More in the Morning: December 2009

Thursday, December 24, 2009

MERRY CHRISTMAS

FROM MYSELF, MY WIFE, RAE,

THE MORE IN THE MORNING CREW:

KRISTIN NASH, PAUL HAYDEN & SHEILA QUINN,

AND EVERYONE AT THUNDER 104.5!!!

Oh, and WATSON, THE WONDER DOG!!!

posted by Denny # 5:24 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Good-Bye, Rain Man, Drink And Think Purple & Snow In Copenhagen

Congratulations to Carrie Underwood, who announced yesterday that she got engaged to hockey player Mike Fisher.

There's probably a joke here somewhere about his stick, but we'll just move on.

From a happy note, we go to a sad note: The real-life "Rain Man" has died. He is the man who inspired the title character in the Oscar-winning movie.

Kim Peek was 58. Hmmmmmmmmm....I wonder how many seconds that is.

Some interesting medical news today: Drinking purple grape juice can reduce or even REVERSE memory loss. Experts believe antioxidants in the skin and juice of purple grapes are behind the results. Scientists at the psychiatry department of the University of Cincinnati carried out a study involving people with early memory loss. They found that those who drank grape juice showed great memory improvement. Therefore, they believe that drinking grape juice reduces and even reverses memory loss.

I should try this. Do you know how many times I walk into a room to get something and when I get into the room, I have no idea what I went in there for? Then I have to go back into the room I came from to try to figure it out. Actually, I DO drink a lot of grape juice, but in my case the grape juice is fermented which can actually CAUSE memory loss.

This colossal waste of time, money and energy known as the U.N. Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen is history. While these jokers were there trying to figure out how to stop global warming, the temperature there dropped to the mid-20s, cold even for Copenhagen this time of year, AND they got four inches of snow. Plus, President OH-bama had to leave early to get back to D.C. to deal with one of the worst blizzards in recent history.

I guess I have to hand it to these guys. They do seem to be doing a bang up job of keeping the temperature down.

Maybe they should hold the next conference in Death Valley.

As I'm sure you've figured out by now, I'm not a big fan of President OH-bama's, but I'm even less of a fan of the airlines. Earlier this week, the OH-bama administration ordered the airline industry to let passengers off planes if they are delayed on the runway for more than three hours. I think it's a good thing, but the media, who absolutely LOVES anything and everything this guy does, immediately hailed this as a "Christmas Miracle" A Christmas Miracle?? Now we're getting carried away. Beside, it doesn't go into effect for 120 days..............so enjoy those three months on the runway.

In addition, you are now entitled to a ticket refund if you have to sit next to A.) a crying baby, B.) a fat person, or C.) Joe Biden.

Alright, I made that last part up.

posted by Denny # 4:28 PM 0 Comments

Monday, December 21, 2009

Snow In Virginia, Water In Florida & Jessica In The Woods

Wow! What a wild weekend! So much for global warming. As a New Jersey native, I've seen my share of snowstorms in my day, but the one we had this weekend was one of the worst. It started snowing around 6 P.M. on Friday and didn't stop until late Saturday night........well over 24 hours of (pretty much) constant precipitation. There were two things I didn't have . One was a snow shovel, and two was a pair of boots. So both Rae and I headed out in search of a shovel and finally found a store that still had a few available. Getting home, I found myself shoveling snow for about 2 hours as I tried to clear the driveway. I'm not real big on this "manual labor" thing. In fact, I always though "manual labor" was the name of the guy who came around to shovel your driveway.

While I was out, I also needed a pair of boots. I went to a store over at Cosner's Corner, found a pair I liked and went up to the cashier to buy for them.

The cashier said, "That'll be $80.00, and would you like to purchase the extended warranty with those?"

"What?"

"Would you like to purchase the extended warranty with the boots? It'll be another $11.00?"

"An extended warranty on a pair of boots??? What could POSSIBLY go wrong with a pair of boots?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Yeah, you're right. I would be."

"I'm glad I had the extended warranty on my boots, Two months after I purchased them, the sole split in two."

"What are you telling me? That if two months from now, the sole on these boots split, I'm screwed?"

"Basically, yes".

"I'll take my chances. I pass on the extended warranty."

So that's what it's come down to. The quality of goods and services has sunk to such a low level in this country, that now they suggest you buy an extended warranty, even on a pair of boots.

I gotta get out of here.

Here's a little preview for More's Mystery tomorrow morning: We'll be looking for an actress who started in daytime soap operas, and can currently be seen every week on a popular ABC series.

Congratulations to Blake Wood of Fredericksburg. This morning's qualifier in Denny's Magic Of Christmas contest. We'll be looking for three more qualifiers this week, and then we'll have the grand prize drawing on Christmas Eve. This week's winner gets their mortgage payment or rent paid for next month. We'll be looking for our next qualifier tomorrow morning in the 7 o'clock hour.

In addition, don't forget to get those Miller Lite stories in to me. I need a story from you about your greatest Miller Lite moment or memory....any story involving Miller Lite. It doesn't matter whether it's funny or sad story, a happy or sad story.........in fact, I don't even care if it's true story or not. Just tell me your story and it automatically qualifies you for the Live New Year's Eve Countdown Party at YOUR house. You could wind up winning a free party on New Year's Eve with free food and free Miller Lite for you and 24 of your friends, and I'll be there live, along with the Thunder crew broadcasting the whole thing from YOUR living room. To get you story to me, call me any morning between the hours of 5 to 9 A.M., or you can e-mail your story to me at dennymore@thunder1045.com .

There has been some major flooding in South Florida. Chuck Lanza, Director of the Broward Emergency Operations Center, said a team of FEMA workers will be in South Florida to survey the extent of the damage. Most of the flooding is in the eastern Broward County and northeast Miami-Dade County.

Either they had a lot of rain down there, or Tiger Woods hit another fire hydrant.

Speaking of Tiger Woods, Jessica Simpson has officially become the first celebrity to be linked to Woods.

The Star tabloid is reporting that an anonymous source told them that the busty blond became very "close" with Tiger when she sang the national anthem at a golf tournament this past July. According to the source, Tiger "liked what he saw and let her know it". Jessica is threatening legal action against The Star. A spokesperson for Simpson says "Nothing went on. Jessica was only at the tournament for a few hours. She met Tiger, they took a photo together and that was it. The whole thing took two seconds."The way I see it, two seconds is all Tiger needs to be intimate with a woman. If he took any longer, he wouldn't possibly be able to fit them all it.

So, is the whole thing true or untrue? Who knows. I guess to be fair we really shouldn't presume that Tiger would even have any interest in Jessica. Why should we assume that he would interested in a gorgeous, sexy, buxom blond with no brains? What guy would want that?

Because of the snow this weekend, I had a chance to watch a lot of TV this past weekend. I have an odd mind and sometimes I'm my own best audience. Even on the air sometimes, you might hear me laugh for no apparent reason. Chances are it's me entertaining myself in my head. I'll have a though pop into my brain that, unfortunately, I can't verbalize without fear of either offending someone or violating an FCC rule. The point of all this is this: Over the weekend, I spent most of the time flipping back and forth between the Western Channel and Fox News. At one point, Nancy "Bela Lugosi" Pelosi was on blabbing about something, and I was sitting there saying to myself, "Who does she look like?". Then it hit me. It's not WHO does she look like, It's WHAT does she look like? Thanks to an over-abundance of Botox, Pelosi perpetually has this look like she just opened her first Easy-Bake Oven on Christmas morning.

posted by Denny # 4:54 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

New Year's Eve, More Bad Numbers For OH-bama & A Unique, Morbid, Goulish Gift

Qualifying continues tomorrow morning for Denny's Magic Of Christmas. Nancy Noxon of Fredericksburg was this morning's qualifier. We'll only be taking two more qualifiers this week, so if you're one of them, your chances of winning the grand prize for the week are one-in-four. Not bad! That grand prize is me paying one of your monthly bills, and this week, we're down to either your car payment or mortgage (or rent). Be listening for your chance to call in and win in the eight o'clock hour tomorrow morning.

Come Monday morning, I'm going to be busier than Nancy Pelosi's Botox supplier because we will be getting qualifiers for the final week of Denny"s Magic Of Christmas, but in addition, we will start taking qualifiers for our New Year's Eve contest. You could win a catered party for you and 25 of your friends at your own house, all thanks to the great people at Miller Lite. Not only that, but I'll be there as well, broadcasting live.................yes, FROM YOUR HOUSE!!! How do you qualify? Starting Monday, I'll be asking you to call in with your favorite Miller Lite taste moment, any great story in which Miller Lite was somehow involved. If you're chosen, we'll be bringing the party to your house. Keep listening for details.

For More's Mystery tomorrow, we'll be looking for an actor who originally wanted to be a ballet dancer, and who, in fact, studied ballet for years.
More bad poll numbers for President Barack OH-bama. According to a Public Policy Poll, 44% of Americans would prefer George W. Bush back in office as President Of The United States. That same poll shows 20% of Americans believe OH-bama should be impeached (I have no idea why). But then, those people thought about it and realized that comedian Joe Biden would be next in line for the job, and they said, "Whoop, Never mind. We're good. We're good".

Thanks to our morning news babe, Sheila Quinn for pointing this out to us: Robert G. Heft, who is credited with designing and sewing America's first 50-star flag has died at the age of 67. He made the flag in 1958 to commemorate Alaska and Hawaii joining the union. He spent more than 12 hours sewing the design on his mother's Singer sewing machine. Is this really a big deal? I mean I suspect he pretty much got the idea from looking at the previous 48-star flag and sticking 2 more stars on it.

Finally, if you're looking for a unique holiday gift, CremationSolutions.com might have the answer: The Personal Urn. Send them a couple of pictures of the loved one, and using advanced 3D computer imaging, they will create an exact, life-size replica of the departed's head. It's painted to look amazingly realistic. There's no hair on it, but for an additional cost, the company will provide you with a suitable wig for the finishing touch. A spokesperson for CremationSolutions.com refers to the urn as "a family heirloom that will be cherished for generations."

...and I'm sure it's comforting the way the eyes seem to follow you as you walk around the room.

As usual, I have an idea to improve this product. How about a Chia version!!

Seriously, this really is a great gift because there's so much you can do with it. For instance, around this time of year, you can put it on your porch with a white beard and Santa hat.

posted by Denny # 6:35 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Holiday Fun, Enviromentalist Hypocrites & A New Endorsement Job For Tiger

Thunder Holiday Party #2 is happening tomorrow night. I'll be out at Buffalo Wild Wings in Central Park (right behind the Santa Fe Car wash) from 5 to 7 P.M., and of course, YOU"RE invited. I'll be out there with the Thunder Crew with a lot of laughs and some great prizes to give away. I look forward to seeing you out there!!

Happy Birthday today to one-hit wonder, Sylvia ("Nobody"). She's 53 today. Felicity Huffman from Desperate Housewives is 47, and Donny Osmond is 52 today.

HOW DEPRESSING IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 12-day Copenhagen Climate Conference is in full swing. This immense waste of time, money and effort is expected to draw 15,000 delegates from around the world, plus 5,000 journalists, 98 world leaders and of course, a huge number of Hollywood stars, who can't get enough of this whole global warming madness.

Here's a few stats most in the mainstream media will probably NOT pass along to you. It is estimated that during the 12 days, this Fandango will generate over 41,000 TONS of CO2. That's as much as the entire nation of Morocco generated in the year 2006. It's a shame they have to do so much damage to the environment travelling like that.

If only there was some sort of...........I don't know..............electronic device or something.......that would enable people to talk to each other over great distances.

Then again, there's probably no better way to illustrate the need to reduce CO2 to stop the dreaded global warming than by taking a private jet to Scandinavia in December. What a bunch of fake, phony frauds.

Hey, look, I don't know if global warming is actually taking place, but neither do you. For every scientist who pops up to say it's true, another one will pop up to say it's NOT true. But let's give these bleeding heart wackos the benefit of the doubt. Let's say the earth really is getting warmer. I say we didn't do it. We humans had NOTHING to do with with. I believe that IF (and it's a big IF) it really is taking place, it's a natural cycle of the earth that will work itself out. Just like we didn't cause it, we can't stop it. This environmentalist/global warming insanity is a bunch of propaganda being circulated for the purpose of scaring you, and ultimately controlling you and how you live.

Comedian George Carlin put it best. The earth has been around for millions and millions of years, and has been through and survived some of the most horrendous natural catastrophes imaginable including floods, hurricanes, tornados, typhoons, volcanoes, heat waves, frigid temperatures, glaciers, meteors, comets, droughts, earthquakes, the list goes on and on, and humans had absolutely nothing to do with causing any of them. And guess what. The earth survived and in fact, thrived during some periods following these natural disasters. The earth will continue to survive for a long, long time......long after all of us are gone, and what kind of light bulb we use will have NOTHING to do with it.

To sum it all up: The earth isn't going anywhere. We are.

Elsewhere, Tiger Woods continues to take a hit on some of his marketing endorsements.

Marketers have removed all ads featuring Woods from prime time on all major broadcast networks and 19 cable channels until further notice. In addition, Gatorade has dropped him as a spokesperson. They will also be dropping his signature drink, Tiger Focus. Worst of all, Playgirl Magazine claims they have obtained naked pictures of Woods. Playgirl says they're holding off on doing anything with them until they're authenticated. Well, apparently there are hundreds of women out there who can authenticate them. I'm beginning to think you need a camera with an incredibly fast shutter speed to get any photos of this guy with his clothes ON.

You probably won't see Tiger on Wheaties breakfast cereal boxes much longer either. I think he will always be able to find product endorsement jobs, but just for different types of products and businesses. All things considered, I think he'd be a natural to be a spokesperson for Safelite Auto Glass.

But finally, there is some good to come out of the whole Tiger Woods thing. GM has made a deal with Tiger to repair his Cadillac Escalade, the one from his "accident", and eventually auction it off, with the money going to charity.

.............and this car has some value to it because this is the car in which he had an affair with the OnStar lady.

See you tomorrow night at Buffalo Wild Wings!

posted by Denny # 4:31 PM 0 Comments

Friday, December 4, 2009

Firkin And Bulldog, Ogre In The Woods & A Grown Man Identifying Himself As "Wink"

If you weren't at the Firkin & Bulldog Pub last night in Stafford, you missed a good time. It was the site of our first of three holiday parties we're hosting. The next one is next Thursday night and will be held at Buffalo Wild Wings in Central Park. I'll be there and hope you will be too.

Happy Birthday today to TV personality Wink Martindale. He is 75 today. Max Baer Jr, who played Jethro in the classic Beverly Hillbillies, is 72 today, and the lovely, lovely Marisa Tomei, who in my eyes, will always be Mona Lisa Vito in My Cousin Vinny, is 45 today.

The Tiger Woods thing was the topic of discussion this morning. I haven't had so many calls coming in on any one particular subject in a long time. People's opinions on this seem almost completely divided among gender lines. Women seem to think he is a disgusting piece of trash. Men think it's no big deal, none of our business and he should be left alone.

Me..............I have no dog in this race. Whatever this guy has done and however it turns out will not affect me one bit. But the fact remains that Woods is a high-profile public figure, who up until now, had a squeaky clean image. People are fascinated to learn that he is just as much of a pig as most men. That, plus the fact that as I've always believed, many people have no real lives to speak of, and they live vicariously through these various celebrities, movie stars and sports figures.

In any event, this guy's problems continue to mount, and twists and turns in this story keep happening almost every hour. According to "The Daily Beast", Woods has agreed to pay his wife $5 million up front and another $55 million over the next two years to persuade her to stay in their marriage for, at least, that two-year period. I can't imagine her NOT doing that. Heck, I'd live with the guy for two years for that kind of money. It sounds like a lot of money, BUT the word is that if they divorce, even with the prenuptial agreement, she could walk away with about a half a billion dollars. If I were her, I'd go for the divorce. She'd be financially set for the rest of her life and would no longer have to be worried about what this guy is doing out on these tours. Plus, let's face it, she certainly doesn't have to worry about getting a date.

Ogre Winfrey has entered into this fiasco. She called Woods to offer him advice and reassurance. She also offered him the opportunity to come on to her show to tell his side of the story. If you think about it, he also HAS to take her up on the offer. If he doesn't, Ogre could wind up going to all of his extra-marital chickiepoos, and putting THEM on the show. These ladies are eventually going to find themselves on TV anyway, so he might as well go on and at least get his side of the story out.

Better yet, I think Ogre should have him on the show ALONG WITH his wife AND the mistresses, but not tell him they are there until they get on the air. "Tiger, we have a little surprise for you! Backstage are your wife and mistresses. LADIES....COME ON DOWN!!!"

Legally, Woods got a ticket for his accident with a $165.00 fine plus two points on his license. This is no laughing matter to be taken lightly. Those points could very well raise his car insurance premiums.

posted by Denny # 4:05 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A Firkin Holiday Party, A Bad Weekend For The Hasselhoffs & An Engaged Chelsea

Our live remote broadcast scheduled for this afternoon at the commuter lot with Martz Commuter Services, behind Ukrop's, was postponed because of the weather. It definitely would've been a bad hair day................probably a 9 on the Denny More Bad Hair Day Scale. It'll be re-scheduled. We'll keep you posted.

I am hosting a series a holiday parties for the next three Thursdays. Tomorrow night, the party is at Firkin & Bulldog (No, I'm not cursing. That's the name of the place.). It's on Route One in Stafford. I'll be out there live from 5 to 7 P.M. Come on out and party with me!!!!

Entertainment News:

David Hasselhoff has been released from a California hospital following his hospitalization for a "seizure" over the weekend, and where he was on "psychiatric hold". I don't even know what that means, but it doesn't sound good. The troubles don't stop there. Hasselhoff's ex-wife, Pamela Bach, was arrested over the weekend for drunk-driving.

I'm surprised these two broke up. They seem meant for each other. One eats a hamburger on the floor of his bathroom while his daughter videotapes it. The other one, whose whole claim to fame in life is being David Hasselhoff's ex-wife gets popped on a DUI. Nice family.

Speaking of nice families.......................Chelsea Clinton, the 29 year-old daughter of former President Bill "Slick Willy" Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham "Eva Perone" Clinton, has become engaged to her longtime boyfriend, 31 year-old Marc Mezvinsky.

The couple sent an e-mail over the holiday weekend announcing the news. They say they're looking at a possible wedding date next summer.

Mezvinsky is the son of former Pennsylvania Representative Marjorie Margolies-Mezvinsky and former Iowa Representative Ed Mezvinsky, a longtime friend of the Clintons. Ed Mezvinsky was released from federal prison last year, after serving nearly a five-year sentence for bank fraud.

So, the groom's father just got out of prison and the bride's father is an impeached president. Nice gene pool to work with.

posted by Denny # 6:16 PM 0 Comments