Friday, March 6, 2009
Short Pump, Growing Teeth & The Crazy Lady At The Funeral
Rae said, "It's going to be a really nice weekend. We should do something......go somewhere."
"OK, where do you want to go?"
"Short Pump Town Center"
This can't be good.
Don't forget, Daylight Savings Time begins this Sunday morning. Just what I need, one hour less of sleep a night. Don't forget to set that clock ahead tomorrow night before you go to bed.
I have two quick stories for you that we didn't get to today.
If you're looking for a wild closing act to your funeral, you might want to hire this young lady.
Her name is Nicole Marie Loretta. She's 25 years old, and apparently completely out of her mind. A family in Candler, North Carolina, was holding a funeral for their uncle at the Church of God. Suddenly, out of the blue, in comes Ms. Loretta. She was not a friend or a relative of the deceased. In fact, the family had never seen her before. She got up in front of the coffin and started dancing. Then, she pulled out a magic wand and started waving it all around the coffin. Wait, it's gets better. Next, she opened the lid of the coffin and laid her hands on the dead man's head. Then she started hitting the man's body with her magic wand. For a grand finale, she pulled flowers off the casket and threw them at the family. She then left as quickly as she entered and took off in a Toyota. Someone called the police. They caught up with her down the road and arrested her. She was charged with disorderly conduct and disturbing a funeral. When asked why she did what she did, she told the police that she "felt it was the right thing to do at the time." Hey, the way I see it...........NOBODY ELSE WAS DOING ANYTHING TO TRY TO WAKE THE GUY UP!!!!! Oh, sure, the family wants to press charges now......but if it had WORKED.........................I am asked from time to time if these off-the-wall news stories I share with you are real or am I just making them up. They're real. All of them can be verified. Now, admittedly, sometimes I'll throw in a little twist of my own at the end of the story, in a sometimes meager attempt to make the story even funnier or sicker than it already is. For instance, in this last story (which I already mentioned in a previous blog entry), see if you can spot where the real story ends, and where I've sort of enhanced it a bit.
Geneticists at New York's University of Rochester are working on a way to help people replace lost teeth by growing new ones. They discovered that a single gene is responsible for suppressing the growth of new teeth. Sharks don't have it, so they grow multiple rows of teeth as backups. They bred lab mice that had the same type of gene as sharks, and found they developed extra sets of molars. A spokesperson for the university said, "It's exciting. We've got a clue what to do to switch the tooth-growing process back for adults who've lost teeth." Scientists warn, however, that there is a danger here. If they turn the gene on and are unable to turn it off, you could wind up looking like Gary Busey.
http://wcbstv.com/health/genes.teeth.growth.2.944915.html
Have a good weekend!
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