More in the Morning: October 2009

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Heenes, Pills & Pot

A tough More's mystery this morning. It went on for almost an hour. The answer was Nicole Kidman. Many people think she was born in Australia, but she was actually born in Hawaii to Australian parents. She has a duel citizenship with the United States AND Australia.

Another More's Mystery tomorrow, and once again, to the winner, will go a pair of tickets to see Martina McBride and Trace Adkins at the Patriot Center on January 31. Here's a little bit of a tip-off for you. Tomorrow morning, we'll be looking for a fictional character.

Maybe I'm just a pessimist at heart, but I never bought into this whole "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" thing. I'm not necessarily saying that's a good thing. It's just the way I am. Many people are just the opposite. They'll take something awful, or as in the case I'm about to talk about, stupid, and try to make it something positive. Good for them. Case in point:

Out in Colorado, the neighbors of Balloon Boy's parents, The Heenes are talking to the media and telling them how they've taken the whole Balloon Boy incident and turned it into a teaching tool for their kids. One mom says she used the Heene's story to teach her kids, "Don't lie, period." A local dad said he used the Heene's incident to teach his kids that parents should set a good example for their kids and not break laws in front of them. Nor should they expect their kids to lie or break laws. Still another neighbor says the Heene's hoax has helped him teach his kids never to lie to the police.

You know what I learned from The Heenes? I learned that there are some people who, under no circumstances, should NOT be allowed to reproduce.

Don't you hate it when somebody invents something that everybody needs and you say to yourself, "Why didn't I think of that?". Here's a great example: A lot of people have to take pills everyday for a variety of reasons. Maybe they have high cholesterol, or maybe they have acid reflux, whatever it might be. These people will often forget to take their pills, or they get confused......."Did I take my pill today?....or was that yesterday?".

Along comes a company out of Cambridge, Massachusetts, Vitality, Incorporated. They have invented and are marketing a pill bottle that has a built-in alarm.

It sounds an alert when it's time to take your pill. Simple yet brilliant!

Unfortunately, the average person will still be unable to figure out how to open their pill bottle, but hey, one thing at a time.

Finally, speaking of medicine, there has been much debate lately about whether or not medical marijuana should be allowed. Should a doctor be able to legally prescribe marijuana for "medicinal" purposes?

Rasmussen Reports did a telephone survey and found 63% of those surveyed believe it SHOULD be allowed. 24% said it SHOULD NOT.

The remaining 13% were too stoned to answer the phone.

posted by Denny # 5:20 PM 0 Comments

Monday, October 26, 2009

Martina McBride Tickets, Gunfight At The OK Corral & Hula-Hoop Mania

I have some major tickets I'll be giving away starting tomorrow morning. This is the first time I'm giving tickets away at Thunder that I'm tempted to pocket myself. For the rest of the week, I'll be giving away tickets to see the lovely Martina McBride, along with Trace Adkins for January 31.

You can't even buy these tickets yet. They don't go on sale until Friday at 10 A.M., but if you're listening this week, you can win them before you can buy them. The action starts tomorrow morning.

Don't forget, Bring Denny Your Bra is this Thursday evening, 7 P.M to 9 P.M at Mainstreet Grill & Bar. For every bra you bring me, Mainstreet will donate cash to the Virginia Breast Cancer Foundation (the bras will be donated to Goodwill). I really need your help on this. I'm looking forward to seeing you this Thursday. Also joining us will be Dale Cole, who owns Cole Construction Company of Catlett. Dale lost his wife earlier this year to breast cancer, and as a tribute to her, he purchased a limited edition pink Mustang. There were only 333 made exactly like this particular one, and Dale's bringing it out to Mainstreet so we can all get a look at it (weather permitting). Bring your cameras!

Happy Birthday today to Keith Urban.

He is 42 today.

On this day back in 1881, the famous "Gunfight At The OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, Arizona. Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and "Doc" Holliday confronted the Clanton gang. When it was over, three members of the Clanton gang were dead. The whole thing probably took about 30 seconds, but somehow, Kevin Costner managed to make a three-hour movie about it.

Also on this day in 1774, American patriots organized the volunteer militia. They were called The Minute Men. Their wives gave them that name.

Finally, did you see the video of First Lady Michelle OH-bama demonstrating what great shape she's in on the South Lawn of The White House. She was hosting a "Healthy Kids Day", and managed to keep a hula-hoop going for an amazing 142 revolutions.

Pretty impressive...............and I think we all agree, we'd rather see HER doing that than Hilary Clinton. I don't think anybody would want to see that.

By the way, as a result of all of this, President Oh-bama has just introduced a "Free Government-Paid Hula-Hoops For Everyone" program.

posted by Denny # 6:27 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Martinsville Tickets, Texting While Driving & A Little Something Extra With Your Potato Chips.

The Answer to this morning's More's Mystery: Richard Heene, the father of Balloon Boy.

Over the course of the next two days, we will be giving away tickets to the Tums Fast Relief 500 Sprint Cup Race coming up at Martinsville this Sunday. I'll be giving away a pair of tickets tomorrow morning and Friday morning. In addition, the Thunder Road Crew will be out and about both afternoons with more chances to win. They'll be Liberty Pawn & Gold on Route 3 in Fredericksburg tomorrow afternoon and Farmer's Foods on Main Street in Louisa Friday afternoon. Keep listening for details, but get ready to win those tickets starting tomorrow morning!!!!

In the "I Smell A Lawsuit Coming" department: Jack Hines of Havre, Montana, a 66 year-old former laborer and contractor says he was snacking on some Frito-Lay potato chips last week, when he reached into the bag and pulled out a deep-fried mouse. Jared Dougherty, a spokesperson for Frito-Lay, says the claim is "unsubstantiated". He added that a representative of the company has gone out to Montana to retrieve the ban AND the mouse. Hines took a picture of the mouse (which I haven't been able to find online). Dougherty says the photo makes him "very skeptical" that the mouse entered the bag during the manufacturing process. Hines had the bag at home for about two weeks before he opened it, and Frito believes it was sometime during those two weeks that the mouse entered the bag...................................but deep-fried??

Anyway, it's great to know that potato chips now come with a secret prize in the bag.

My vacation last week was hardly a relaxing week off. As many of you know, I have a stage show, a club act that I do and often work on weekends. In October, every weekend, I work Six Flags in Jackson, New Jersey. This particular show is called HYPNOSTERIA. I do eight shows per weekend at a venue called The Showcase Theater. It's a 1,200-seat theater, and I'm proud of the fact that we pack the theater for every show. In fact, the show has been running for ten years! So, the bottom line is I did eighteen shows during vacation (we were open for Columbus Day as well).

I was driving up to Jersey. I had just gotten on to 95 North, right around Stafford Airport, when I looked over at the car to my left and couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was a young lady, maybe around the age of 18 or 19. She was in the car by herself and driving at around the same speed I was, around 65 - 70 miles per hour. I know some people do this all the time, but I've never actually seen it with my own eyes. SHE WAS TEXT MESSAGING WHILE DRIVING!!! I seriously wished I could pull her over to inform her of how stupid she was being, because obviously she was clueless.

The reason I bring this up is because there was a new Rassmussen poll out this morning (which we talked about on the air) showing 91% of adults would approve of banning texting while driving (which I believe they did here in Virginia recently). 30% say it's more dangerous than drinking and driving.

70% said they believe it's even more dangerous than riding in a car being driven by Nick Nolte.

posted by Denny # 5:23 PM 0 Comments

Monday, October 19, 2009

Back From Vacation, Living Longer & Kim Kardashian

Nice to be back after after a week's vacation, but of course, always a little hard to get back into the roll of things. My thanks to Brian Stroble for filling in for me. It was not exactly a restful vacation. As many of you know, I have a stage show I do, and every October, I perform on weekends at Six Flags in Jackson, New Jersey. I do 8 shows per weekend, so over the week, I did 16 shows up there. The weather up north, as it was here in the Fredericksburg area, was awful. There was no snow where I was, but there was snow just a little north of where I was. Parts of Pennsylvania also got snow, one of the earliest snowfalls on record for that area. In addition, you might have heard Sheila Quinn mention this morning that Friday was the coldest on record here in Fredericksburg. So much for global warming.

In medical news, if you're a guy and would like to live longer, here's some advice from the Swedish Institute for Social Research: Marry a well-educated woman. The institute did extensive research, studying over 1.5 million people between the ages of 30 to 59. They discovered that men who marry well-educated women, women who, at the very least have a college degree, on the average, will live 10 years longer than those who marry women not as educated. What did don't know is WHY this is. The theory is that well-educated women are more likely to read important health news and repeat it to their husbands.

So, the good news is you'll live 10 years longer. The bad news is you'll have to spend those 10 years being nagged by your wife about your unhealthy lifestyle.

I don't think I buy into any of this. David Letterman married a well-educated woman, and I'm willing to bet he won't be living much longer.

Finally, for you Kim Kardashian fans: Kim has a new swimsuit calendar out. There are 16 photos in it. Apparently Kim thinks there are 16 months in a year.

Smart as a whip, that Kim Kardashian.

posted by Denny # 6:37 PM 0 Comments

Friday, October 9, 2009

Vacation (with a correction), A Really Big Pumpkin & Al- Qaeda Recruiting

Okay, let's wrap this up for the week so I can kick off vacation.

First, a correction to an earlier entry. I mentioned this week that Braden Smith would be filling in for me next week. I was wrong. It's the Dean of Fredericksburg radio filling in for me, Brian Stroble. Brian is certainly no stranger to Morning radio here in the community, and I am sure he will take excellent care of you.

Congratulations to math teacher Christy Harp of Jackson Township, Ohio.

She won $2,500.00 and is the new world's record holder for growing thee largest pumpkin. This monstrosity weighs in at 1,725 pounds.

The record for the largest PAIR of pumpkins is still held by Dolly Parton.

Some very disturbing news today:

Al-Qaeda is reportedly recruiting here in the United States. It sounds like they're pretty serious about it too. Supposedly, if you sign up now, for a limited time only, they're going to throw in a pair of Hanna Montana tickets.
Finally, some major science news today. NASA sent up, basically a bomb to the moon, a used-up spacecraft, slamming it into the South Pole of the moon. The idea here is kick up a plumb of lunar dirt and then check it to see if there's any water or ice spraying up. As of this afternoon, the bad news is they didn't find any water or ice. The good news is they DID find Jimmy Hoffa.

Have a good time with Brian. I'll talk to you in a week.

posted by Denny # 5:52 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A Clean Garage, A Light Flight & Top Movies

The answer to More's Mystery this morning: David Carradine.

The answer to our trivia question: Lyndon Baines Johnson, his wife, his two daughters, and yes, even his dog, all had the same initials. I guess that was his way of keeping it a one-suitcase family.

We've mentioned several times that the Fredericksburg SPCA is this area's ONLY no-kill animal shelter. We've also mentioned that they rely solely of our donations to survive and maintain their operating budget. I realize not everyone these days can make a cash donation, what with the economy being what it is. But here's a way you can help out the animals without making a cash donation. The Fredericksburg SPCA is holding their annual Fall Yard Sale. Why not take a few hours out and clean out that garage, attic or basement (you know you've been being to anyway), and take those items you're no longer using and donate them to the yard sale. You can drop off your items this weekend Saturday from 10 A.M. to 3 P.M and Sunday from 12 Noon until 3 P.M. at 1340 Central Park Boulevard, Suite 102. Remember, the yard sale itself is set for NEXT Saturday, October 17, and for you yard sale fans, it's always a biggie.

Happy Birthday today to the great Colonel Oliver North.

Ollie is 66 today.

Also, Happy Birthday today to John Mellencamp...........or John Cougar..........or John Cougar Mellencamp.......whatever name he's using this week.

This guy has more names than I have ex-wives.

Before you hop aboard a flight on Japanese airline Nippon Airways, you'd better not drink too much water. First of all, all passengers will be REQUIRED to use the bathroom in the airport first. The idea here is passengers will be lighter after visiting the bathroom and therefore lighter to carry. Therefore, less fuel is required.

In the words of the great Billy Mays, BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!! In addition, once on board, each passenger will be limited to one visit to the bathroom during the flight. I wonder who the lucky person is who gets to keep track of this. It's another way of saving fuel. At 30,000 feet, a single flush uses one litre of fuel. This is just nuts, isn't it? How far are they going to go with this? Are they also going to demand that you trim your fingernails, blow your nose and clean out your ear wax too?

I blame all of this on Al Gore. Not for any particular reason. I just blame EVERYTHING on Al Gore.

In looking for stuff to write about for this entry, I ran across the top movie money-makers this past week. I won't bore you with the whole top ten list, but a few interesting little notes.

#8 on the list is Capitalism: A Love Story, Michael Moore's latest propaganda film. Last week alone, it brought in $4.5 million. Not bad for a guy who hates capitalism.

#2 was Cloudy with A Chance Of Meatballs, bringing in over $15 million last week.

#1 on the list: Zombieland

What's with the titles of these movies?? Cloudy With A chance Of Meatballs????

It sounds like the lab results of Tony Soprano's urine sample.

posted by Denny # 4:17 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Powell's Furniture, Letterman & Chaos at KFC

The answer to More's Mystery this morning: George Carlin.

Braden Smith will be out and about again this weekend. He'll be out stylin' & profilin' at Powell's Furniture on Route 3 in Fredericksburg this Saturday from High Noon 'til 3. Stop by and have some fun with Braden.

In the "It Might Be Time To Switch To A Decaf" department:

This is one of those stories I hate to hear about because it's one of those things that could happen to any of us. It's the old "being in the wrong place at the wrong time" type of thing. Authorities say a couple at a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Norwell, Massachusettes were upset because their order was taking so long. So, they started yelling profanities at the workers. There was a man also in line who asked that they stop cursing because he had his kids with him. His request was met with a beating by the couple. Thirty-one year-old Jared Garagna punched the man in the head, while his girlfriend, twenty-four year-old Sara Mohn kicked him. KFC employees called police. Mohn was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (her shoe?). Garfagna was charged with assault and battery.

Summary: So, they order some fried chicken. It's taking too long. These 2 dopes start yelling out profanities. A man in line with his kids says, "Can you please stop cursing. I have my kids with me." So, the couple beats him up. All this happening at a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Norwell, Massachusettes. I have a feeling the couple was pretty fried as well.

I would love to have watched and listened to all of this from a safe distance. All the cursing............plus all the talk about legs and thighs probably made it all sound even dirtier.

The Letterman saga continues. Last nigh, Letterman apologized to his wife on the air. I'm sure that was her idea, part of his punishment. I'm sure you know by now that Letterman has admitted to having affairs with some female staffers. When a CBS producer found out about it (he's the ex-boyfriend of one of the staffers), he tried blackmailing Letterman. A sting operation was set up and the man was arrested after he accepted a fake check from Letterman for $2 million . The man's lawyer says his client is innocent (Gee, that's something you don't see very often. A lawyer who says his client is innocent). He says as a CBS producer, he has covered dozens of stories about extortion and blackmailing plots and would never be dumb enough to take a fake $2 million check for hush money.

Yeah, I agree. No one at CBS would be so dumb as to risk their career on a phony piece of paper.

Oh, wait a minute...............................there was that one time.................

posted by Denny # 6:31 PM 0 Comments

Monday, October 5, 2009

Vacation, The Final Word On Michael Jackson & Bad Penmanship

A programming note: I will be off on vacation next week. Filling in for me once again, my good buddy Braden Smith.

The final autopsy report on Michael Jackson was released on Friday. Contrary to rumors that he was too frail to perform, the coroner says he was "normal weight".

Normal weight for what, a praying mantis??

The coroner also says that aside from a little arthritis, some damaged lungs, and a number of scars (probably from plastic surgery), Jackson was in fairly good health for a 50 year-old man (I guess he means except for that whole dying thing. He's dead, but other than that, fairly healthy).

It doesn't surprise me that his lungs were damaged.

With that non-existent nose of his, he probably couldn't get any air in them.

DUMB CRIMINAL ALERT!!!!

A woman in Hillsboro, Oregon tried to rob a Wells Fargo bank Branch by handing the teller a note which read, "Need $300 or I'll kill you. I'm serious." Unfortunately, her penmanship was so bad, the teller couldn't read the woman's handwriting. You know how banks have those little desk/counter areas where customers can fill out deposit and withdrawal slips and so on? Well, our dumb bank robber took her note back and walked over to the counter to re-write it. Meanwhile, the teller hit the silent alarm. The police came and arrested her, and here's a surprise, the police say she was under the influence of drugs.

I suspect it's easy to get prescription drugs when you have handwriting as bad as a doctor's.

posted by Denny # 6:42 PM 0 Comments

Friday, October 2, 2009

Wings, Wheels & Ducks, The Wisconsin Tourism Federation & Revenge Through Goldfish

Once again, Thunder brings you Wings, Wheels & Ducks tomorrow at Stafford Regional Airport. This is truly a fun-filled day for the entire family. I attended my first Wings, Wheels & Ducks last year. I was out there with Braden Smith and our Child Boss. Rae was with me along with Watson The Wonder Dog. We had a great time and you will too when you stop by tomorrow

Happy Birthday today to actress Lorraine Bracco who played Dr. Melfi from The Sopranos and Karen Hill in Goodfellas.

She is 55 today.

My thanks to Shelia Quinn, who did this story this morning and brought it to our attention:

The Wisconsin Tourism Federation has decided to change their name because of their initials. Years ago, the letters WTF didn't mean anything, but in this Internet world we live in today, the letters WTF have a very definite meaning online. Now, either you know what I'm talking about or you don't. I can't go into much more detail than that. I suspect most of you know what I'm talking about . A spokesperson for the agency said, "We have changed our name to the Tourism Federation of Wisconsin. We didn't want the initials WTF to detract from our mission."

Personally, I think they should have left it the way it was, the WTF, Wisconsin Tourism Federation. I think it could have led to a nice state slogan.....

"LET'S VISIT WISCONSIN, WTF!!!"

Here's a fun little story out of Houston, Texas. Authorities there say a woman was so mad at her former common-law husband, she fried up his pet goldfish and ate them. Police spokesperson Vance Mitchell says this is a civil matter and no charges will be filed. The police report says the two had argued early in the day about some jewelry the man had given her, but then had taken back. She wanted the jewelry returned. The man called police to report that the woman took his goldfish from his apartment. Officers who were dispatched to the woman's home arrived to find four fried goldfish on a plate on the dinner table. The woman told police she already ate the other three.

Where's Foxworthy when you need him? Come on, all together now. YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF YOU FRY UP YOUR FORMER COMMON-LAW HUSBAND'S GOLDFISH AND EAT THEM.

No wonder he left her. She's a lousy cook.

posted by Denny # 5:51 PM 0 Comments

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Braden At The Fair, Derek Jeter & The World's Best Lovers

The answer to More's Mystery this morning: Desperate Housewives. We'll have another More's Mystery tomorrow morning, and again, I think it should be a fairly easy one. We'll be looking for a person.

Braden Smith will be taking his show on the road tomorrow. He'll be out broadcasting live at the State Fair of Virginia. Following Braden's broadcast, Randy Houser will take the stage. Stop out and join in on the fun.

Happy Birthday today to former President Jimmy ("I'll never lie to you") Carter. He is 85 today.

New York Yankee star Derek Jeter continues to receive ovations wherever The Bronx Bombers travel to, in the wake of his recent career milestone. Jeter passed Lou Gehrig on the all-time number of hits. However, the person from New York who REALLY had the most career hits..........................

........John Gotti

We were talking about this during this morning's show. Some very interesting polling results from OnePoll.com. They polled 15,000 women worldwide to try to find out who made the greatest lovers. Top of the list, SURVEY SAYS: Brazilian men. Italian men came in second. Topping the list of the worst lovers, SURVEY SAYS: German men because they're "too smelly". Coming in second on the "worst" list were English men because they're "too lazy", followed by Swedish men because they're "too quick." Women also said Dutch men were "too rough", American men were "too dominating", Greek men were "too soppy" (I don't even know what that means), Scots were "too loud, Turks were "too sweaty", Welsh men were "too selfish" and Russian men were "too hairy".

So, let's summarize, shall we? Women don't like men who are smelly, lazy, quick, rough, dominating, soppy, loud, sweaty, selfish and hairy. I'm starting to see now why in my single, dating days, I didn't "score" much.

Here's what I don't understand: If women don't like men who are smelly, lazy, quick, rough, dominating, soppy, loud, sweaty, selfish and hairy, how do you explain the whole Tommy Lee thing?

posted by Denny # 7:30 PM 0 Comments