Monday, October 27, 2008
How To Lower Your Blood Pressure
The answer to this morning's Quote Quiz: The great Charlton Heston said, "Political correctness is tyranny with manners".
Tomorrow's quiz comes in the form of a trivia question and it's about a bodily function.
Speaking of which, I've received a lot of e-mails regarding the results of the study we talked about this morning about passing gas. I know a lot of you think I make these things up, but I don't. There really was a study done which determined that passing gas helps to lower and regulate your blood pressure. Many of you asked me WHO conducted this study. Honestly,I don't know because the report didn't make that clear. WHO conducted the study?? I don't know. My guess is Taco Bell. Anyway, the good news is passing gas could lower your blood pressure. The bad news is it could end up raising the blood pressure of anyone who has to live with you.
Speaking of high blood pressure, Manuel Uribe (pictured above), the world's fattest man according to the 2007 Guinness Book of World Records got married yesterday. He's been on a diet and lost 570 pounds. He's now down to a very slim 790 pounds. He hasn't been out of his bed in 6 years. He (still in bed) had to be brought to the church on a flat-bed truck. He had to be carried to the alter by crane (I suspect he also needed the crane for his honeymoon). Uribe hails from Mexico and at the reception, they whacked a pinata and canned hams fell out.
Alright, alright.....I made that last part up. But, hey, congratulations to The Uribes.
Join me tomorrow morning. We'll talk about Ralph Nader, who set a world's record himself on Saturday for delivering the most campaign speeches in one day........just when you thought this campaign couldn't possible get more agonizing than it already is.
Watson the Wonder Dog gets neutered in 2 days.
Don't forget our "Pet-O-Ween" at Safford Dodge this Friday evening from 6 to 8.
...and this just in: ACORN has just registered another 2,000 voters....all under the name Steve Urkel.
posted by Denny # 3:05 PM 
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