Monday, November 2, 2009
Black Faces, Drunk Driving & A Cold Day In China
A lot to get to today, so let's get to it.
I promised you a picture of these two this morning.
This is Ahmed Muhamed Dore of Somalia. He's 112 years old. Pictured with him, is his new wife. They were just married last week. Her name is Safia Abdulleh. She's 17 years old. Dore was born in 1897 and has been married five times before. He has 13 children from those previous marriages. His oldest son is 80! Dore says he and his new bride are also planning on having children. Great! She'll be diapering both her kids AND her husband simultaneously. The funniest quote out of all this came from Dore, who when asked about the obvious glaring age difference, said, "It's irrelevant. I love her. She makes me feel young."Makes him feel young???? What does that mean in this guy's case? When he was 90??
"I feel so young..............like I'm 90 all over again!!"
NEXT: Right out of a comedy.............
In China, 25 year-old Sun Meng was having an affair with a married woman when the woman's husband returned home prematurely (I used to HATE when that happened). Naked as the day he was born and panicked, Meng took off out the window where he perched himself on top of an air conditioning unit, all of this happening several stories up. Once he got out there, he was sort of stuck with nowhere to go, forced to listen to the husband yelling abuse at him. But that wasn't the worse part. A neighbor across the street decided to take a picture of this fandango and post it on the Internet.
Meng says this has been terribly humiliating. He said, "People are making fun of how I look naked, but I must point out it was a very cold day".The strange case of Mary Strey in Wisconsin:
Mary went out this past Saturday night and enjoyed 7 or 8 brandy and cokes, got behind the wheel of her car to drive herself home, then decided to call 911 to turn herself in.Strey: "I want to report a drunk driver."
911 Dispatcher: "You behind them?"
Strey: "I am them."
911 Dispatcher: "You am them?"
Strey: "Yes, I am them."
You am them? It sounds like the dispatcher was as drunk as Mary. Mary was charged with driving drunk and operating a vehicle with a blood-alcohol level of 0.1 or more.
I wonder if they also gave her a ticket for talking on her cellphone while driving.
But far and away, these two are my favorites. Matthew McNelly and Joe Miller of Carroll, Iowa decided to rob an apartment. But they needed a disguise. They didn't want to use masks. Masks get in the way when you're trying to burglarize a joint. Then it hit them. They would blacken their faces. So far, these guys sound like just a couple of nit wits, but what they did next elevates them to BIG DOPES!!!!!! To blacken their faces, these idiots used a Magic Marker..........PERMANENT MAGIC MARKER. Long story, short: They were caught and arrested on charges of attempted second-degree burglary, and a mugshots are fabulous.
The two have hired attorneys to represent them, but when contacted by the media, the lawyers had no comment. They were probably laughing too hard to comment.
I think in addition to burglary charges, they should also have been arrested for impersonating Al Jolson.
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