This, of course, is a huge embarrassment to the White House and the Secret Service, and I'm sure an investigation is ongoing.

Then, of course, there was that other embarrassing moment that evening, when the D.C. Police were called and told that there were some people in the White House who didn't belong there..............and the police showed up and tasered the OH-bamas.

posted by Denny  # 5:19 PM 0 Comments

and Dierks Bentley is 34

And Happy Birthday today to the world's sexiest Republican. No, not Sarah Palin.

Some trouble this week for former basketball star Dennis Rodman. Rodman was playing in a USA Legends Of Basketball exhibition game in Berlin, Germany. The organizers of the event agreed to pay for Rodman's hotel room, but did NOT agree to pay his bar tab, which totaled $3,500.00. When Rodam left the hotel without paying , the hotel called the police. The German police caught up with him at an airport in Berlin just as he was about to board a plane back home. Rodman eventually agreed to pay the bill, plus an additional $1,700.00 to dismiss possible legal proceedings.

So, he almost made it out of the country, but got snagged at the airport. That doesn't surprise me. It probably takes this guy two hours to go through the metal detectors.

posted by Denny  # 5:01 PM 0 Comments

I guess since he had been drinking, this seemed like a good idea at the time. Unfortunately, one of the doors he knocked on belonged to an off-duty police office, who grabbed his badge and placed Carrazco under arrest. Police report they found a scale, three ounces of pot and a gun in his possession. He was jailed on charges of possession of marijuana and possession of a prohibited weapon. I guess the reason he was carrying a gun is because at that hour, you never know what kind of weirdo is going to come to the door.

I wonder if his "job" was counted among those allegedly saved or created under the OH-bama stimulus.

Here's a classic question of asking the wrong question: Gregory Torrey of Bellingham, Washington was arrested for shoplifting a pencil from a store in Bellingham. Yes, a pencil. In addition, he had an outstanding warrant from the nearby town of Everett, Washington. At the time of his arrest, he was carrying $600.oo in cash .

Police are scratching their heads asking the question, "Why would anybody shoplift a pencil?"

Denny More logic: A better question.............why does a shoplifter need $600.00 in cash?

I'm willing to bet that at one point, he had $700.00 in cash, but he gave $100.00 to a guy selling pot door-to-door.

posted by Denny  # 6:08 PM 0 Comments

This nut case drove almost non-stop from Texas to Florida. How do you drive that distance without stopping to go to the bathroom? She had that all figured out. She was wearing an adult diaper. She was also wearing a wig and a trench coat, and carrying a mallet, a knife, a BB-gun, rubber tubing, duct tape and some plastic garbage bags. The purpose of this trek was to kill the girlfriend of a fellow astronaut Nowak was in love with. The girlfriend was hit with some pepper spray, but managed to escape. Nowak, on the other hand, was caught by police and arrested.

Her case came to court this week. She agreed to plead guilty to burglary and battery. The judge in the case ordered her to stay away from her intended victim, and sentenced her to 2 days in jail, a year's probation, 8 hours of anger management classes, and 50 hours of community service.

This brings up the question: What would be a good community service for her to be assigned to? How about driving a bus for a senior citizen's center......

.......where everyone on board would be wearing diapers.

posted by Denny  # 5:42 PM 0 Comments

Forty-four years ago today was the "Great Blackout", plunging several Northeastern states and parts of Canada into darkness for 14 hours.

Exactly one year later, on this date in 1966, Beatle John Lennon met Yoko Ono at an art exhibit in London.

Dumb criminal this morning: 21 year-old Calvin Hoover of Salem, Idaho, who called 911 over the weekend to report that someone stole his marijuana.

Hoover told the 911 dispatcher that while he was in a bar, someone broke into his truck and stole $400 in cash, a jacket, and about 3/4 of an once of marijuana, valued at about $180.00.

Deputy Ryan Clarke went to the tavern, but was unable to find Hoover. About an hour later, Hoover called 911 again, complaining that the police hadn't shown up. The dispatcher said she had trouble understanding Hoover because he was driving and had to keep stopping to vomit. Police finally caught up with him. He was arrested for driving under the influence of intoxicants.

For you ladies out there, here's the good news: HE'S SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted by Denny  # 7:04 PM 0 Comments

With Republicans winning big time throughout the country, the quote of the day came from House Speaker Nancy (Bela Lugosi) Pelosi, who on Wednesday said (I'm not making this up here),

"From our perspective, we won last night."

It takes a lot of Botox to be able to say that with a straight face.

There's a book out on the market that I definitely want to get a copy of. It's called "Don't Swallow Your Gum". It was written by Dr. Aaron E. Carroll and Dr. Rachel Vreeman. They are both professors of pediatrics at the Indiana University School of Medicine, and the book is available from Amazon.com. The doctors debunk medical myths that are flatly NOT true, but believed by many people. Here are a few samples:

The title of the book comes from the myth that if you swallow your gum, it'll stick to your stomach. Not true.

You may have heard that people use only 10% of their brain. Not true. The doctors say MRIs show that indeed people are using 100% of their brain. (How sad is that?)

Your hair and nails do not keep growing after you die as many people believe.

Sugar does NOT alter a child's behavior and make them hyperactive. The doctors say that's a myth.

(I know a lot of mothers who would say the doctors are nuts)

You might have heard that you should never wake up a sleepwalker because doing so could give that person a stroke or heart attack. Not true.

I've heard this one for years: Eating late at night and then going to bed will cause you to gain weight. Not true.

Remember how your mother used to tell you to always wear a hat in the winter because most of your body heat escapes from the top of your head? Not true.

Here's another one we've all heard: A dog's mouth is cleaner than a humans mouth. Not true.

(I never bought into that one. We've all seen what dog's do with their mouths)

Finally, as a guy who wears a size 8 shoe, I was glad the doctors have determined that, contrary to popular belief, there is absolutely NO correlation between the size of a man's hands or feet and his genitals.

We wrap up with a follow-up to a story we talked about yesterday morning about the guy in Colorado who stabbed himself in order to get out of a day's work at his job at Blockbuster Video. He's 29 year-old Aaron Siebers, who instead of just calling in sick, like anybody else would do, this big dope actually took a knife and stabbed himself on his way to work. Then he went into work and came up with this story about how he was attacked walking to work by three skinheads or Hispanics. Well, which was it, skinheads or Hispanics...........big difference. His boss at Blockbuster called the police. He was taken to a local hospital. When he was released, the police informed him that his story just didn't gel. That's when Siebers admitted that he stabbed himself to get out of work.

Well, the new development is after consideration, police decided to arrest Siebers for making a false report. As this is being written, he is sitting in jail.

The question remains: Why would you stab yourself just to get out of work. I've been thinking about it. I think the REAL reason he stabbed himself is because he's 29 and still working at Blockbuster.

posted by Denny  # 4:40 PM 0 Comments

Makes him feel young???? What does that mean in this guy's case? When he was 90??

"I feel so young..............like I'm 90 all over again!!"

NEXT: Right out of a comedy.............

In China, 25 year-old Sun Meng was having an affair with a married woman when the woman's husband returned home prematurely (I used to HATE when that happened). Naked as the day he was born and panicked, Meng took off out the window where he perched himself on top of an air conditioning unit, all of this happening several stories up. Once he got out there, he was sort of stuck with nowhere to go, forced to listen to the husband yelling abuse at him. But that wasn't the worse part. A neighbor across the street decided to take a picture of this fandango and post it on the Internet.

The strange case of Mary Strey in Wisconsin:

Strey: "I want to report a drunk driver."

911 Dispatcher: "You behind them?"

Strey: "I am them."

911 Dispatcher: "You am them?"

Strey: "Yes, I am them."

You am them? It sounds like the dispatcher was as drunk as Mary. Mary was charged with driving drunk and operating a vehicle with a blood-alcohol level of 0.1 or more.

I wonder if they also gave her a ticket for talking on her cellphone while driving.

But far and away, these two are my favorites. Matthew McNelly and Joe Miller of Carroll, Iowa decided to rob an apartment. But they needed a disguise. They didn't want to use masks. Masks get in the way when you're trying to burglarize a joint. Then it hit them. They would blacken their faces. So far, these guys sound like just a couple of nit wits, but what they did next elevates them to BIG DOPES!!!!!! To blacken their faces, these idiots used a Magic Marker..........PERMANENT MAGIC MARKER. Long story, short: They were caught and arrested on charges of attempted second-degree burglary, and a mugshots are fabulous.

The two have hired attorneys to represent them, but when contacted by the media, the lawyers had no comment. They were probably laughing too hard to comment.

I think in addition to burglary charges, they should also have been arrested for impersonating Al Jolson.

posted by Denny  # 5:28 PM 0 Comments