Among some of the things which have happened to me this week (and I mentioned it on the air), Watson The Wonder Dog decided to eat my cell phone. I generally do not watch Dancing With The Stars. It's just not my type of TV programming. However, I have been watching it a bit this season. Two words: Pam Anderson. As Rae and I are sitting and watching the show, Rae gets the idea of calling in a text and voting for Pam. She grabs MY cell phone to do this. When she is finished, she lays the cell phone down on the couch on which we were sitting. About an hour later, I needed my cell phone and couldn't find it. Then, I found it. Watson had gotten a hold of it, and this is what it looked like.

Of course, I had none of my information backed up. I'm a pretty simple guy. I just want to replace my phone with another simple phone. I don't need one that takes pictures. I don't need one that takes videos. I don't need sports scores. I don't need to watch MTV. I don't need a phone that also makes espresso. I just want a simple phone. Easier said than done. In the two years I owned my phone, the technology continued to advance, and now, it's almost impossible to just get a simple phone. The bottom line to all of this is I now have a new phone. I don't know how to use it, but I have a new cell phone. Thank you, Watson.

I know the thought has crossed your mind. It's crossed mine, so let's be honest and just come out and say it.............how the heck did this guy make it to 77???

Some quick news items:

There must be big money in this global warming thing. Al Gore and his wife, Tipper (what's up with that name?), just purchased a house in California for almost $9 million. The house sits on 1.5 acres. It has five bedrooms, nine bathrooms (why does ANYBODY need nine bathrooms?), a swimming pool, a spa, fountains and (get this) SIX FIREPLACES. Don't fireplaces emit smoke and CO2? But here's the best part: The house has an ocean view. An ocean view????!! If he has an ocean view, it must be ocean front property, or at the very least, very close to the ocean. Excuse me, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Al Gore the guy who says that because of global warming, the polar ice caps are melting, and as a result, the land along our coastlines will be swallowed up by the rising oceans?? Apparently, even Al doesn't buy into his own baloney.

But don't worry about Big Al and Tipper living on the California coast. He'll be keeping his private jet running 24 hours a day in his backyard in case they have to quickly flee to one of their other mansions.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is now using the Internet to win back support of the people of his country.

Finally, congratulations to Chris Shaw of Marshall, Missouri, the winner of the largest Powerball Lottery jackpot in the history of Missouri, $258 million.

posted by Denny  # 5:44 PM 0 Comments

The President and Vice President's income tax forms were released late last week. The OH-bama's made $5.5 million last year. They paid $1.8 million in federal taxes and gave $329,000.oo to charity (It's nice to hear he's spreading the wealth around. I know he's big on that).

Comedian Joe Biden and his wife had an adjusted gross income of about $333,000.00 and gave $4,820.00 to charity. Biden's salary was listed as $208,000.00 a year.

Speaking of the powers that be, President OH-bama visited Cape Canaveral last week to discuss his plans for NASA. He's canceling President Bush's plans to return to the moon, saying we've already been there (the old, "been there - done that" thing). Instead, he says he wants astronauts to be able to safely go to an asteroid and learn about deflecting them. Then he wants to go to Mars using a propulsion technology that doesn't exist yet. The price tag for these programs: $6 billion. Actually, it's $6 billion dollars.........plus an additional $45.00............if the astronauts have a carry-on.

Finally, I could talk about the Larry King thing forever. There is so much comedic material here, and most of it writes itself.

This TV fossil is getting divorced for the 8th time. He's getting divorced for the 8th time, but has only had 7 wives. How can that be? He re-married one of his former wives, then divorced her her again. He probably forgot he'd already been married to her. The latest development in this fandango: According to TMZ.com, King was having an affair with his wife's sister. This relic is so old, he probably didn't know it was his wife's sister. He probably thought she was his wife. The sister has come out to deny these rumors. She says the affair story is "ludicrous", and added, "Larry has been like a father to me."

He's like a father to all of us................Father time.

TMZ.com is also reporting that King and his estranges wife got together over the weekend to watch their son play baseball. The two were seen giving each other a hug, and he was overheard saying, "I remember that smell." (referring to her perfume)

Then, all of a sudden, he starting spazzing out and yelling things like: "BOISE, IDAHO, YOU'RE ON THE AIR!!!! WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION????!"

Alright, I made that last part up.

posted by Denny  # 6:43 PM 0 Comments

That's Hughes in the middle.

Hughes says she felt "shocked and betrayed" when she saw the billboard one day while riding in a cab. She says the billboard has tainted her "integrity as an adult entertainer." She added that she is in the process of hiring a attorney to represent her. That might be the hardest part of this case.....finding an lawyer who can say "tainted her integrity as an adult entertainer" with a straight face.

Here's a odd story out of Framington, New York: Richard Dekenipp, a 42 year old is in legal trouble after stealing a vacuum cleaner from a department store, while his children were with him. He stole the vacuum and then, according to the police report, struck a security guard in the parking lot with his car, while his children were in the car. The guard wrote down his license plate and Dekenipp was later arrested at his home.

It's nice to read a story like this about a dad who's taking time to do things with his kids, isn't it?

Finally, as I promised on the air this morning: Tasha Lee Cantrell, a 19 year old, was a passenger in a car when the vehicle's driver was pulled over and arrested for DUI. Since the car was impounded, Cantrell had no way home. She asked Deputy Mitchell Landis if he would drive her home and he agreed. During the ride, Deputy Landis heard Cantrell open a can of some sort in the back seat. Landis stopped the car, and upon investigation, found that Landis was drinking a malt liquor called Steel Reserve, known for it's high alcohol content. Instead of being driven home, Cantrell was arrested for underage drinking and rerouted to the sheriff's office, where she was booked on the misdemeanor charge.

I guess her thinking here was who better to have as a designated driver than a cop.

...and here she is...........Is this the world's happiest mug shot, OR WHAT??!

posted by Denny  # 3:13 PM 0 Comments

Happy Birthday today to Merle Haggard. He's had his share of health problems during the last few years, but he's hanging in there and doing well.

Merle is 73 today.

Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens says he will "surely retire" while President Barack OH-bama is still in office. The 90 year-old leader of the court's liberals made the announcement over the weekend saying he will make a decision soon as to exactly when he will retire.

The guy is 90 years old. He better make a decision REAL soon.

I watched the clip this afternoon of President OH-bama throwing out the ceremonial first pitch at the National's season opener. I noticed when he walked out on the field, a lot of people were cheering, but a lot of people were booing. I have a problem with that. It's no secret that I'm not a big fan of this guy, but regardless, I think you have to have a certain amount of respect for the office of the President. No Unites States President you should ever be booed in this country.

I did make an observation of the event. If you were watching it live, think back, or better yet, go online and take another look at it. Maybe it's me, but did you notice when he threw the ball, it veered to the left?

I invite you to go back into the archives of this blog to the date August 29, 2009. Back then, I told you about a new sandwich Kentuck Fried Chicken was coming out with. I didn't see or hear anybody else talking about it, and a lot of people thought I was kidding about it, but it was and is true. Now, it's official. Starting this Monday, April 12, KFC will start selling the "Double-Down Sandwich". Instead of bread, it consists of bacon, cheese and sauce (they don't say what kind of sauce). In place of the bread, the whole thing is placed between 2 slabs of fried chicken.

I would change that slogan around a little. How about this:

"If you eat enough of these, YOU"LL be so meaty, there'll be no room for YOUR buns."

Anyway, they go on sale starting Monday. Try it. See what you think. And for a limited time only, when you buy this sandwich, you will also receive a coupon for a discounted angioplasty.

posted by Denny  # 6:05 PM 0 Comments