More in the Morning: February 2010

Monday, February 22, 2010

Trudeau, Woods & Newlyweds

The 5 local couples have been chosen and it's all systems go for the "Not-So-Newlywed" game slated for the Spotsylvania Towne Center this Sunday afternoon at 2 P.M. If you'd like to be part of our audience, all you have to do is show up. It's absolutely free and I guarantee some laughs.

Our thanks to everybody over at Encore Home Gallery, New & Consignment Furniture (who bring you "Walk Down Music Row" every morning with Kristin Nash). They had us there this past weekend for their grand opening and it was a spectacular event. We also want to thank all of you who showed up to be a part of it. Congratulations to Jill Thompson of Fredericksburg, who won those Martina McBride tickets!

Tomorrow is a big day for TV huckster Kevin Trudeau. He could be going to jail. He is scheduled to appear in court tomorrow on a criminal contempt charge. Before we go any further, if case you don't know who Kevin Trudeau is, let me refresh your memory. Did you ever get up to go to the bathroom around 2 or 3 in the morning, and maybe flip the TV on for a few minutes? Well, Trudeau is the guy who is on EVERY channel.

Talk about a guy who is COMPLETELY full of baloney, this would be him. Over the years, he's been on TV selling cancer cures, wrinkle remover, and of course, his books, "Weight Loss Cures They Don't Want You To Know About", Debt Cures They don't Want You To Know About", and his biggie, "Natural Cures They Don't Want You To Know About". The latter is full of such gems as, "The sun doesn't cause skin cancer. Sunscreen does". What a theory this is, huh?

In 2004, the Federal Trade Commission won a $37 million judgement against him for misrepresenting the contents of his "weight loss" book. He has yet to pay a penny of it, and stated in a public interview that he will not. Hence, his court appearance tomorrow. If he does go to jail, it won't be the first time. In the past, he has done jail time for larceny and credit card fraud. But guys like Kevin Trudeau never quit. If he does go to jail, don't be surprised if, soon afterwards, he'll come out with another book, "Prison Secrets They Don't Want You To Know About".

Finally, Tiger Woods made his big Mea Culpa speech Friday morning. What was probably more entertaining is what happened after Tiger's statement. The world's most annoying attorney, Gloria Allred, also held a press conference to announce she is now representing Josyln James, a former porno star who had an affair with Mr. Woods (a more fitting name would be Mr. Wood).

Gloria Allred has found a way to creep herself into every high-profile case in this country in the last 20 years, including the O.J. Simpson trial, the Scott Peterson trail, the Paula Jones-Bill Clinton fiasco, and the list goes on and on. She will do whatever it takes to get publicity and her face on TV. Now, she's representing this porno star. Allred says her client was very dissatisfied with Tiger's statement, and adds that her client deserves a personal apology for the unwanted attention he brought her......because, as we all know, porn stars HATE attention....and, of course, the last thing a porn star needs is a bad reputation. Allred insists they're not looking for money. All her client wants is an apology. It's a little hard to believe. Who goes out and hires an attorney to get a apology?

Meanwhile, Tiger Woods says he has received thousands of e-mails of encouragement from his fans and supporters. Of course, most of them have names like Jasmine.....Destiny.....Cinnamon......Barbie..........Bubbles........

posted by Denny # 4:58 PM 0 Comments

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Live Remote, The Return Of Tiger & King Tut

While Rae watches "Sex & The City" for the 500th time, I thought I sit down and do a little blogging.

Do you remember where you were when the verdict in the O.J. Simpson trial came down? If you're old enough to have been around, and it wasn't all that long ago, then you probably remember where you were. It was one of those events in which the whole world seemed to stop for a few minutes. I was in a bar (shocker) with wife #2. We were having lunch at a place called the Ivy League in Howell, New Jersey. The place was PACKED, much more so than it normally would be on a weekday at that time. There were about 10 TVs on in the place, and when the verdict was read, despite the fact that there were about 200 people in the place, you could hear the proverbial pin drop. The bartenders stopped serving. The waitresses froze in their place. The customers stopped eating.

The reason I bring this up is I have a feeling we might see a very similar moment tomorrow morning at 11 o'clock, when Tiger Woods breaks his silence and apologizes to his fans and reveals his future plans. We are told he will speak for only 5 minutes and reporters will not be allowed to ask any questions (not exactly my idea of a press conference). Five minutes is not a lot of time. In his case, that isn't enough time to give a shout-out to each one of his mistresses. But....it should be interesting and we're all just hours away from it.

Here's a preview of one of the clues for tomorrow's More's Mystery, when we look for a person in show business: Two years ago, this person was arrested by the California State Highway Patrol for driving under the influence. Yeah, I know. In Hollywood, that's a pretty long list, but we'll narrow it down a little more tomorrow morning.

I haven't done a live remote broadcast in awhile, but I have one coming up this Saturday. I'll be out broadcasting live from the grand opening of Encore Home Gallery, New & Consignment Furniture on Cowan Boulevard in Central Park. I'll be out there from 12 Noon until 3 and, as usual, you're invited to stop by and say, "Hi", and enjoy the festivities. There'll be free seated massages from Massage Matters, free wine tastings (YEAH!) from Total Wine, and we'll also have free food for you from Camille's Sidewalk Cafe. I also have one more pair of tickets to give away to see Martina McBride & Trace Adkins at Richmond Coliseum next month. All you need to do is stop by anytime between 12 Noon to 3 and drop you name in the bowl. No purchase necessary. See you there!

Happy Birthday today to Juice Newton. The Juicester is 58 today. And Happy Birthday to the lovely Vanna White.

Vanna claims to be 53 today.

Have you been following this whole King Tut thing? Pretty interesting stuff. After 2 years of DNA tests and CT scans on King Tut's 3,300-year-old mummy and 15 others, including some other members of his family, scientists believe they finally know how he died. They think malaria might have killed King Tut.

However, there are a couple of other possibilities they haven't been completely ruled out. One, is the possibility of an accident caused by texting while camel-riding.

The other possibility that hasn't completely been ruled out: He was allergic to gold.

posted by Denny # 5:46 PM 0 Comments

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Another Day Off For The Feds, Annoying Co-Workers & No More Drills

It was another day off for most area school kids again today, as our cancellations marathon continues in the mornings. Not only that, but it was an unprecedented third straight day off for federal government offices in D.C. Only essential government workers had to show up to their offices today (of course, the tricky part there is actually finding an ESSENTIAL government worker). I've got to laugh at the news reports that keep telling us that it costs taxpayers $100 million a day for everyday the federal government is closed in D.C. The way I see it, keeping the federal government open would cost taxpayers $100 BILLION a day, so we're actually making a profit on the snow.

Opinium Research conducted a survey asking office workers what they find to be the most annoying things about working in an office. Number one on the list was grumpy co-workers. Second on the list was computer crashes, followed by co-workers who gossip in the workplace. Fourth on the list was the over-usage of "office cliches", like "think outside the box". Next was people talking too loudly on the phone, be it an office phone or their private cell phone. Rounding out the list were poor office toilet etiquette (I'm not even sure what that means, and I don't think I want to know) and too much health and safety in the workplace (I don't get that one either).

Personally, I would put computer crashes on top as number one on my list. I HATE when an office computer crashes. I can never find that same porn site again.

Alright, let's be honest. Nobody likes going to the dentist. Let's face it, it's just not an enjoyable experience. I've never known anyone in my life who enjoys going to the dentist. Well........except for Bill Murray in Little Shop of Horrors. What's the worst part of going to the dentist? The drill!!! Even if you don't feel the pain of it, just the noise alone is enough to make your skin crawl. Well, there was some possible good news today out of Germany. A company called DMG has come up with a new product, which they say could make the dental drill obsolete. It's an acid gel called "Icon". It's applied to the tooth with a syringe. Then a little rubber collar is placed around the tooth to protect the other teeth while the acid eats through the enamel to the cavity. The dentist then cleans out the hole with ethanol and fills it with a fast-drying resin. DMG's press release say the whole process takes about 15 minutes.

Of course, it could take a lot longer if you add in the time it takes for your dentist to talk you into letting him put acid in your mouth.

On the plus side.....if you agree to do this and if the dentist accidentally spills some of the acid on your face, you can then go on to earn big money playing the lead in "Phantom of the Opera".

posted by Denny # 5:37 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Snowballs, Martina Tickets & More Fun With Global Warming

This has to be my favorite news story of the week, although few news outlets reported the whole story. President OH-bama was scheduled to give a press conference this past Monday to announce the formation of a new government agency (just what we need) to study GLOBAL WARMING. However, the press conference had to be cancelled because all federal offices were closed on Monday because of blizzard #1 which came through over the weekend.

Ya got it? They had to cancel the global warming press conference because of a blizzard.

Considering the weather we've been having lately, I'd like to see them form an agency to study how we can expedite global warming.

If you think about it though, doesn't this all make perfect sense? We have a Department of Education, but nobody gets educated anymore. We have a Department of Labor, but nobody has a job anymore. So...........hey.......why not launch a Global Warming Department during a blizzard?

Another Valentine's Day Prize Pack going out tomorrow morning. This is your chance to win a pair of tickets to see Martina McBride & Trace Adkins next month in Richmond, plus a dozen long-stemmed red roses from Bloomers Florist, plus a $25.00 gift card from Grapes Of Taste Wine Shop. Be listening for your chance to call in and win in the 6 o'clock hour.

Sheila Quinn mentioned this story this morning: Two James Madison University students in Harrisonburg were arrested and charged with Felony Snowball Throwing (is there really such a law?). First, they threw snowballs at a city snowplow.

OH, MY GOODNESS!!! ARE THESE GUYS CRAZY?????? DON'T THEY REALIZE HOW MUCH DAMAGE A SNOWBALL CAN DO TO A SNOWPLOW???

It's gets better. The driver of the snowplow called the Harrisonburg police. When they showed up in an unmarked car, these two dopes threw snowballs at them.

This whole thing is actually more serious than you might think. They could wind up having to each pay a $2,500.00 fine and they could each go to jail for up to five years (seriously). So, the lesson here: Don't throw snowballs...........especially at police cars.

Finally, http://www.tmz.com/ is reporting about a modern-day Robin Hood in Finland, who robbed a bank of $6,800.00, using a bow & arrow. Who robs a bank with a bow & arrow?

Here's the best part of the story. The police don't have a clue to the thief's identity........not even a gender. Witnesses say the robber was dressed like a woman and had breasts, but talked and sounded like a man. So, the police just aren't sure if the culprit is male or female.

Sounds to me like it could be Lady Gaga.

posted by Denny # 5:55 PM 0 Comments

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Major Storm, Gitmo Prisoners & Exploding Implants

As you know by now, a major winter storm is headed this way. They're saying it could be one of the top ten worse storms to EVER hit the area. Tomorrow morning, and in fact, throughout the weekend, we'll keep you posted on the latest cancellation and postponements. But, in addition, as usual, we'll give away another Valentine's Day Prize Pack, and we'll play More's Mystery and give you another chance to win tickets to the Greater Richmond Boat Show, which has now been postponed until MARCH 4, 5 & 6.

The Fredericksburg SPCA's Chocolate Extravaganza which was scheduled for this weekend has also been postponed. It will now be held NEXT weekend. We'll talk about it tomorrow morning at around 8:30 when Debra Joseph joins me.

Here's a passing thought I had: I still haven't heard a definitive answer to the question WHERE WILL WE PUT THE GITMO PRISONERS WHEN THEY CLOSE IT UP?

How about sending all of them to Gilligan's Island?
Nobody ever gets off that thing.

Happy birthday today to Clint Black. He's 48 today.

Some very disturbing news today from a British Intelligence agency. They're saying the next terrorist threat could be exploding breast implants (No, I'm NOT making this up). According to the report, Muslin doctors trained in the west are returning to the Middle East, where they are giving female al-Qaeda suicide bombers breast implants filled with liquid explosives powerful enough to bring down a plane. Plastic surgeons say such implants would be almost impossible to spot without highly sophisticated x-ray equipment.

I'll bet there'll be no shortage of airport security guards willing to do the pat-down on this one, huh?

.....and you think the security line moves slowly NOW!

posted by Denny # 6:36 PM 0 Comments