical answer to my this question, and I'm missing it and will wind up looking like an idiot, but here goes............

You can go into any supermarket around town, Wegman's, Ukrop's. Giant. Bloom, it doesn't matter which one and buy ready-made macaroni salad, which they usually make themselves right on the premises. Let's say you go in and buy one pound of macaroni salad. You get this little plastic tub of macaroni salad that easily fits into your hand, and sure enough, it says it's a pound right on that little label they stick on to it. The other night, Rae decided to make macaroni salad at home (which she does very well). She had a one-pound box of elbow macaroni, but only made half the box. That's half of a pound of macaroni. Rae doesn't add any "unusual" ingredients in her macaroni salad, just the normal stuff, celery, green onion, diced tomatoes, etc. Cooking only half a pound of elbow macaroni, she always winds up with this big bowl of macaroni salad. It's at least 4 times the size of the little plastic tub they give you in the store when you buy ONE POUND of the stuff. How is it that when you buy a pound of the macaroni salad in the store, you get a little container, but when you make a half of pound at home, you wind up with this huge bowl? Can somebody out there explain this to me. Seriously, it's driving me nuts. What is it that I'm not getting about this? If you can explain this, call me in the studio in the morning at 540 710-1045, or if you don't feel comfortable calling a radio station, e-mail me at dennymore@thunder1045.com .

posted by Denny # 5:02 PM 0 Comments

Monday, July 27, 2009

Post-Palooza, Quote Of The Week & More Chips

Thanks to all of you who came out to AquaPalooza. Seven thousand of you did so, and helped to make it an incredibly successful event. I haven't seen so many people since the last time all my ex-wives got together.

Happy Birthday, and whatever happened to Bobbie Gentry, former Las Vegas showgirl-turned-country singer, and one-hit wonder (Ode To Billie Joe).

She is 65 today.

Our QUOTE OF THE WEEK comes from Brad Pitt, a good-looking guy, but apparently as dumb as a bag of hammers.

Over the weekend, the German magazine Bild asked him if he believed in God. Here's his reply:

"No, no, no! I'm probably 20% atheist, 80% agnostic and 10% believer."

This is definitely the greatest country on earth, and here's just another example as to why:

Because of the recession, snacks are getting bigger. Last year, because of ingredient costs soaring, chip bags, cereal, cookie boxes and ice cream cartons were shrinking. But this year, with heavy competition from cheaper store brands, snack packages are growing bigger.

Frito-Lay has made their bags of Doritos, Fritos and Cheetos 20% bigger with no increase in price in order to attract consumers. Snack Factory pretzel bags are now 25% larger, also for the same price as the previous size.

So think about this, we are probably the only nation in the world whose people will come out of a depression FATTER than they were when we went into it.

In the words of my comedian buddy Yakov Smirnoff, "What A country!"

posted by Denny # 6:47 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pre-Palooza, Shania & A Giant Wiener

I'm going to be out doing my second Pre-Palooza party tomorrow from 3 to 7 P.M. at The Electric Palm, located at Prince William Marina in Occoquan. This is a beautiful place overlooking the river. If you've registered your boat for Aquapalooza, this would be your opportunity to stop to pick up your "Aquapalooza Goodies Bag". While you're there, pop over and say, "Hi" and shake hands. I'd love to meet you.

Fourteen years ago today, Shania Twain had her first #1 hit with "Any Man Of Mine" topping the Billboard country music chart.

Happy Birthday to Don Henley of Eagles fame. He's 62.

Fifteen years ago today, O.J. Simpson was in the news. He was in court being arraigned on 2 murder charges (against ex-wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman). Simpson pleaded "absolutely, 100% not guilty".

...........and he actually said it with a straight face.

There was a little accident last Friday morning with the famous Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. The driver tried to turn around in a residential driveway. She thought she was reverse, but unfortunately, she was in drive. When she stepped on the gas, she wound up ramming the giant wiener right into the house of the people who lived there.

It busted up the garage, the deck and cracked the foundation of the house. Workers had to extricate it. Nobody was injured, and Oscar Mayer says insurance should cover the damage.

Can you imagine filing this insurance claim?

"We need to file a damage report. Our house was rammed by a giant wiener".

Good luck with that one.

Finally, a few weeks ago I mentioned on the air that the world's oldest living human, a gentleman from Japan died at the age of 113. When he died, the title of oldest living human went to Henry Allingham of England, also 113.

When asked what kind of life he's led, he said it was a life full of "cigarettes, whiskey and wild, wild women". He also died last week at the age of 113, proving that it's true what they say.............cigarettes, whiskey and wild women will kill you.

posted by Denny # 7:13 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

PRE-PALOOZA , Cowboy Ron & Iron Head

Do you work up North? Maybe you're heading home sometime between 3 P.M. and 7 P.M.? Make plans to stop by and join me for the Pre-Palooza at AT THE ELECTRIC PALM LOCATED AT THE PRINCE WILLIAM MARINA IN OCCOQUAN. I'll be out there with your chance to pick up your "goody" bag for AQUAPALOOZA (which, of course, is happening this Saturday). As is always the case with these live appearances, I look forward to seeing you.

On this day in 1989, the man who, in my opinion, was possibly the greatest President this country has ever seen, the great Ronald Reagan, was inducted into the Cowboy Hall Of Fame.

There's a lot of talk going around about Jessica Simpson since she's been dumped by Tony Romo. Some people are speculating that she might get back together with Nick Lachey.

My prediction: She could very well be getting back together with either one of these two guys. My guess is that they'll both be crawling back to her as soon as they start to miss that intellectual stimulation they got with Jessica.

Finally, the 13th Annual Redneck Games were held in Dublin, Georgia this past weekend. The events included the mud pit belly-flop, the armpit serenade (an armpit fart contest), a watermelon seed spitting contest, and my personal favorite, the "bobbing for pig's feet" contest. The proud winner of that competition was Eric "Ironhead" Outler, removing all of the pig's feet with his mouth in just 21 seconds. His parents must be proud.

All together now, let's do a Foxworthy...............YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF YOUR NICKNAME IS "IRONHEAD".

posted by Denny # 8:02 PM 0 Comments

Monday, July 20, 2009

Wine & Whiskers, Michael Jackson in Butter & Smile, You're On Candid Camera!

Thanks to everybody who came out to Wine & Whiskers Saturday night at Lake Anna Winery. It started out a little quiet, but after about an hour or so, the wine kicked in and everybody loosened up and we had a great time out there. Great Food, great wine and a really great band, String Kings. If you see they're going to be around again, check them out. All of the money made Saturday benefited the Fredericksburg SPCA, so thanks again to all of you who were there.

On my first official day of vacation last week, Monday, I got a letter in the mail from the D.C. Police. Why, I wondered, would the D.C. Police POSSIBLY be sending ME a letter. I opened the letter to find this picture:

It's a picture of me driving my wife's convertible "Hey, how cool!! They took my picture and sent it to me!" Then I realized it was a speeding ticket. The letter went on to explain that they took this picture of me "speeding" through D.C. back in June. The letter went on the say that they were fining me $100.00, payable by August 12. If I didn't pay by August 12, the fine would automatically DOUBLE to $200.00. This is how they do it these days? There's no personal contact with the cop? No pleading your case? No interaction with the police?

I got caught in radar on Leavalls Road back in December, but at least there was a little conversation with the officer, Officer Tudor of the Spotsylvania Sheriff's Department. In fact, he actually turned out to be a pretty nice guy with a great sense of humor. I still got a ticket, but at least I feel like I got my money's worth. But this D.C. thing...................... Anyway, that's I started my vacation.

Happy Birthday today to Julianne Hough.

She's 21 today. (I own shirts older than her)

Thirteen years ago today, the first album of LeAnn Rimes, "Blue", debuted at #1 on Billboard's country chart, and #4 on the pop album chart.

She was 13 at the time.

Fifteen years ago today O.J. Simpson made news again by publicly offering a reward of $500,000.00 for the capture of his ex-wife's "real killer". Then he probably went out and played golf.

Of course, the big one: 40 years ago today, Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin became the first and second men to walk on the moon. Armstrong's famous quote was: "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." All of this, of course, was later surpassed by an even greater accomplishment:

GOLFING ON THE MOON

The Michael Jackson fiasco continues. The latest controversy comes out of (of all places) Iowa. For the Iowa State Fair this year, someone got the idea of erecting a statue of Michael Jackson made entirely of butter. Apparently, it's for a butter festival which is a part of the fair every year. Some people didn't like the idea, so now, the people of Iowa are being asked to vote online as to whether or not they should have this butter statue of Jackson. To add to the insanity, P.E.T.A., People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has jumped in. They oppose the statue because they believe dairy products are cruel to cows. WHAT? P.E.T.A. says if they're going to have this statue of Jackson, it should be made of something called "Earth Balance", which they describe as "a non-dairy buttery spread". Basically, an imitation butter.

People will look at the statue and say, "I can't believe it's not Michael."

My personal recommendation: use margarine, which is mostly chemicals. Somehow for a Michael Jackson statue, that seems oddly appropriate.

posted by Denny # 5:25 PM 0 Comments

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Tying Up Loose Ends, Happy Birthday, O.J. & A Michael Jackson Update

THIS JUST IN FROM THE ASSOCIATED PRESS: MICHAEL JACKSON IS STILL DEAD.....MORE UPDATES TO FOLLOW.

This will probably be my last entry for awhile. I'm on vacation for a week starting this weekend. Therefore, let me get in a few last minute reminders:

I will be out at Tim's I in Dumfries tomorrow from 6 P.M. to 8 P.M. for Flip-Flop Friday.

Please come on by and say, "Hi", play some games with us and maybe win yourself a pair of tickets to see Kenny Chesney, Miranda Lambert and Lady Attebellum on August 29.

On Saturday night, I bring my live stage show to The Riverboat On The Potomac in Colonial Beach. This is NOT a Thunder remote. It will not be broadcast. In fact, it is an ADULT show. It's the show I've been doing throughout the country for many years. This is the FIRST time I'm doing it locally. I'll be onstage for 2 hours, and you have probably never seen a show quite like this one. Hope to see you there. For ticket info, contact The Riverboat On The Potomac at 804-224-7055.

Filling in for me all next week will be Braden Smith.

Next Saturday, July 18, I'll be out hosting Wine & Whiskers at Lake Ann Winery. All proceeds will benefit the Fredericksburg SPCA. Speaking of which, SPCA Director Debra Joseph has been on vacation the past 2 weeks, but she is back and will join me tomorrow morning for Denny's Furry Friends.

In the "What A Way To Go" department, a Camden County, New Jersey man has died after falling into a vat of chocolate. Vincent Smith, age 29, was a temporary employee at the Cocoa Services Incorporated plant. He was standing on a plank over the vat when he fell in. The chocolate was being heated at the time at 120 degrees. Co-workers tried to pull him at to no avail. By the time rescue workers arrived on the scene, he had been in the chocolate for 10 minutes already. When they finally did pull him out, he was dead. Camden County Police are calling this an accident. Nevertheless, they are taking a close look at this guy.

Finally, O.J. Simpson is having a birthday today. he is 61 today.

If they have a celebration for him in jail, my advice is to let somebody else cut the cake.

See ya in a week!

posted by Denny # 6:28 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A Day With Jacko, An Evening With Denny & A Fat Cat

I got home late this morning and, as always, Rae has Fox News on. Like almost every other channel, they're covering the over-the-top, circus-like, fandango known as the Michael Jackson memorial service at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. I didn't want to see this guy die. Nobody wants to see anybody die (Well, I'd like to see Osama Bin Laden die), but let's be honest here. The guy was a song and dance man, and nothing more. He was no great humanitarian. He didn't find a cure for cancer. He was a court jester, an entertainer..........nothing more. Sure, he was a great dancer, but so was Gene Kelly. So was Fred Astaire. So was Gregory Hines, but there wasn't this carrying on when they died. Sure, he sold a lot of records, but so did Johnny Cash. There was no royal-like memorial service for him. Our soldiers are dying every week. You barely hear about that (the media made sure you heard about it when George Bush was Presidnet). As a talent, as an entertainer, I liked Jackson. In fact, I bought the Thriller album when it came out. It was great. But has everyone forgot the other side of Wacko Jacko.......

The constant and bizarre cosmetic surgery procedures.

Him trying to purchase the remains of Joesph Merrick, The Elephant Man.

The child molestation accusations.

For beauty purposes and to live longer, he used to sleep in an oxygen tent (apparently it didn't work).

Three words: Bubbles The Chimp

...and has everyone forgotten this image?

As I sit here early Tuesday evening, I would be relieved if I thought this gushing of the media over this misfit was over, but sadly, I know better.

On a much more cheerful note, some of you are aware of this, some of you are not. Aside from being in radio throughout the years, I also a professional comedian. I know that's hard to believe based on some of the jokes I tell in the mornings, but I am. I have a club act that I've been doing for many years throughout the country, and still do from time to time on weekends. Ever since I moved down here, people have been asking me, When are you going to do your show locally?" Well, I'm happy to announce that we've finally been able to work this out with our good friends over at The Riverboat On The Potomac in Colonial Beach , and An Evening With Denny More is happening THIS Saturday night, July 11. I want to make this clear. This is NOT a remote broadcast. In fact, it really has no connection to Thunder. This is a two-hour, live, ADULT show, and if you're looking for some laughs, come on out this Saturday night. The show features COMEDY, MAGIC & HYPNOSIS. I suspect this show will sell out, so for ticket information, contact The Riverboat On The Potomac at 804-224-7055. I'm looking forward to seeing you out there Saturday night.

A few tid-bits of information concerning today's date:

On this date in 1946, former President Jimmy ("I'll never lie to you") Carter and Rosalynn were married. He was 21. She was 18.

On this date in 1956, Johnny Cash made his first appearance ever at the Grand Ole Opry.

Finally, on this date in 1978, the original Morris The Cat, the finicky star of the 9-Lives Cat Food commercials died in Chicago at the age of 17, That's pretty old for a cat.

Turns out that apparently Morris wasn't really finicky. He was just senile.

posted by Denny # 6:33 PM 0 Comments

Monday, July 6, 2009

Leather, Alan Jackson & Jenny Sanford Speaks

Thanks to everyone who came out to our live remote broadcasts this weekend. We had a lot of fun at Radley Chevrolet Friday morning, and we had an equal amount of fun at Powell's Furniture yesterday (despite the rain). By now, you probably know that you guys voted for the leather living room set by an overwhelming majority. Let me make something very clear. Rae and I personally selected the three living room sets in question, and agreed that we'd be happy with whichever one you voted for. I was kind of playing up the "I prefer the leather, but Rae's not too keen on it", just to add a little drama to the whole thing. The truth is Rae and I are BOTH thrilled with your choice. Thanks to all of you who voted, and congratulations to Mary Marshall of Fredericksburg who was the winner of the new living room set (also the leather one).

Speaking of home furnishings and that sort of thing, if you're currently looking to buy house, you might be interested to know that Alan Jackson and his wife, Denise, have put their house in Franklin, Tennessee ( a suburb of Nashville) up for sale.

It's 19,000 square feet, six bedrooms, seven full baths, five fireplaces, a twenty-car garage and a gymnasium. They're asking $38 million for it. Sounds like a steal. I guess maybe The Jacksons want to downsize to a small one-bedroom condo.

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford continues to crack me up. I love when he says his mistress in Argentina is his soul mate, but he's in the process of trying to fall back in love with his wife. There you go, pal! That's the kind of sweet talk that'll win your wife back in no time. His wife, Jenny, finally spoke up for the first time.

She says she find her husband's behavior "inexcusable", but she is willing to forgive him. WOW! I've got to go out and get myself a political wife!! Are these women so void of self-esteem, or are they so intoxicated with the power of being married to a politician, that they'll allow these guys to humiliate them in public? Do you know what Rae would do to me if she caught me romancing some chick in Argentina (or anywhere as far as that goes). I don't want to think about it.

posted by Denny # 5:07 PM 2 Comments

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Two Live Remote Broadcasts, ManGrate & Throwing Up In Chi-Town

Hopefully, you were with me this morning to hear the big announcement regarding the headline performer this year at Aquapalooza, July 25 in Fairview Beach. It's Daryle Singeltary!

Daryle will also be joining me on the show Monday morning (It was originally scheduled for Friday, but we moved it to Monday).

I have two live remote broadcasts this weekend. I hope you can come out to at least one of them. Tomorrow morning, when I get off the air, I'm immediately shooting over to Radley Chevrolet on Route One in Fredericksburg for remote number one. The new 2010 Chevy Camaro will be on display, plus we'll have free lunch for you from Lenny's Subs. So, come on out and say, "Hi" to us, and we'll feed you AND you can spin our prize wheel as well.

Then, on Sunday, I'll be out at Powell's Furniture on Route 3. This s a major remote broadcast for several reasons. First, Rae and I will find out which of the three living room sets in question you guys voted for. That's the one we're taking home with us. We have a lot of faith in your judgement on this one. Secondly, we'll also find out which one of you wins the exact same, brand new living room set. If you voted, you're automatically in the drawing. If you haven't voted, stop on by Sunday and do so. There's no obligation and no purchase is necessary. Just stop by to see us and vote. We will draw the winner during the live broadcast. Also, don't forget, when you vote, you get a $50.00 gift card to Powell's Furniture.

Starting Tuesday of next week, we have a new sponsor on the show. I'll be talking about this great product throughout the week. For now, let me just say this: If you are into grilling, you are going to LOVE this product called ManGrate. Stay tuned for details.

Finally, a new tourist attraction has opened in The Sears Towers in Chicago. It's called The Ledges. They're enclosed balconies made entirely of glass and mounted on the 103rd floor sky deck. They stick out 4 feet over the ledge of the building, so people can look between their shoes and see a dizzying 1,353 feet down, as if they're standing in mid-air.

This must be how Wile E. Coyote feels just before he realizes he's run off the edge of a cliff and drops.

One of the owners of The Ledges says that when most people step out on to the ledge for the first time, their reaction is, "WOW!" (As in, "WOW! I THINK I'M GOING TO HURL"). He adds that some people have actually gotten sick from vertigo while standing out there.

My question is why would you want to go to a tourist attraction that makes you want to vomit? I wouldn't. And if I did want to go to a tourist attraction that makes you want to vomit, I'd go to Disney World and hop on "It's A Small World".

posted by Denny # 6:53 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Correction, Paul Hayden & Put Out That Cigarette!

In yesterday's entry, I mentioned that we would have the headliner of this year's Aquapalooza on the show with me on Friday. Correction: I will have that person on the show with me on MONDAY. However, I will still be announcing who that person is, tomorrow morning, so join me then.

You might have heard by now that, over the weekend, More In The Morning won the award for best morning radio show in Virginia by the Virginia Association of Broadcasters. It's very flattering, and I'm very happy about it, but I wanted to point out that I'm not alone in the morning. Shelia Quinn is the consummate professional. Her coverage of local and national news is always on the money. Kristin Nash always brings a smile to my face. She's talented, quick-witted, funny, and her Walk Down Music Row is always informative AND entertaining. Last and certainly not least, Paul Hayden, who does traffic every 10 minutes in the morning. Let me tell you about Paul. He is one of the funniest guys I know, and I'm a guy who has professional comedians for friends. Believe me, getting up in the middle of the night to go to work is no fun, but Paul makes my mornings, not only tolerable, but actually enjoyable. On the air, he comes across as this very straight-laced guy who is all-business, but when his mic is turned off, I guarantee he will do or say something to crack me up. If you hear me laughing in the morning for no APPARENT reason, it's probably Paul doing something to break me up. All 3 of them, Paul, Kristin and Shelia are a delight to work with.

Finally, a story out of Jensen Beach, Florida: A man has been arrested for domestic violence for attacking his wife and drenching her with his garden hose IN THEIR HOUSE, because she was smoking in the house. John Jeffrey Murray, age: 51, began yelling at his wife to put out her cigarette in the house. When she refused, he brought in the garden hose and drenched her in the living room. When a struggle ensued, he wound up hitting her in the mouth with his elbow. She called the police. He was arrested. WHAT A DOPE! Think about it. Now, he has an angry wife, a police record and a moldy carpet.

He hoses down and hits his wife for smoking cigarettes in the house. Ironically, now he's going to jail, where he will probably be TRADED for cigarettes...if you know what I mean.