More in the Morning: June 2010

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Wrapping Up Some Loose Ends, The End Of The World & Not A Leg To Stand On

I will be off this upcoming week. Brian Stroble will be filling in for me.

I do want to thank everybody who came out to Flip Flop Friday this week in Colonial Beach. It was another great party, and again, our thanks to our good friends at Corona Light and Corona Extra................and of course, thanks to Dawn and Stephanie, the Corona babes!!

Also, thanks to everybody who came out to my live broadcast this afternoon at the grand opening of Chancellor Tire & Auto. This was one of the most fun and most successful remotes I've ever done. The folks at Chancellor know how to do it up. We drew a huge crowd. In fact, we went through more than 350 hot dogs in about 2 hours. Thanks again to all of you for stopping by.

There was a story out of New York City about 4 years ago that made national news. Some of you might remember it.

Twenty-two year-old Dustin Dibble had been on a drinking binge when he decided to take the subway home at around 1:30 in the morning on April 23, 2006. It would later be discovered that his blood-alcohol level was 0.18 - twice the legal driving limit. There he was, standing on the subway platform waiting for the train. He was so bombed, he lost his equilibrium. He fell off the platform and was run over by the train. Unfortunately for Dibble, he lost his leg in the accident.

Here's where it starts to get a little nuts. Despite the fact that Dibble was smashed, he turned around and sued the MTA (Metropolitan Transportation Authority) for negligence. Incredibly (or maybe not so incredibly), he won the case and the jury awarded him $2.3 million.

This is very reminiscent of the well-known case in which a woman ordered a cup of hot coffee from McDonalds, spilled it on herself, then turned around and sued the fast-food restaurant and was awarded millions of dollars. Most people have heard that story. What a lot of people don't know, is that the award was appealed, and although the woman did get a lot of money, it wasn't millions.

This Dustin Dibble case is very similar. There was no negligence on the part of the MTA. Dibble was rip-roaring drunk. Subsequently he fell off the platform. It was proven that the driver of the train reacted as quickly as possible. Everybody knows that you can't stop a train on a dime.

Here's the good news: On Wednesday of this week, a state appeals court threw the ENTIRE case OUT. Dibble gets nothing. The case was thrown out based on "impermissible speculation and insufficient evidence".

So, every once in awhile, common sense prevails, and now it won't cost the taxpayers of New York and arm and a leg.

In this guy's defense, I will say this: If my name was Dustin Dibble, I'd probably walk around drunk most of the time too.

On a more upbeat note..........

Frank Fenner, a microbiology professor and a top scientist in Australia, credited with helping to wipe out smallpox, says the human race will be extinct in 100 years.

The professor says, "In one hundred years, we're going to become extinct. The world's population will reach 6.9 billion by the end of 2010, and the race simple can't survive. More people means fewer resources. There will be a lot more wars and they'll all be over food."

I'm not all that worried about this. If there is any battle the U.S. will not lose, it's a fight over a meal.

Talk to you in a week.

posted by Denny # 5:20 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

American Ninja, Vassar & Raging Bull

I just got some great news. I've just been given some additional Phil Vassar tickets to give away tomorrow morning (in addition to the pair I already had).

Phil will be at Celebrate Virginia this Friday night. I'll give two of those tickets away when we play More's Mystery a little after our 7 A.M. news. I always appreciate when you take the time to read this blog, and to show my appreciation, I'm going to give you the first two clues to tomorrow's mystery right here.

We'll be looking for a physical activity.

1.) This activity requires heat.

2.) Although nobody knows for sure when and where this activity began, it is believed that it started in China.

I'll give you clue #3 tomorrow morning.

Earlier this week, 50 year-old California construction worker Gary Brooks Faulkner was detained in a remote mountain area of Pakistan, once rumored to be a hiding place of Osama Bin Laden. He entered Pakistan as a tourist, but allegedly planned to kill Osama. He was quickly dubbed "American Ninja". His brother has been talking to the media. He says his brother is not crazy, just extremely patriotic. He doesn't even care about the $25 million reward being offered for Osama. He just doesn't want to see Bin Laden get away with 9-11. Faulkner's brother said, "Gary doesn't rob banks. He doesn't go around shooting people. He's not a terrorist, and again, he's not crazy".

I appreciate this guy's patriotism. I really do, but doesn't entering Pakistan as a tourist automatically qualify you as "crazy"?

By now, you've probably seen the video that's been making the Internet rounds of Matador Christian Hernandez, who should probably be looking for another line of work. Hernandez was badly gored in a bullfight several months ago, and this past Sunday, he decided he was ready for a comeback. He stepped into the bullfighting ring at Plaza Mexico in Mexico City, but the first time the bull charged, Hernandez dropped his cape and ran for higher ground behind the protective wall.

Apparently, this is pretty serious stuff in Mexico. Hernandez was arrested for breach of contract. Later, he said, in an interview, that he just lost his nerve. He added (sorry, I'm just quoting her), "There are some things you must be aware of about yourself. I didn't have the ability. I didn't have the b---s. This is not my thing."

I would say there are two careers this guy is probably NOT cut out for:

1.) Bullfighter

2.) Motivational Speaker

posted by Denny # 6:15 PM 0 Comments

Monday, June 14, 2010

The Other White Meat, Annie & Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

We are getting into the dog days of summer. It has been unbelievably hot. It was so hot today, I saw a dog chasing a cat..............and they were both walking.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY!!

I have another live remote broadcast coming up this weekend at one of my favorite places to do a remote: the one and only J & J Tile & Marble. I love those guys over there, and it's ALWAYS a lot of fun. You'll see the largest selection of tile, marble, mosaics, granite, vinyl and hardwood. They guarantee they will BEAT any competitor's price. Even if you're not in the market for any of the above, try to stop by for a few minutes anyway just to say, "Hi".

A couple of sad notes here:

Jimmy Dean died over the weekend in his home here in Virginia.

Dean skyrocketed to fame in the early 60's when he topped the charts with his super hit, "Big, Bad John". He had his own popular TV show for awhile, and of course, later, became known for his famous sausage company. He was 81.

Another sad note: The comic strip, "Annie", probably better known as "Little Orphan Annie", is no more. Facing a shifting of media landscape, the shrinking and closing of newspapers, a dwindling audience for comic adventures, and an explosion of new forms of entertainment, Tribune Media Services decided to pull the plug on Annie. The comic strip ended this weekend. Annie herself would probably be shedding a tear or two over this but...........

...........she doesn't have any eyeballs.

An Ohio woman has been jailed for calling the 911 emergency line five times in one hour complaining that she couldn't find a husband. The 911 dispatcher couldn't believe it and asked 57 year-old Audrey Scott, "Let me get this straight. You keep calling 911 because you can't find a husband?" Scott's response was "Yes". She was arrested for mis-using the 911 emergency line, a class-four misdemeanor, and as a result, she spent four days in jail. Unfortunately for her, they put her in a women's prison, so she didn't get to meet any men there either.

For more than two decades, pork has been known as "The Other White Meat". Now, industry insiders think it's time pork got a new slogan. The National Pork Board (yes, there actually is such a thing) plans to replace the current slogan with something that will pick up sagging pork sales. While chicken sales have soared over the last few years, the Pork Board says people just aren't eating as much pork. Ceci Snyder, the board's vice-president of marketing says they will launch their new slogan in March, 2011, although at this point, they're not sure what it will be.

How about this:

"PIGS.......THE ONLY ANIMAL MADE OUT OF BACON"

Pretty good, huh? This is why I should be in management instead of doing what I'm doing, because I am CONSTANTLY coming up with great ideas like this.

To be honest with you......personally......I find it hard to believe that Americans aren't getting enough pork.

posted by Denny # 4:15 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Helen Thomas, A Missing Cat & Friday In Occoquan

Here we go again! It's another Flip-Flop Friday coming up. I will be appearing live and broadcasting from Madigan's in Occoquan. I'll be out there between 6 and 8 P.M. If you're maybe heading home around that time, take a break from traffic and come on into Madigan's. While you're there, be sure to register for those trips to Mexico we'll be giving away this summer. In fact, we'll be giving the first one away in just a few weeks. I'm looking forward to seeing this Friday.

If you're an animal-lover, you might have a hard time with this story: Maria Brown of Woosehill, England took her two cats, Angel and Lexi, in to the Woosehill Veterinary Hospital. Angel was to be spayed. Lexi was to be neutered. She left the cats, and returned the next day to pick them up. When she arrived, she was told that Angel was fine, however, Lexi, a two-year old male Tabby, somehow managed to escape from the hospital moments before his operation. The staff told her Lexi apparently escaped through an open window. They deeply apologized and said the whole episode has been a nightmare. A brokenhearted Miss Brown has been desperately looking for Lexi, but so far, no luck. Meanwhile, Brown's other cat, Angel, had to be rushed to another emergency veterinary hospital just hours after returning home, because she managed to open one of her stitches. Brown claims this would not have happened if an Elizabethan Collar had been placed on the cat following surgery. The manager and vet at the Woosehill practice, who asked not to be named, said he is "very sorry" for everything that has happened. He admitted that Angel should have been placed in an Elizabethan Collar, but it was overlooked because of the fiasco of Lexi escaping.He also apologized for that and added that they are taking every precaution to make sure something like this never happens again. Meanwhile, Brown was "too distraught" to talk about the incident, and is hoping Lexi will find his way back home.

My question: Why the heck would he want to do THAT??!

Let's get the Helen Thomas thing out of the way. Hearst Newspapers announced the immediate "retirement" of Thomas, a veteran White House reporter, who covered ten presidential administrations. All of this in the midst of an uproar over her comments that Jews should "get the hell out of Palestine...." It was all caught on a flip camera by a rabbi/blogger, who released it to the Internet. In her defense, she's 89 years old. She probably wasn't aware that there was a medium out there for spreading information faster than the Pony Express.

Seriously, I don't like to see anyone lost their job because of something they said, no matter how inappropriate or unpopular those remarks might be. We used to have freedom of speech in this country. Believe me, I'm NO fan of Helen Thomas, never have been. Nevertheless, it is impressive that an 89-year old can have a job in which she gets to speak to a sitting President on a regular basis. Most 89-year olds I know are sitting around having imaginary conversations with Teddy Roosevelt.

She IS an attractive woman though, isn't she? A friend of mine put it best: This is the worst thing Helen Thomas has done since 150 years ago, when she tried to kill Hansel & Gretel.

posted by Denny # 5:31 PM 0 Comments

Monday, June 7, 2010

Madoff, Limbaugh & A Master Of Disguise

Happy Birthday today to Anna Kournikova.

She is 29 today. Jenny Jones is 64, and Ken "Eddie Haskell" Osmond from the old Leave It To Beaver show is 67 today.

...........and for those of you too young to remember, yes, there really was a TV show years ago called "Leave It To Beaver". You probably couldn't get away with that title these days

Rush Limbaugh got married over the weekend. No big deal. I'm no one to talk, but Rush has been married about a hundred times. As usual, he married a chickie poo much younger than he is (26 years younger).

What I did find unusual, is who supplied the entertainment at the reception. It was Elton John. Elton John performing at Rush Limbaugh's wedding?? Tell me that's not completely out of whack. It turns out Rush paid John $1 million to appear. The only thing I can figure here is that Elton is getting older. Maybe he misunderstood. Maybe he thought he was signing up to headline for the band Rush.

Bernie Madoff made some news over the weekend. Actually one of his fellow inmates did. Madoff is currently serving time at North Carolina's Butner Federal Correctional Complex.

In a profile being put together for "New York" magazine, this unnamed inmate said Madoff is a bit of a hero among his fellow convicts. He added that Madoff apparently has little sympathy for his victims. He said, "I carried them for 20 years, and now I'm doing 150 years....". It's a shame this guy is in his seventies and won't get to serve his entire sentence.

............and am I the only one who finds it ironic that he's serving his time at a facility called BUT-ner?

Finally, an incredibly dumb criminal in Norman, Ohio. Twenty-eight year old Vaughn Roy Jones (how come dumb criminals always have three names?) walked into the Cleveland County Courthouse on Tuesday of last week, and had to empty his pockets and put the contents into a bowl that was to go through an x-ray machine. According to Cleveland County Undersheriff Rhett Burnett (sounds like a porn star), one of the items Jones dropped into the bowl was a bag of marijuana. When he realized what he did, he turn around and ran from the building. Police went after him, but Jones managed to escape. Along with the marijuana, he also left behind a food stamps card which did NOT belong to him.

Now, here's the part that's hard to believe, but true. Jones showed up at the very same courthouse.....................the very next day.............at almost the exact same time.............with the same deputies working the door. However, this time when he showed up, he was wearing a hat. I guess he thought that was a pretty clever disguise and that the deputies wouldn't recognize him. They did. He was arrested for possession for false identification, resisting an officer, and possession of a controlled dangerous substance.

His bail was set at $7,000.00.

Officer Burnett said, "It wasn't a very good disguise. All he did was put on a hat".

In Jones' defense, I'll say this: It probably seems like a really.....really.........REALLY clever disguise............when you're stoned.

posted by Denny # 4:53 PM 0 Comments