Thursday, April 30, 2009
Fox TV, Trained Foxes & Happy Birthday To A Couple of Old Foxes
More's Mystery tomorrow: We'll be looking for a food. Here's an extra clue I won't be giving out on the air tomorrow: the food we're looking for is a condiment, and this condiment made John Kerry's wife, Theresa Heinz a lot of money. You remember John Kerry, former Presidential hopeful, who looks like the talking tree from The Wizard of Oz.
President OH-bama held a live televised press conference last night. It was run by all the major networks except one. FOX-TV decided American Idol was more important than what the President of the United States has to say. I'm no Oh-bama fan, but how sad is it that Americans would rather watch a so-called reality show than a Presidential press conference, especially now more than ever. Anyway, I hope Fox never asks for a bailout.
Happy Birthday to a couple of old foxes today. Willie Nelson is 76, and Cloris Leachman is 83. I don't watch Dancing With The Stars, but of what I hear, Leachman's birthday party will probably be wilder than Willie's. Who would've ever thought that?
Ananova.com is reporting about a retired doctor in Derby, England who has trained wild foxes to stand on two legs and beg for food. Dr. Richard Levelle started feeding the foxes about five years ago, and now, seven of them visit his garden each night, where they stand upright on command and catch scrapes of meat Levelle throws to them. Nick Brown, of the Derbyshire Wildlife Trust says he's never heard of foxes being trained. I guess this is a big deal in England, but here in this country, we've trained foxes to stand of two legs and SERVE food. It's called Hooter's.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
A MAJOR "More's Mystery" Clue, Watson, The Wonder Computer & Swine, The Other White Meat
................that is if you don't count Ken Jennings and Alex Trebeck.
The swine flu continues to be on every one's mind.
The Senate finally approved Kathleen Sebellus as Health & Human Services Secretary, BUT there are still many Health & Human Services positions empty. Among them, we still don't have even a nominee for heads of the Food & Drug Administration or the Centers for Disease Control or the Surgeon General. This shouldn't surprise anyone. President OH-bama is not exactly known for being able to make decisions. After all, it took him 3 months to pick a dog.Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Busy Braden, Naked German Hikers & Maybe Michael Jackson Is Not So Crazy After All.
By the way, symptoms of swine flu include nausea, diarrhea, coughing, sneezing, fever, soar throat, runny nose, aches, pains, and an unusual, uncontrollable desire to roll around in the mud.Monday, April 27, 2009
Pam, Jack & Watson
.jpg)
Special thanks to Dr. Charis Thompson (second from the left), the Medical Director over there. I thank you, and Watson the Wonder Dog thanks you!
The Coors Light Song of the Day is up and running! Each morning, I'll tell you what the Coors Light song of the Day is, and give you a pretty good idea when you'll hear it. When you do, be the ninth caller at 710-1045, and you'll win the daily prize AND you'll qualify for the grand prize drawing on Friday, which this week is a trip to Hollywood, Florida! I also want to thank everyone who came out to see us Saturday at Rosner Toyota in Stafford, especially our new best friend, Arthur the Comcast cable guy. We had a lot of fun out there, although it sure was HOT!
Speaking of hot, in entertainment news, it appears Pamela Anderson is the latest victim of the bad economy. Celebnewswire.com is reporting that Pam is broke.........out of cash. In fact, she's living in a trailer. According to the website, Pam Anderson is living in a double-wide trailer in Malibu, under a fake name.
Of course, by no stretch of the imagination, is this the first time we've seen the words "Pam Anderson", "fake" & "double-wide" used in the same sentence.There are websites you can go to that give you little tid-bits of useless information concerning a particular date. I get a kick out of some of these, and share some with you in the morning. This was my favorite one today: On this date, April 27 in 1993, Dr. Jack Kevorkian lost his medical license.
What happened? Did they finally notice that ALL of his patients died?!Friday, April 24, 2009
Rae's Air Bags, Blago & Pregnant Bank Robbers
Maybe his hair can make a deal for it's own show on Animal Planet. OR.....I wonder if "The Biggest Loser" has any openings.
Hey, Lady, you're in the middle of a bank robbery. Let it go to voicemail, will ya!!!!!!!?Happy Birthday today to Kelly Clarkson. She's 27. Cedric the Entertainer is 45 today. Shirley MacLaine was born on this day back in 1934. Prior to that, she was born on this day in 1860, and on this day in 1786, and before that, on this day in 1711. She looks good for someone whose turned 75 twenty times. Finally, it is Barbara Streisand's birthday today. She's 67. She once told Mirabelle magazine that the lying right-wing media were to blame for the idea that she's mean, bossy and egotistical. HOWEVER, after 5 hours of retakes on a duet, the great Ray Charles was quoted as saying this about Babs: "She's a b____." I was kind of surprised to hear him say that. I always said that Barbara Streisand was a woman only a blind man could love.
Apparently, even that's not true.Thursday, April 23, 2009
Braden On Location, The Alexandria Parking Meter Guy & UFO Abduction Insurance
Not only will I be out at Rosner Toyota this Saturday, broadcasting live from 1 to 3, but Braden Smith will be out earlier in the day, broadcasting from The Spotsylvania Farmer's Market at the commuter lot at Route 3 and Gordon Road from 9 to 11 A.M. Rae and I LOVE this market, so we might even pop in ourselves.
For those of you who maybe weren't able to hang around for the answer to our trivia question this morning: According to the experts in the field, the average person falls asleep in about 7 minutes.
I am LOVING this story about the parking meter repairman is Alexandria, William J. Fell, who stole $170,000.00 in nickels, dimes and quarters over the past year. Authorities became suspicious when parking meter revenue dropped drastically over the last year, despite the fact that they raised the rate to $1.00 per hour. IF POLICE SUSPECTED THAT SOMEBODY WAS ROBBING TONS OF COINS OUT OF THE PARKING METERS, I WOULD THINK THE GUY WOULD BE EASY TO SPOT. LOOK FOR THE GUY WHOSE WALKING HUNCHED OVER...................WITH A HERNIA. Pardon the wording here, but Fell fell under suspicion and was secretly recorded between January and March, as he took bags and bags of coins. When police arrived at his house, it looked like a casino......literally buckets and buckets and buckets of coins. Fell has been charged with 2 counts of embezzlement by a public officer. He told an Alexandria judge that he needed a public defender, because he did not have enough money to hire a lawyer. WELL, IT'S NOT THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE THE MONEY. IT'S JUST THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO PAY THE LAWYER IN NICKELS, DIMES & QUARTERS. I'M WAITING TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY SET BAIL. WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF HE POSTS BAIL IN NICKELS?
Get ready for this one. Currently, about 10,000 Americans have UFO Abduction Insurance. The premium is $19.95 per month. The UFO Insurance Abduction Insurance Company guarantees you or your beneficiary, $10,000.00 , should you be kidnapped by an alien.
Yeah, good luck trying to collect on that one!! Suppose you have this insurance, you get abducted and the aliens perform one of those medical exams on you that they're so famous for. Is there a co-pay?
Read this blog everyday. Remember our slogan: "Denny's Blog......it's funnier than Craigslist..........and safer."
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Thunder On CMT, Conrad On More In The Morning & How To Live Longer
Joining me on More In The Morning on Friday will be an old friend and colleague, comic-hypnotist Gary Conrad. Gary is appearing at Liberty Center this weekend, and if you've never seen a comedy hypnosis show before, let me assure you, it's hilarious. I was a comedy "road warrior" for years. Gary still is. We'll have some great stories for you.
Glen is 73 today. At this point in his life, the rhinestone cowboy is more like the kidney stone cowboy.
DUMB CRIMINAL ALERT!!
Wal-Mart employee Remo Spencer of Great Falls, Montana is facing felony charges for stealing iPods and computers from the store in which he worked. It might be hard to believe, but after stealing these items from the store, this dope then posted an ad on the Wal-Mart employee's bulletin board, announcing that he had iPods and computers for sale. Seriously, can you imagine anybody being that stupid. The manager of the store became suspicious, called the the police, the police investigated and Spencer was arrested. Come to find out, I bet Wal-Mart just got mad because they couldn't compete with this guy's low,low, everyday prices.
Finally, if you're looking to live longer, Yahoo News recently surveyed numerous people who lived to be 100, to see if there was something they all had in common. They came up with the following tips:
1.) Never retire.
2.) Floss everyday (gum disease can cause artery inflammation).
3.) Move around a lot.
4.) Eat fiber-rich cereal for breakfast.
5.) Get at least 6 hours of sleep a night.
6.) Get nutrients from whole foods as opposed to supplement pills.
7.) Keep lots of friends and social contacts.
8.) Be less neurotic and find healthy ways like yoga to deal with stress.
9.) Be a creature of habit.
10.) Live like a Seventh Day Adventist. They focus on family and community, and they believe that their body is on loan from God, so they don't eat meat, they don't smoke, they don't drink, and they don't overindulge in sweets. Statistically, they DO live 10 years longer than the average American.
...........or maybe it just seems 10 years longer.
I also believe my body is on loan from God, I'm just not that concerned with getting my damage deposit back.
Eat fiber-rich cereal everyday and you might live to be 100 years.............but you'll spend 50 of them in the bathroom.
Monday, April 20, 2009
A New Sponsor, A 13-Year Old Bank Robber & A Goat
Thursday, April 16, 2009
A Big Turnout For The CMT Camp Nashville Auditions & Another Tax Day Down
Another tax day has come and gone. It's always one of the worst days of the year for me (and a lot of other people, I'm sure). Because of the recession, there were a record number of phone calls this year to the I.R.S. inquiring as to what will happen if they can't pay their taxes. For the first time ever, this year I too, had to call the I.R.S. I got a very nice-sounding woman on the phone. the conversation went like this: I said,
"Is it possible to send you ........say...half of what I owe you .......now...........and then the bablance.....say........by June 15?"
"Sure, that's no problem. Send as much as you can on April 15, and then we'll send you a bill for the balance, and you can pay that whenever you can."
"Gee, it's that's easy. That's terrific, and there's no fee or interest I have to pay with this type of plan?"
"Oh, yes, there's a 2% penalty fee and 4% interest charged on the balance every month until it's paid off completely."
"So, a total of 6% in interest and penalties?"
"Yes"
"Thank you. That's most kind of you."
The I.R.S. commission said the government knows that times are hard, and agents have been given instructions to be more compassionate and try to help people who are strapped and can't pay their total taxes. Well, I must say, she was very nice and very compassionate. However, penalties and interest will accrue.
The good news is if you owe taxes you can't pay, or maybe just refuse to pay, don't worry, you might not go to jail. In fact, there's a good chance you'll be appointed to the OH-bama cabinet.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Coors Light Song Of The Day, Noah's Ark & 101 Portuguese Water Dogs
Keep listening to Thunder for details.
In the "Money To Burn" department, 3 billionaire brothers in Hong Kong have built a replica of Noah's Ark. This has been done before, but this is the only one built the same size as the one in the bible: 450 feet.
UNlike the one in the bible, this one has a rooftop luxury hotel and just 67 pairs of animals and they're made of fiberglass. The builders say they hope it inspires visitors drowning in today's financial flood with the message that "life goes on" (not for the animals....life won't go on for them if they're made of fiberglass). Just like in the biblical flood, life DOES goes on if you were lucky enough to be born in the right family. For the big flood, if you were part of Noah's family, no problem. Any other family, not so good. By the way, this thing in Hong Kong was under construction for 17 years. They don't say why it took so long. Maybe the project kept getting delayed because of rain.The OH-bamas showed off their new Portuguese Water Dog yesterday.
His name is Bo, and he was given to them by Senator Ted Kennedy. Portuguese Water Dogs are excellent swimmers, and if anybody knows about swimming, it's Ted Kennedy. Fans of the Portuguese breed are concerned that this could set off what they call the "one-hundred and one" syndrome. That's when it becomes "in" to own a certain breed of dog, and all of a sudden, everybody goes out and gets one, without really thinking it through very clearly. I've always maintained that most people are followers anyway (go back in the archives and see what I said about American Idol). Basically, what they're saying is that, almost in a frenzy, everybody goes out and gets one of these dogs, even though they know very little about them. Once they have the dog, they start to realize that the dog can actually be nervous, aggressive and not necessarily good with children. In other words, people get excited, make a choice without really knowing what they're getting into, then they're sorry about the decision they made.......................................kind of like the presidential election.Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Tax Day, Loretta Lynn & Phil Spector Guilty
My thanks to Brian Stroble for stopping by the show this morning to talk about HIS new upcoming show here on Thunder. It debuts this Sunday from 1 to 6 P.M. and then can be heard every Sunday thereafter. It's called "30 Years In the Country With Brian Stroble". We're glad to have Brian on the Thunder team with us.
Happy Birthday today to Loretta Lynn today. She is 74. Also celebrating a birthday today is Erich Von Daniken.
Von Daniken wrote the book "Chariots Of The Gods", in which he professes that beings from other planets and solar systems have been visiting us here on earth for thousands and thousands of years. Yeah, he's quite nuts, but at any rate, Happy Birthday to Erich. He is also 74.We're doing something very special this Thursday morning that I hope you'll be a part of. We're looking for someone with the potential of becoming a big star in Nashville, and we will give that person a trip to CMT Camp Nashville, where they will get one-on-one instruction from a Nashville Star. They'll also get to jam with the stars and maybe even open a show. If you're a musician or singer, come to the WAWA on Route 610 in Garrisonville, Thursday morning between 5 A.M to 10 A.M. I'll be out there broadcasting live and you will have the chance to audition on the air. See you there Thursday and good luck!
Tomorrow is Tax Day. If you haven't done so already, make sure you get out and pay your taxes. After all, how do you expect Washington to bail everybody out if YOU don't pay your taxes on time? Uncle Sam wants to get paid. Uncle Sam??? He's more like Tony Soprano. HE WANTS HIS CUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By now, you probably heard, music producer Phil Spector has been found guilty of murder for the shooting of actress Lana Clarkson. This guy's another nut job who has had a reputation for years of pointing guns at people. In fact, during the trial, 5 other women testified that Spector had held them hostage in his house at gunpoint. So, whats going to happen to this guy? He could get 15 years to life. Personally, I would suggest that he get the electric chair, but looking at him, it appears he already sat in it.
Actually, now that I think of it, they should sentence his hair stylist to death too.Thursday, April 9, 2009
Easter Weekend & Global Warming
I love Easter. It's a time to reflect on "The Greatest Story Ever Told"......Barack OH-bama's economic stimulus plan.
Tomorrow morning, Debra Joseph from the Fredericksburg SPCA will join me again. The SPCA is gearing up for that big Chocolate Extravaganza toward the end of the month. We'll tell you all about it tomorrow.
Our thanks to Mary’s Cakery & Candy Kitchen in King George for sending over some DELICIOUS fudge this morning for all of us. It was probably the best I've ever had.
It would appear that President OH-bama has appointed a mad scientist as the new science advisor. John Holdren gave an interview recently to the Associated Press. During the interview, he said, not once but twice, that the global warming threat is like being "in a car with bad brakes, driving toward a cliff..........in the fog". Fear not. He might be able to save us all by using a little "geoengineering". For instance, he said we could build "artificial trees" that suck CO2 out of the atmosphere and store it. Or, he said we could shoot pollution particles into the upper atmosphere to reflect the sun's rays and cool the planet. He added, "We don't have the luxury of taking any approach off the table". This guy sounds like he is COMPLETELY out of his mind!!! I think they added him to the global warming team to make Al Gore look sane.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Chuck Wicks, Jessica Simpson & Al Capone
Despite all of the joking and kidding Kristin Nash and I do about Jessica Simpson, we both really like her. However, her attempt to make it in the country music industry has been one train wreck after another. Today, it was confirmed that the Columbia Nashville and Sony Music Nashville labels have dropped her. Her acting career wasn't exactly a rocket either. All of this leaves us with the question: What's left in the entertainment business for Jessica to try? Kabuki Theatre? I just hope we haven't seen the last of her.
I really, REALLY hope we haven't seen the last of her.If, by chance, you're looking for some real estate in the Chicago area, here's some good news. Al Capone's Chicago home is for sale.
It's a 6-bedroom, brick house, priced at $450,000.00. By today's standards, that's not really a lot of money for a house. However, it is for this particular neighborhood. In fact, it's about twice the average price for similar homes in the same neighborhood. It's a little pricey, but the good news is Geraldo Rivera will come over and tear out any walls for free.The Rev. William Blasingame, former pastor of St. Paul's Memorial Episcopal Church in Staten Island, New York, could face up to 15 years in prison on charges of grand larceny. He is accused of stealing $84,537.00 over 3 years from a fund that was set up to help upkeep the church and help the poor (THIS GUY MISSED HIS CALLING. HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A TELEVANGELIST). The kicker here is: Prosecutors say he spent the money on prescription drugs, plastic surgery and botox injections.
On the plus side, the pastor's mug shots looked FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!Finally, for you parents of teenagers out there who don't have enough to worry about, here's something else. Police and spray cologne makers are warning parents about a dangerous new fad: turning body spray into flame throwers. They hold a lighter in front of the spray to ignite the alcohol in it. Currently, there are about 200 videos of it being done on YouTube. The most popular cologne/flame thrower out there is AXE BODY SPRAY.
AXE BODY SPRAY just posted a video on IT'S website telling customers that AXE should be worn and NOT set on fire.
That's debatable.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
March For Babies, Michael Vick & Chocolate
That's only another season or two in dog years.
I'm always happy to hear good things about a fellow radio guy. Congratulations to morning German radio show host Dominik Schollmayer, who set a world record by staying on the air (without sleep) for 169 hours. He was monitored by doctors the entire time. They said it didn't take too long for sleep deprivation to move in and he started getting a little loopy. But he did it. He was on the air for 169 hours straight without saying anything entertaining, which breaks the record previously held by National Public Radio.
Finally, an influential, government-appointed medical panel released a statement yesterday morning that ALL American teenagers should be tested for depression. Would that be for having it...or causing it?
Monday, April 6, 2009
A Great Weekend, Bob Barker & Good News For Shoplifters
Joining me tomorrow morning will be Bob Alexander, CEO of Pratt Medical, and Chairman of the March of Dimes, March For Babies happening this Saturday. We'll talk about the March For Babies and maybe we'll put Bob through the More's Mystery test, or better yet, maybe we'll pit one of you against Bob in a trivia contest.Finally, it's the book we've all been waiting for. Bob Barker has a "tell-all" book coming out. Is this really necessary? In the book, we'll find out more information then we really needed or wanted. For instance, at one point in his career, Barker was offered a role in a porno movie. After long and careful consideration, he decided to decline the offer, but instead resorted to doing something even MORE disgusting............
...........................HOSTING "THE PRICE IS RIGHT".Thursday, April 2, 2009
Healthy Kids, Bernie's Boats & Cigarettes
Another awkward moment came when OH-bama saw the Queen's enormous hat. He asked her if she was related to the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin. All of this is surprising because this is not the first time OH-bama met a Queen. He used to hang out quite often with Queen Latifah. It's a bad week for smoker's. The biggest cigarette tax EVER, kicked in on yesterday, raising a pack of cigarettes by as much as 65 cents. The anti-smoking fanatics say the increase will discourage smoking while "paying for expanded health insurance for poor children". So, I guess what they're saying is, if you care about children, smoke like chimneys. Another increase and Oh-Bama might have to take over the tobacco industry, just he can afford his cigarettes.
Speaking of smoking, I smoked for years. I just stopped this past December. In fact, it was Christmas Eve. I have some of my listeners to thank for that. We did a show one morning on quitting, and many of you called in to say Chantix was the way to go. So, I tried it and it worked. Even when I smoked, I never defended it. It has to be one of (if not THEE) worst singular thing you can do to your health. HOWEVER, it IS a legal activity. Therefore, if you choose to smoke, you should be allowed to without harassment and persecution. But the anti-smoking nuts out there insist upon controlling your life. They just don't want you or anybody smoking period. First, they tried the scare tactics.....the warnings on the packs of cigarettes, which got more and more ridiculous as time went on and they didn't deter most smokers. Then came the barrage of ominous public service announcements with images of cancer patients, graveyards, coffins and so on. These anti-smoking maniacs apparently never realized that most smokers are highly addicted to nicotine and that these scare tactics, for the most part, wouldn't work. I never understood why these people, who didn't even know me were so concerned about MY health. As I said, I agree smoking is bad for you, but a smoker is only hurting himself or herself. It always seemed to me that if a person was willing to play health Russian Roulette, it's their business. I'm not hurting you. I hurting myself. That's when the anti-smoking loons went to Plan B. They devised the "second-hand smoke" myth to scare other non-smokers to join their battle. I have never bought into the second-hand smoke bit. I don't now, and never will, and I don't care how many doctors they pull out of the woodwork to support their THEORY. Until the day comes when cigarettes are illegal, and that day is coming soon, you should be allowed to smoke in peace. It's YOUR choice. But I will tell you this. I had high cholesterol and a couple of years ago, I went on cholesterol-lowering drugs. When you do this, you need to get your blood checked ever 4 or 5 months, for two reasons. One: To monitor your cholesterol to see if the drugs are working, and Two: To check liver function, because sometimes cholesterol-lowering drugs (statins) could have a bad effect on your liver. I went for a blood test last week, and had a follow-up appointment this afternoon with my doctor to go over the results. This was the first blood test I've had in several months. It's the first one I had since I stopped smoking. Smoking does deplete the HDL cholesterol. That's the GOOD cholesterol. Doctor's like you to have a HDL cholesterol reading HIGHER than 39. Mine never was. It was always below 39. Today, for the first time, I found out that my HDL reading was 68. The doctor said it is definitely attributed to stopping smoking. So, if you're smoking, you probably should think about quitting, but ultimately, the decision should be YOURS.It was also a bad week for Bernie Madoff. By the way, that's a great name for him, Madoff, since he MADOFF with every body's money. Anyway, U.S. Marshalls seized Madoff's $11 million Florida mansion this week, along with all of it's contents, plus his two boats.
He was said to have been EXTREMELY upset about his boats being seized, more so than his house being taken. I guess he was planning on going boating when he gets out of jail in 150 years.Archives
October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010
