Walk For The Animals, Calling The Police ON The Police & The World's WORST Blind Date

2010-08-13T15:10:00.006-04:00

If you caught Debra Joseph's last visit to More In The Morning, then you know that we are gearing up for this year's Walk For The Animals in downtown Fredericksburg. Debra is the Director of the Fredericksburg Regional SPCA and she reminds us that this will be the twelfth annual walk, all to benefit the Fredericksburg SPCA. Once again, there are some great prizes this year, but the whole is so much fun, the prizes are almost secondary. It starts on Maury Field, downtown, at 8 A.M., and now we need YOU to come out and walk with us. Yes, I'll be out there along with my wife, Rae, Braden Smith, our Thunder crew and once again, a special guest appearance by Watson The Wonder Dog. Not that it's a race, in fact on the contrary, it's a leisurely walk through downtown, but last year Watson took the word "leisurely" to new heights. If you were there, you know we came in dead last. In fact, by the time we got back to Maury Field, I looked like Tom Hanks in Cast Away. But Watson assures me that this year, he'll do better. As you can see, he's training hard.By the way, Watson More now has his own Facebook page. Check it out when you can and become a friend.

Let's go to the news:

Eaton, Ohio........Police in Eaton got a frantic 911 call from this woman.

She's Andrea Elliot, and she called 911 and told them to hurry and send the police to rescue her because some police were trying to put handcuffs on her and arrest her for being drunk and disorderly. The 911 dispatcher explained to her that they don't send the police to stop the police from arresting people.

WELL, THEN, WHAT GOOD ARE THEY??!

I guess I understand. I mean if they sent police, then they'd have to send MORE police to stop the police from making the arrest. It could go on forever and ever.

In the end, it all worked out pretty well because once they got the handcuffs on her, it turned out she liked it.

IN THE "WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS DOESN'T NECESSARILY STAY IN VEGAS" DEPARTMENT: Alex Buehler of Eau Claire, Wisconsin pleaded guilty to bigamy after his wife, whom he married in Las Vegas three years ago, discovered his first wife on Facebook. Worse than that, she also discovered that he was still married to her! In court, Buehler told the judge that he had meant to divorce his first wife, but he "lost track of time" and it just "slipped away" from him and he never got around to it.

HE ALSO MEANT TO MOVE TO UTAH, BUT HE LOST TRACK OF TIME AND IT JUST SLIPPED AWAY AND HE NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT.

I would think this dope's defense would've been he thought weddings performed by bad Elvis impersonators didn't count.

Finally, you have GOT to love this guy.......

This man, with the Derek Jeter ("Where am I") expression on his face is 43 year-old Andrew Palmer of Baltimore, Maryland. He likes to eat in fancy restaurants, but he doesn't like to pay the tab. Many of us feel that way, but he actually did something about it. Palmer devised a little scheme in which he would go into a restaurant, eat and drink aggressively, and then when the bill would come, he would fake a seizure and be taken away to the hospital, where he would be looked over and then, of course, released. This is something you might get away with once, maybe twice is you're lucky, but Palmer did it eighteen times in restaurants throughout Baltimore and beyond, even travelling as far south as Florida to sample of of their eating establishments.

His antics finally caught the attention of Maryland Assistant State Attorney Scott Richard, and of course, it didn't take long to mount a case against him. He was arrested and sentenced to eighteen months in prison.

In this guy's defense, did anyone stop to consider that he WASN'T faking it? Maybe he's just been eating in the wrong restaurants.

The good news for this guy: For the next eighteen months, he will be getting FREE MEALS!!!!!!!!

...and when he does get out of jail, good news for you ladies out there: HE'S SINGLE!!!!!!!!!! But I wouldn't recommend going out on a dinner date with him.

Open For Business In Auburn, California, Danger In Disneyland & Aquapalooza

2010-07-23T18:45:00.007-04:00

It's hard to believe that it's Aquapalooza time again, but sure enough, the world's largest water party is back tomorrow. We have a change in venue this year. Tim's I in Dunfries is the site for this year's event. Our headline performer this year is national recording star Matt Stillwell.And, of course, I'll be out there along with all the other Thunder air personalities, the Thunder crew, and hopefully, YOU'LL be there too.

A programming note: on Monday morning's show, in the eight o'clock hour, I will be joined in the studio by 9-year-old Megan Robertson and her mother, Heather. Megan (from Stafford) made national news last week when she had the opportunity to get up onstage and dance with Tim McGraw at Jiffy Lube Live. It's a great story. Megan has had some health issues in the past, and when she was rehabilitating, she would listen to Tim's music. So, this was truly a dream come true for her and we'll get the whole story on Monday.

Twenty-nine-year-old Travis Kevie of Newcastle, California is a very enterprising young man. Unfortunately, his enterprising nature got him arrested. Kevie broke into a shuttered, close-down bar in Auburn, California, called the Valencia Club, reopened it, and started selling drinks to unwitting customers. Auburn Police Detective Jim Hudson became suspicious after reading about the Valencia Club's re-opening in a local Auburn newspaper. The article even featured a picture of Kevie and identified him as the new "owner/operator.

Not only had Detective Hudson had previous run-ins with Kevie, but he also happened to know that the Valencia's liquor license had been surrendered. Sure enough, when Detective Hudson went to the bar to investigate, he found it was open for business with customers at the bar. Kevie quickly went from behind the bar to behind bars.

So, here's just another example of small business being stifled by the government.

Here's a story I had to laugh it when I read it this morning: Disneyland has closed down it's Alice In Wonderland ride while workers install new safety equipment recommended by the California work-safety inspectors. Have you ever been on the Alice In Wonderland ride?

You have better odds of being injured in Disneyland or Disney World by a senior citizen driving one of those Rascal scooters.

And yes, it's true. The Golden Girl, Taylor Swift has been nominated to be inducted into the Bowling Hall of Fame. The Bowling Proprietor's Association recently announced the list of nominees who, according to the association, helped contribute to the enduring popularity of ....................bowling. Aside from Taylor, some of the other notables nominated include Bill Murray, Jeff Bridges, Jimmy Fallon, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian (those last two make even less sense than Taylor Swift). You are invited to vote online at http://www.gobowling.com/ . If Taylor wins, watch for Kanya West to interrupt the induction ceremony complaining that Beyonce is a better bowler.

What's next for Taylor Swift? Nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize?

Wine And Whiskers, Bubble's Thoughts & The Y

2010-07-14T17:48:00.006-04:00

He's a great American, an incredible musician, and a legend in the country music world, and he's coming to Fredericksburg. I'm talking about the great Charlie Daniels. He'll be appearing at Celebrate Virginia Live this Friday night. I've been giving tickets away all week, and tomorrow morning, another chance to win tickets when we play More's Mystery. Tomorrow, we'll be looking for a person......a person who could easily be described as the Jerry Springer of his day. I'll have two more clues for you tomorrow morning a little after our 7 o'clock news.

It's hard to believe, but it's Wine & Whiskers time again, and again this year, I'm happy to be hosting the festivities at Lake Anna Winery this Saturday night. Not only is this a great way to spend a Saturday night, but it's a chance to help support the Fredericksburg SPCA at the same time. There'll be wine-tasting, great food, a live band, a silent auction, and all in all, a lot of fun. I hope to see you there. For more information, go to http://www.wineandwhiskers.com/ .

In case you have not heard, the YMCA is now officially known as just "The Y". The Chicago-based, non-profit organization announced Monday that it is changing it's logo and name to "The Y". Research showed that the name "YMCA" was confusing to most people, and that most people usually referred to the organization as "the Y" anyway. For now, the new name applies to the group nationally, with individual locations still being referred to as YMCAs. However, the transition is under way, and within five years, the 10,000 YMCAs across the country will be known simply as "The Y". Why is this important and why is this good news? Because now, that annoying Village People song will be 75% shorter.

I've talked about the Jackson family on numerous occasions. They are without a doubt an iconic family in our society, and Michael was without a doubt one of the greatest entertainers of all time. However, this doesn't change the fact that the entire family is nuts. Here's the latest:

In an interview with News of the World, La Toya Jackson claims Michael spent thousands of dollars in trying to teach his pet chimpanzee, Bubbles........to talk. This is NOT hard to believe. La Toya says Michael spent thousands of dollars on research to see if Bubbles could undergo a medical procedure that would give him the ability to speak. She says, "Michael wanted to give Bubbles vocal chords and asked doctors, 'Can I give him an operation so that I can know what his thoughts are?" But after spending an enormous amount of money and years of research, he finally gave up on the idea. Besides, he probably figured if he really wanted to know what Bubbles' thoughts were...........

........he could just talk to La Toya.

Back To Work, The F.B.I. & A Six-Year-Old On The "No-Fly" List

2010-07-07T17:46:00.006-04:00

It's back to work this week after a very nice and very relaxing week off. My thanks to Brian Strobel for filling in.

Coming up tomorrow morning, joining me in the studio, Vicki "The Victorious" Berkshire from right here in Fredericksburg.

At the age of 29, Vicki's dream is to be a MMA cage fighter, and indeed, this Saturday night, she will step into the cage for the very first time at The Virginia Sports Complex in Ruther Glen. Hopefully, we'll find out a little about the thought process that went into making the decision to do this.

Remember, Blake Shelton is coming to town this Friday night, and every morning this week, I'll have chances for you to win tickets. Here's the first of three clues to tomorrow morning's More's Mystery: This left-handed smoker once worked as a limo driver while pursuing an acting career.

Watch for the More In the Morning weekly poll question coming soon to this website.

We have a special announcement to make about my buddy, Kristin Nash. We'll be making that announcement this Friday morning during the Walk Down Music Row segment.

In the "better late than never" department: My thanks to the Federal Bureau of Investigation at Quantico for inviting me to participate in their F.B.I. Citizen's Academy. If you're like me, you probably didn't even know there was such a thing. The F.B.I.'s Citizen's Academy is a special unit for civilians. It's an eight-week course which breaks down some of the myths of the F.B.I., and gives people like me a little behind-the-scenes look as to how the Bureau works. It's a very "hands-on" course. I'm very much a homebody kind of guy. Give me my wife, my dog and some wine and I'm a happy guy. So, when the F.B.I. called, I really didn't know if I wanted to commit myself into taking the course. But I must tell you, and I mean this, it was one of the most fascinating things I've ever done in my life. It was interesting, riveting and, because it was so hands-on, it was a lot of fun. I met a lot of great people too. Unfortunately, this is not something you can sign up for. You sort of have to be nominated to get in. If, by chance you ever have the opportunity to do it, I'd HIGHLY recommend it. Again, my thanks to everybody at the F.B.I.

While I was out last week, Britain's Sun Tabloid claimed they got a sneak peek at the secret divorce deal between Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin.

It is a record settlement for a celebrity divorce case with $750 MILLION going to Elin. However, in return, she must agree to never talk about Tiger or their marriage, even if he dies first. If she does, she forfeits the money. She also gets custody of both kids, and to keep them away from porn stars, Tiger is not allowed to bring any single woman into the children's presence, unless he is engaged to marry her.

My question: Knowing what we know about this guy, what woman would be dumb enough to marry him? Heather Mills, maybe.

Finally, an off-beat story about a 6-year-old girl, who for some unexplained reason, has found herself on the U.S. Government's No-Fly list. Dr. Santhosh Thomas of Cleveland, Ohio, along with his wife and six-year-old daughter, Alyssa were getting ready to fly from Cleveland to Minneapolis, when the ticket agent at the Continental counter informed them that Alyssa was on the No-Fly list. The agent suggested they call Homeland Security to straighten the matter out. When Dr. Thomas did that, he received a letter from the federal government confirming that his six-year-old daughter WAS indeed on the No-Fly list, and that her file WOULD NOT change.

The F.B.I. will confirm that a such a list exists. However, for security purpose, they will not discuss who is on it or why.

In the F.B.I.'s defense, and as someone who flys alot, I'll say this: I know many frequent fliers who would argue that ALL six-year-olds should be on the No-Fly list.

Wrapping Up Some Loose Ends, The End Of The World & Not A Leg To Stand On

2010-06-26T17:20:00.004-04:00

I will be off this upcoming week. Brian Stroble will be filling in for me.

I do want to thank everybody who came out to Flip Flop Friday this week in Colonial Beach. It was another great party, and again, our thanks to our good friends at Corona Light and Corona Extra................and of course, thanks to Dawn and Stephanie, the Corona babes!!

Also, thanks to everybody who came out to my live broadcast this afternoon at the grand opening of Chancellor Tire & Auto. This was one of the most fun and most successful remotes I've ever done. The folks at Chancellor know how to do it up. We drew a huge crowd. In fact, we went through more than 350 hot dogs in about 2 hours. Thanks again to all of you for stopping by.

There was a story out of New York City about 4 years ago that made national news. Some of you might remember it.

Twenty-two year-old Dustin Dibble had been on a drinking binge when he decided to take the subway home at around 1:30 in the morning on April 23, 2006. It would later be discovered that his blood-alcohol level was 0.18 - twice the legal driving limit. There he was, standing on the subway platform waiting for the train. He was so bombed, he lost his equilibrium. He fell off the platform and was run over by the train. Unfortunately for Dibble, he lost his leg in the accident.
Here's where it starts to get a little nuts. Despite the fact that Dibble was smashed, he turned around and sued the MTA (Metropolitan Transportation Authority) for negligence. Incredibly (or maybe not so incredibly), he won the case and the jury awarded him $2.3 million.

This is very reminiscent of the well-known case in which a woman ordered a cup of hot coffee from McDonalds, spilled it on herself, then turned around and sued the fast-food restaurant and was awarded millions of dollars. Most people have heard that story. What a lot of people don't know, is that the award was appealed, and although the woman did get a lot of money, it wasn't millions.

This Dustin Dibble case is very similar. There was no negligence on the part of the MTA. Dibble was rip-roaring drunk. Subsequently he fell off the platform. It was proven that the driver of the train reacted as quickly as possible. Everybody knows that you can't stop a train on a dime.

Here's the good news: On Wednesday of this week, a state appeals court threw the ENTIRE case OUT. Dibble gets nothing. The case was thrown out based on "impermissible speculation and insufficient evidence".

So, every once in awhile, common sense prevails, and now it won't cost the taxpayers of New York and arm and a leg.

In this guy's defense, I will say this: If my name was Dustin Dibble, I'd probably walk around drunk most of the time too.

On a more upbeat note..........

Frank Fenner, a microbiology professor and a top scientist in Australia, credited with helping to wipe out smallpox, says the human race will be extinct in 100 years.

The professor says, "In one hundred years, we're going to become extinct. The world's population will reach 6.9 billion by the end of 2010, and the race simple can't survive. More people means fewer resources. There will be a lot more wars and they'll all be over food."

I'm not all that worried about this. If there is any battle the U.S. will not lose, it's a fight over a meal.

Talk to you in a week.

American Ninja, Vassar & Raging Bull

2010-06-16T18:15:00.006-04:00

I just got some great news. I've just been given some additional Phil Vassar tickets to give away tomorrow morning (in addition to the pair I already had).

Phil will be at Celebrate Virginia this Friday night. I'll give two of those tickets away when we play More's Mystery a little after our 7 A.M. news. I always appreciate when you take the time to read this blog, and to show my appreciation, I'm going to give you the first two clues to tomorrow's mystery right here.

We'll be looking for a physical activity.

1.) This activity requires heat.

2.) Although nobody knows for sure when and where this activity began, it is believed that it started in China.

I'll give you clue #3 tomorrow morning.

Earlier this week, 50 year-old California construction worker Gary Brooks Faulkner was detained in a remote mountain area of Pakistan, once rumored to be a hiding place of Osama Bin Laden. He entered Pakistan as a tourist, but allegedly planned to kill Osama. He was quickly dubbed "American Ninja". His brother has been talking to the media. He says his brother is not crazy, just extremely patriotic. He doesn't even care about the $25 million reward being offered for Osama. He just doesn't want to see Bin Laden get away with 9-11. Faulkner's brother said, "Gary doesn't rob banks. He doesn't go around shooting people. He's not a terrorist, and again, he's not crazy".

I appreciate this guy's patriotism. I really do, but doesn't entering Pakistan as a tourist automatically qualify you as "crazy"?

By now, you've probably seen the video that's been making the Internet rounds of Matador Christian Hernandez, who should probably be looking for another line of work. Hernandez was badly gored in a bullfight several months ago, and this past Sunday, he decided he was ready for a comeback. He stepped into the bullfighting ring at Plaza Mexico in Mexico City, but the first time the bull charged, Hernandez dropped his cape and ran for higher ground behind the protective wall.

Apparently, this is pretty serious stuff in Mexico. Hernandez was arrested for breach of contract. Later, he said, in an interview, that he just lost his nerve. He added (sorry, I'm just quoting her), "There are some things you must be aware of about yourself. I didn't have the ability. I didn't have the b---s. This is not my thing."

I would say there are two careers this guy is probably NOT cut out for:

1.) Bullfighter

2.) Motivational Speaker

The Other White Meat, Annie & Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

2010-06-14T16:15:00.006-04:00

We are getting into the dog days of summer. It has been unbelievably hot. It was so hot today, I saw a dog chasing a cat..............and they were both walking.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY!!

I have another live remote broadcast coming up this weekend at one of my favorite places to do a remote: the one and only J & J Tile & Marble. I love those guys over there, and it's ALWAYS a lot of fun. You'll see the largest selection of tile, marble, mosaics, granite, vinyl and hardwood. They guarantee they will BEAT any competitor's price. Even if you're not in the market for any of the above, try to stop by for a few minutes anyway just to say, "Hi".

A couple of sad notes here:

Jimmy Dean died over the weekend in his home here in Virginia.

Dean skyrocketed to fame in the early 60's when he topped the charts with his super hit, "Big, Bad John". He had his own popular TV show for awhile, and of course, later, became known for his famous sausage company. He was 81.

Another sad note: The comic strip, "Annie", probably better known as "Little Orphan Annie", is no more. Facing a shifting of media landscape, the shrinking and closing of newspapers, a dwindling audience for comic adventures, and an explosion of new forms of entertainment, Tribune Media Services decided to pull the plug on Annie. The comic strip ended this weekend. Annie herself would probably be shedding a tear or two over this but...........

...........she doesn't have any eyeballs.

An Ohio woman has been jailed for calling the 911 emergency line five times in one hour complaining that she couldn't find a husband. The 911 dispatcher couldn't believe it and asked 57 year-old Audrey Scott, "Let me get this straight. You keep calling 911 because you can't find a husband?" Scott's response was "Yes". She was arrested for mis-using the 911 emergency line, a class-four misdemeanor, and as a result, she spent four days in jail. Unfortunately for her, they put her in a women's prison, so she didn't get to meet any men there either.

For more than two decades, pork has been known as "The Other White Meat". Now, industry insiders think it's time pork got a new slogan. The National Pork Board (yes, there actually is such a thing) plans to replace the current slogan with something that will pick up sagging pork sales. While chicken sales have soared over the last few years, the Pork Board says people just aren't eating as much pork. Ceci Snyder, the board's vice-president of marketing says they will launch their new slogan in March, 2011, although at this point, they're not sure what it will be.

How about this:

"PIGS.......THE ONLY ANIMAL MADE OUT OF BACON"

Pretty good, huh? This is why I should be in management instead of doing what I'm doing, because I am CONSTANTLY coming up with great ideas like this.

To be honest with you......personally......I find it hard to believe that Americans aren't getting enough pork.

Helen Thomas, A Missing Cat & Friday In Occoquan

2010-06-08T17:31:00.007-04:00

Here we go again! It's another Flip-Flop Friday coming up. I will be appearing live and broadcasting from Madigan's in Occoquan. I'll be out there between 6 and 8 P.M. If you're maybe heading home around that time, take a break from traffic and come on into Madigan's. While you're there, be sure to register for those trips to Mexico we'll be giving away this summer. In fact, we'll be giving the first one away in just a few weeks. I'm looking forward to seeing this Friday.

If you're an animal-lover, you might have a hard time with this story: Maria Brown of Woosehill, England took her two cats, Angel and Lexi, in to the Woosehill Veterinary Hospital. Angel was to be spayed. Lexi was to be neutered. She left the cats, and returned the next day to pick them up. When she arrived, she was told that Angel was fine, however, Lexi, a two-year old male Tabby, somehow managed to escape from the hospital moments before his operation. The staff told her Lexi apparently escaped through an open window. They deeply apologized and said the whole episode has been a nightmare. A brokenhearted Miss Brown has been desperately looking for Lexi, but so far, no luck. Meanwhile, Brown's other cat, Angel, had to be rushed to another emergency veterinary hospital just hours after returning home, because she managed to open one of her stitches. Brown claims this would not have happened if an Elizabethan Collar had been placed on the cat following surgery. The manager and vet at the Woosehill practice, who asked not to be named, said he is "very sorry" for everything that has happened. He admitted that Angel should have been placed in an Elizabethan Collar, but it was overlooked because of the fiasco of Lexi escaping.He also apologized for that and added that they are taking every precaution to make sure something like this never happens again. Meanwhile, Brown was "too distraught" to talk about the incident, and is hoping Lexi will find his way back home.

My question: Why the heck would he want to do THAT??!

Let's get the Helen Thomas thing out of the way. Hearst Newspapers announced the immediate "retirement" of Thomas, a veteran White House reporter, who covered ten presidential administrations. All of this in the midst of an uproar over her comments that Jews should "get the hell out of Palestine...." It was all caught on a flip camera by a rabbi/blogger, who released it to the Internet. In her defense, she's 89 years old. She probably wasn't aware that there was a medium out there for spreading information faster than the Pony Express.

Seriously, I don't like to see anyone lost their job because of something they said, no matter how inappropriate or unpopular those remarks might be. We used to have freedom of speech in this country. Believe me, I'm NO fan of Helen Thomas, never have been. Nevertheless, it is impressive that an 89-year old can have a job in which she gets to speak to a sitting President on a regular basis. Most 89-year olds I know are sitting around having imaginary conversations with Teddy Roosevelt.

She IS an attractive woman though, isn't she? A friend of mine put it best: This is the worst thing Helen Thomas has done since 150 years ago, when she tried to kill Hansel & Gretel.

Madoff, Limbaugh & A Master Of Disguise

2010-06-07T16:53:00.007-04:00

Happy Birthday today to Anna Kournikova.She is 29 today. Jenny Jones is 64, and Ken "Eddie Haskell" Osmond from the old Leave It To Beaver show is 67 today............and for those of you too young to remember, yes, there really was a TV show years ago called "Leave It To Beaver". You probably couldn't get away with that title these days

Rush Limbaugh got married over the weekend. No big deal. I'm no one to talk, but Rush has been married about a hundred times. As usual, he married a chickie poo much younger than he is (26 years younger).

What I did find unusual, is who supplied the entertainment at the reception. It was Elton John. Elton John performing at Rush Limbaugh's wedding?? Tell me that's not completely out of whack. It turns out Rush paid John $1 million to appear. The only thing I can figure here is that Elton is getting older. Maybe he misunderstood. Maybe he thought he was signing up to headline for the band Rush.

Bernie Madoff made some news over the weekend. Actually one of his fellow inmates did. Madoff is currently serving time at North Carolina's Butner Federal Correctional Complex.

In a profile being put together for "New York" magazine, this unnamed inmate said Madoff is a bit of a hero among his fellow convicts. He added that Madoff apparently has little sympathy for his victims. He said, "I carried them for 20 years, and now I'm doing 150 years....". It's a shame this guy is in his seventies and won't get to serve his entire sentence.

............and am I the only one who finds it ironic that he's serving his time at a facility called BUT-ner?

Finally, an incredibly dumb criminal in Norman, Ohio. Twenty-eight year old Vaughn Roy Jones (how come dumb criminals always have three names?) walked into the Cleveland County Courthouse on Tuesday of last week, and had to empty his pockets and put the contents into a bowl that was to go through an x-ray machine. According to Cleveland County Undersheriff Rhett Burnett (sounds like a porn star), one of the items Jones dropped into the bowl was a bag of marijuana. When he realized what he did, he turn around and ran from the building. Police went after him, but Jones managed to escape. Along with the marijuana, he also left behind a food stamps card which did NOT belong to him.

Now, here's the part that's hard to believe, but true. Jones showed up at the very same courthouse.....................the very next day.............at almost the exact same time.............with the same deputies working the door. However, this time when he showed up, he was wearing a hat. I guess he thought that was a pretty clever disguise and that the deputies wouldn't recognize him. They did. He was arrested for possession for false identification, resisting an officer, and possession of a controlled dangerous substance.

His bail was set at $7,000.00.

Officer Burnett said, "It wasn't a very good disguise. All he did was put on a hat".

In Jones' defense, I'll say this: It probably seems like a really.....really.........REALLY clever disguise............when you're stoned.

Memorial Day Weekend, Unhealthy Food & THE CORONA BABES!!

2010-05-30T15:21:00.006-04:00

A VERY HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND TO ALL OF YOU FROM MYSELF, KRISTIN NASH, PAUL HAYDEN & SHEILA QUINN

Thanks to all of you who came out to be a part of our first Flip-Flop Friday this weekend in Colonial Beach. Despite the threatening skies, we had a great turnout, a great time, and best of all, THE CORONA BABES WERE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Rae's son, Kyle, is staying with us for a bit, so I brought him along with me to Flip-Flop. On the way home, he said, "I can't believe they actually pay you to do this.....walking around......drinking Corona and hanging out with the Corona Girls".

Come to think of it, it is good work if you can get it. Our next Flip-Flop Friday on tap is this week in Fairview Beach. Kristin Nash will be at the controls of this one. For more details, keep listening to Thunder 104.5.

The food cops are at it again. The Center For Science In The Public Interest has issued their list of the least healthy restaurant foods. Let's take a look at the top six:

6.) Outback's New Zealand Rack of Lamb

5.) Cheesecake Factory's Chicken Pasta Carbonara (2500 calories)

4.) Cheesecake Factory's Chocolate Tower Truffle Cake (it weight 3 quarters of a

pound, has over 1,600 calories, and is the equivalent of eating 14 Hostess Ho-

Ho's)

3.) P.F. Chang's Double-Fried Noodle Combo (1,820 calories and five days worth

of salt - apparently the P.F in P.F. Chang's stands for "pure fat")

2.) California Pizza Kitchen's Tostada Pizza (the calorie and fat equivalent of

eating a pepperoni pizza with 6 beef tacos on top - Wow - How did I not think

of that?!)

1.) Five Guy's Bacon Cheeseburger (loaded up with calories, fat and salt)

Maybe it's supposed to be consumed by.........................five guys.

Finally, with the holiday weekend upon us, a reminder to be safe out there. If you're drinking, don't drive. You could wind up like 25-year old Matthew Van McDaniel of Los Alamitos, California. Mr. Van McDaniel is behind bars and could be there for some time. He was driving his Mercedes S550 with a blood alcohol level nearly twice the legal limit, when he crashed the car.....................through the gates.................of a California jail...........hitting a deputy in the process.

This guy was so bombed, he probably thought the deputy was the valet parking attendant.

Mr. Van McDaniel was sentenced to nine years in state prison for recklessly driving while under the influence of alcohol and assaulting an officer.

The good news is the officer was not seriously injured.

Sheriff's spokesman Jim Amormino said it was "the first time somebody tried to break INTO the jail".

Famous Dave's, On Top Of Mount Everest & Big News About Fish

2010-05-24T17:18:00.006-04:00

Unfortunately, we got rained out this past Saturday night at Old Dominion Speedway, so I was not able to experience the "ride-along". If you won tickets last week, I understand Old Dominion will honor those tickets on any night, and as far as the ride-along is concerned, we are going to try to re-schedule, although that might be easier said than done. We'll keep you posted.

Thanks to all of you who came out to enjoy our King of Wings Festival on Saturday. The weather held out for most of it, and congratulations to the Undisputed King of Wings: Famous Dave's.

Wow! What a tough More's Mystery this morning!! If you missed the answer, it was the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Tomorrow morning, we'll be looking for a famous person with an equally famous spouse.

Happy Birthday to Roseanne Cash. She is 55 today. Priscilla Presley is 65 today, and Tommy Chong is 72 today. Yes, 72!! How did that happen!?

Ironically, Tommy now qualifies to get free medical marijuana from the government.

On More In The Morning, we have often talked about people wasting incredible amounts of time and money studying stupid things. This one might be one of the all-time classics. Dr. Julie Desjardins, a researcher and biologist at Stanford University has been studying fish. The doctor now tells us that after years and years of research, she has determined that fish fear their own reflection, and therefore, will NOT look at their own reflection. How much time and money was spent to find this out? And when you get right now to it, who really knows what's on the mind of a fish? Obviously they're not too bright or they wouldn't keep winding up on the dinner table. But the really big question here is: WHO CARES ABOUT ANY OF THIS??

But let's say she's right about this. So what? Where are you going with this revelation..........this newly-found information? What are you going to do with it? Personally, I never knew fish don't look at their own reflection, but then again, I never really sat around pondering it.

But now that I know this important bit of information, I have been thinking about it. Maybe, just maybe, the reason a fish doesn't want to look at it's own reflection is because he's self-conscious about his looks. I mean he might be self-conscious about the fact that he has big lips...........eyes that are popping out of his head.......and scaly skin. When he looks in the mirror, he probably says, "Oh my God, I look like Larry King!!!!!" Finally, hats off to 12 year-old Jordan Romero of California, who is now officially the youngest person to climb Mount Everest. Now, I am not making this up, and if you doubt this, then I urge you to put in a search for "Jordan Romero" and read it for yourself: While climbing the highest peak in the world, Romero carried a pair of kangaroo testicles on him for good luck.

I might be wrong, but I would think that after removing the testicles from a kangaroo, climbing Mount Everest would seem easy.

Arlen Spector, The Kennedys & H & R Block

2010-05-20T20:19:00.005-04:00

People are still buzzing over Tuesday's primary elections. The big news is Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Spector losing in the Democratic primary to Representative Joe Sestak.
Spector had been in the Senate for five terms (30 years), but like most politicians, his views change from time to time depending on who he's talking to. His flip-flopping alienated Republicans so much so that he jumped over to the Democrats. Apparently, they were not too thrilled with him either. I know this guy has had some medical problems over the years, and maybe it's not his fault that he's nuts, but the voters definitely sent a few messages. A.) They don't like incumbents, B.) They don't like flip-floppers, and C.) They don't like people named "Arlen".

My thanks to Mike Southard for coming on the show this morning. Mike will be my driver at Old Dominion Raceway this Saturday night. Your final chance to win a 4-pack of tickets to the event and to qualify for the ride along experience when I hop into a race car and go head to head with a lucky listener on the track is during tomorrow morning's show. Good Luck!!!

Earlier that day, we'll all be out at the King of Wings Festival at the Fredericksburg Fairgrounds. Kristin Nash will be out there with me, as will Braden Smith, and we hope YOU will be out there as well. Make sure you come up to say, "Hi" to us!

The Kennedys are at it again. The wife of Robert Kennedy Jr has been arrested and charged with DUI, two days after a "domestic incident" at the couple's home in Bedford, Massachusetts.

According to Bedford Police Lt. Jeff Dickan, Mary F. Kennedy had a blood-alcohol level of 0.11 at the time of arrest. The legal limit is 0.08. She was pulled over because police witnessed her drive over a curb in the driveway at a local school. Dickan says she slurred her speech, the vehicle smelled of alcohol, and she failed field sobriety tests, including a one-legged stand and a walk-and-turn test.

I don't want to make a big deal out of this because on the Kennedy's Scandal's Scale, this is basically a "2".................and hey.................at least this time, nobody drowned.

Finally, I was astounded to read this today. H & R Block is closing up 400 offices because business is off. You would thing that with this current administration, if there's any business that would prosper, it would be tax preparation.

ODS, Skin Cancer & An Unusual Request From An Animal Shelter

2010-05-17T16:47:00.005-04:00

Congratulations to Miss Michigan, Rima Fakih, the new Miss U.S.A., and the first Muslin American to win that title. Although my money was on Miss Oklahoma (I picked her from the beginning of the pageant and just thought she had the best shot at winning), I will admit Fakih is a very pretty girl.In fact, she's is so hot, she could've won the swimsuit competition wearing a burqa.

Every morning this week, I'm going to give you the chance to call in and win a family four-pack of tickets to this Saturday night's races at Old Dominion Speedway. Then, at the end of the week, we'll draw a grand prize winner. That person will get a ride-along experience on the track Saturday night against me. Our winner will be drawn from those who won a family four-pack this week. If you win a four-pack, you're eligible for the drawing for the ride-along experience. So, do the math: If you win one one the prize packs this week, your chances of winning the grand prize are one-in-five. Tomorrow morning, your chance to win the four-pack will come in the eight o'clock hour.

Speaking of winning, I will also have a chance for you to win a family four-pack of tickets to The Thunder Concerts In The Park Series at Patriot Park for next Saturday Night when we play More's Mystery in the morning. Here's a little headstart for you: The subject of More's Mystery tomorrow morning was in detox at the age of eight.

It's very hard to get people to alter their behavior. To illustrate this, lets look at some poll numbers from a survey conducted by HealthDay.com concerning tanning and skin cancer. Of the 7,000 Americans surveyed, 80% say they want to avoid skin cancer. However 72% said they believe a tan looks good, and over 60% said they think a tan makes a person look healthier. But I want to go back to the first figure for a moment: 80% said they want to avoid skin cancer. I want to know more about the 20% who DON'T want to avoid skin cancer. Wouldn't you love to sit down and talk to these balloon-heads for a few minutes just to see what makes them tick.

I actually had little skin cancer scare about four years ago. Talk about a sun-worshiper, that was me! In fact, I didn't just hang and tan in the sun, but went to a tanning salon on top of it, and I did this for years. As I got a little older, I was smart enough to start going in for regular skin screenings. It was during one of these, the doctor discovered a squamous cell carcinoma, a very common form of skin cancer and fortunatley, very easy to remove. People ask me if I think I got it from the sun or the tanning salon. I'm pretty sure I got it from the tanning salon because of WHERE it was located on my body. I'll let your imagination take it from there.

But it defintely caused me to cut down on my tanning.

Finally, in keeping with the medical theme (in a way), there's a dog at My Little Shelter & Adoption Center in Huntington, Long Island, New York who needs Viagra. I'm not making this up. Ingrid is a six-year-old Pit Bull with a heart condition, and needs two of these little blue pills a day, or she will risk heart failure. Most people forget, or just never knew, that originally, Viagra was developed as a heart medication. Of course, these days, it's used by human males for......................well.....................other reasons. The pills cost about ten to twelve dollars a piece, and the shelter is asking men to pitch in and donate their unused pills. Most of the men I know who use this stuff don't have any UNUSED pills. Anyway, if you're interested in helping out, their website address is http://www.littleshelter.com/ .

A Pit Bull on Viagra..........................I don't think I'd want to be anywhere near that scenario.

The good news is if this dog can hang in there, soon every dog in the United States will be entitled to FREE Viagra under the OH-bama healthcare plan.

Trouble At The WWE, A Big Beaver Dam & Larry King

2010-05-08T20:44:00.005-04:00

Thanks to all of you who came out for our Cinco De Mayo party at The Greene Turtle this week. It was great meeting all of you.

Here are the clues for Monday's More's Mystery: We'll be looking for a game. There is absolutely no physical activity involved in this game. A general, all-around knowledge of people, places, dates, etc. is helpful when playing this game. Finally, a prize is always awarded to the winner.

Vince McMahon's World Wrestling Entertainment has a problem. WWE fan Zavr Peygumbari was arrested this week for making more than twenty calls to the WWE headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut threatening to blow up the building. He was apparently upset over the fact that the WWE fired former women's champ, Mickie James.

The phone calls began April 24th and continued through April 27th. Peygumbari was charged with four counts of fourth-degree threatening, one count of harassment and two counts second-degree threatening. In the phone calls, he said he would visit the building with a machete and a machine gun. He also threatened to blow the building up. What somebody should tell this guy is if he really wanted to get Vince McMahon's attention, he should have threatened to come over and whack somebody with a folding chair. Somebody should also tell him that professional wrestling is not real.

Canadian ecologist (every time I hear the word "ecologist", I start to get a little nervous) Jean Thie claims to have discovered the world's largest beaver dam on a remote lake in northern Alberta. He estimates that the beavers have been building it since the late 70's. It is so big, it shows up on satellite photos. Apparently, it's the biggest dam thing in Alberta.

The really great news is that this will soon become even bigger and better now that President OH-bama has given the beavers $5 billion in stimulus money.

Finally, Larry King has announced that he's putting his divorce plans on hold in hopes of a reconciliation with his wife Shawn. In fact, just a few nights ago, Shawn met Larry at the door in a slinky night gown.

Unfortunately, she was coming home at the time.

I made that last part up.

Colorado, Traficant & What NOT To Do During Your Driving Test

2010-05-04T17:13:00.011-04:00

Happy Birthday today to Randy Travis. He is 51 today. And Stella Parton is 61 today. Stella is the younger sister of Dolly Parton. It must've been a little tough on Stella. She basically grew up in Dolly's shadow.Dolly does have a way of casting a big shadow.

A couple of quick political notes:

Former Ohio Democratic Congressman and now, ex-con, James Traficant, fresh off a seven-year prison term for a bribery and racketeering conviction, says he is ready to run for Congress again, and he has filed papers to make it official.

Traficant, who DEFINITELY has the best hair in politics, registered this week to run as an independent in his home district in northeast Ohio, which is currently represented by Democrat and former Traficant aide, Tim Ryan. Traficant served nine terms, nearly twenty years, representing Ohio's 17th Congressional District, before his conviction in 2002. He was later expelled from the House of Representatives. His arrogance is amazing to me in announcing that he will run again. Legally, he can do this. What he can't do is vote. In Ohio, as in most states, an ex-con CAN run for office, but as an ex-con, they've lost their right to vote. Tell me we're not completely upside down as a country. He can run for office, but he can't vote for himself. Hopefully, the good people of the 17th district of Ohio will not entertain the thought of voting for this lunatic even for a moment. He says he is running on the platform of having experience. You can't argue with that. He DOES have experience. He served ten terms. nine in Congress - one in prison.

Speaking of running independently for office, what is Florida Governor Charlie Crist thinking? He announced this week that he is leaving the Republican Party. He says he's not getting the proper support from the party. He's also drowning in the polls, with his opponent Marco Rubio far ahead of him in the upcoming primaries. Although Crist is popular with the more liberal fringe of the Republican Party, Rubio is wowing the more traditional conservatives in the party. The majority of registered Republicans believe Crist is more likely to "side" with President OH-bama, and believe Rubio would not. So as of this week, Crist is officially out as a Republican.

From here on in, Crist will be running for the Senate as an independent candidate in his newly-formed Tanning Bed Party.

I have not one, but two great reason why you should be at The Greene Turtle behind the Spotsylvania Towne Center this week. Tomorrow night, I'll be there broadcasting live starting at 6 P.M., hosting the big Cinco de Mayo party. We'll have it all for you......big screens TVs, great food, great beverages, WAAAY too much fun, and a chance for you to win big with our Cinco Bingo Game!!!!

On Friday night, it's Penny Wack live at The Greene Turtle, also starting at 6 P.M. You're invited to go out and join The Wackster as she hosts the "Cold, Colder, Coldest" game, which YOU can play (must be 21), and win a 3-day/2-night ski trip to Breckenridge, Colorado. Somebody is going to win this trip before the night is over. It might as well be you. The trip includes airfare from Southwest Airlines (in my opinion, one of the best airlines in the country), hotel accommodations and lift tickets.

The "Cold, Colder, Coldest" game is brought to you by Coors Light, served in cans, bottles and glasses that tell you when its cold. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Great Beer, great responsibility.

If you're getting ready to take your driving test, don't do what 18 year-old Lucas Holliday did this week in Whittier, California. While taking his test with the examiner seated in the passenger's seat, Holliday went to step on the brakes, but stepped on the gas instead. The result: He crashed.............................INTO THE DMV BUILDING!!!

The airbags deployed. Holliday wasn't hurt, but the examiner hit his head and was taken to a local hospital for observation and released. The doctors probably figured anybody who would take a job as a driving test examiner is probably brain-damaged already.

A Busy Week, Pohanka Honda & A Cell Phone For Watson

2010-04-30T17:44:00.010-04:00

It's been an incredibly busy week for me on a personal level. I apologize for my absence of blogs over the last week or so.

Among some of the things which have happened to me this week (and I mentioned it on the air), Watson The Wonder Dog decided to eat my cell phone. I generally do not watch Dancing With The Stars. It's just not my type of TV programming. However, I have been watching it a bit this season. Two words: Pam Anderson. As Rae and I are sitting and watching the show, Rae gets the idea of calling in a text and voting for Pam. She grabs MY cell phone to do this. When she is finished, she lays the cell phone down on the couch on which we were sitting. About an hour later, I needed my cell phone and couldn't find it. Then, I found it. Watson had gotten a hold of it, and this is what it looked like.

Of course, I had none of my information backed up. I'm a pretty simple guy. I just want to replace my phone with another simple phone. I don't need one that takes pictures. I don't need one that takes videos. I don't need sports scores. I don't need to watch MTV. I don't need a phone that also makes espresso. I just want a simple phone. Easier said than done. In the two years I owned my phone, the technology continued to advance, and now, it's almost impossible to just get a simple phone. The bottom line to all of this is I now have a new phone. I don't know how to use it, but I have a new cell phone. Thank you, Watson.

I hope you can joint me tomorrow afternoon from 2 'til 4. I'm going to be broadcasting live from Pohanka Honda of Fredericksburg on Route 17 in Stafford (across from Target), and I would love for you to just stop by for a few minutes and say "Hi". I look forward to seeing you.

Happy Birthday to Willie Nelson today. He is 77.

I know the thought has crossed your mind. It's crossed mine, so let's be honest and just come out and say it.............how the heck did this guy make it to 77???

Some quick news items:

There must be big money in this global warming thing. Al Gore and his wife, Tipper (what's up with that name?), just purchased a house in California for almost $9 million. The house sits on 1.5 acres. It has five bedrooms, nine bathrooms (why does ANYBODY need nine bathrooms?), a swimming pool, a spa, fountains and (get this) SIX FIREPLACES. Don't fireplaces emit smoke and CO2? But here's the best part: The house has an ocean view. An ocean view????!! If he has an ocean view, it must be ocean front property, or at the very least, very close to the ocean. Excuse me, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Al Gore the guy who says that because of global warming, the polar ice caps are melting, and as a result, the land along our coastlines will be swallowed up by the rising oceans?? Apparently, even Al doesn't buy into his own baloney.

If this big bag of wind really believed what he preaches and if he wanted a home with an ocean view, he should've bought a house in Arizona. In a few years, the polar ice caps melt, the ocean levels rise, the coastline moves inland and BOOM.....there you go..........an ocean view.

But don't worry about Big Al and Tipper living on the California coast. He'll be keeping his private jet running 24 hours a day in his backyard in case they have to quickly flee to one of their other mansions.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is now using the Internet to win back support of the people of his country.

If you'd like to check out his website, go to www. psychonutjobwacko.com.

Finally, congratulations to Chris Shaw of Marshall, Missouri, the winner of the largest Powerball Lottery jackpot in the history of Missouri, $258 million.

Shaw plans to celebrate by going to Don Shula's Steakhouse and gumming the biggest, juiciest steak he can find.

Biden's Salary, NASA & The King Thing

2010-04-19T18:43:00.006-04:00

It was a very busy weekend. My thanks to everyone who came out for the King George Comedy Gala Friday night at Riverboat On the Potomac in Colonial Beach. A lot of money was raised for the American Cancer Society. Hopefully, I was able to supply the audience with a lot of laughs, and it was great having Congressman Rob Wittman with us as well.

Also, thanks to those of you you came out to join us on Saturday for the big live remote broadcast at J & J tile and Marble.

Congratulation to Carrie Underwood, who took home the title of Entertainer Of The Year at last night's ACM awards in Vegas. That's makes her the first female artist to pick up that title twice.

Also, a bit of a long shot (but I did call this one), Miranda Lambert won Best Female Vocalist.

Other awards:

TOP MALE VOCALIST OF THE YEAR: Brad Paisley

TOP VOCAL GROUP OF THE YEAR: Lady Antebellum

TOP VOCAL DUO OF THE YEAR: Brooks & Dunn

TOP NEW ARTIST OF THE YEAR : Luke Bryan

The President and Vice President's income tax forms were released late last week. The OH-bama's made $5.5 million last year. They paid $1.8 million in federal taxes and gave $329,000.oo to charity (It's nice to hear he's spreading the wealth around. I know he's big on that).

Comedian Joe Biden and his wife had an adjusted gross income of about $333,000.00 and gave $4,820.00 to charity. Biden's salary was listed as $208,000.00 a year.

Comedians and comedy writers across the country all agree he's worth every penny.

Speaking of the powers that be, President OH-bama visited Cape Canaveral last week to discuss his plans for NASA. He's canceling President Bush's plans to return to the moon, saying we've already been there (the old, "been there - done that" thing). Instead, he says he wants astronauts to be able to safely go to an asteroid and learn about deflecting them. Then he wants to go to Mars using a propulsion technology that doesn't exist yet. The price tag for these programs: $6 billion. Actually, it's $6 billion dollars.........plus an additional $45.00............if the astronauts have a carry-on.

Finally, I could talk about the Larry King thing forever. There is so much comedic material here, and most of it writes itself.

This TV fossil is getting divorced for the 8th time. He's getting divorced for the 8th time, but has only had 7 wives. How can that be? He re-married one of his former wives, then divorced her her again. He probably forgot he'd already been married to her. The latest development in this fandango: According to TMZ.com, King was having an affair with his wife's sister. This relic is so old, he probably didn't know it was his wife's sister. He probably thought she was his wife. The sister has come out to deny these rumors. She says the affair story is "ludicrous", and added, "Larry has been like a father to me."

He's like a father to all of us................Father time.

TMZ.com is also reporting that King and his estranges wife got together over the weekend to watch their son play baseball. The two were seen giving each other a hug, and he was overheard saying, "I remember that smell." (referring to her perfume)

Then, all of a sudden, he starting spazzing out and yelling things like: "BOISE, IDAHO, YOU'RE ON THE AIR!!!! WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION????!"

Alright, I made that last part up.

Strippers, Stolen Vacuum Cleaners & (as promised) The World's Happiest Mug Shot

2010-04-09T15:13:00.005-04:00

One week from tonight, it's the big show at Riverboat On The Potomac in Colonial Beach. I'm bringing my live comedy show to The Riverboat, all to benefit the King George Relay For Life. This is the comedy-magic show I've been performing around the country at comedy clubs and casinos for more than 40 years. This "adults only" show features comedy, comedy-magic, feats of E.S.P. & audience participation. You'll laugh your butt off and I the same time find yourself saying, "Hey...............how did he do that?"

The ticket price includes the show, dinner, dancing to a deejay after the show, plus a live and silent auction, not to mention the fabulous atmosphere of The Riverboat On The Potomac. Tickets are going fast. To get yours, go to http://www.kinggeorgecomedygala.org/ or call 540 379-5174.

Nicole Hughes is a stripper (I'm sorry - exotic dancer) at The Penthouse Executive Club in New York. She is suing her employer for using her photo on a billboard to advertise their other club called Scores, without her authorization. The billboard shows Hughes, along with two other women in lingerie with the slogan, "The Fun Is Back!"

That's Hughes in the middle.

Hughes says she felt "shocked and betrayed" when she saw the billboard one day while riding in a cab. She says the billboard has tainted her "integrity as an adult entertainer." She added that she is in the process of hiring a attorney to represent her. That might be the hardest part of this case.....finding an lawyer who can say "tainted her integrity as an adult entertainer" with a straight face.

Here's a odd story out of Framington, New York: Richard Dekenipp, a 42 year old is in legal trouble after stealing a vacuum cleaner from a department store, while his children were with him. He stole the vacuum and then, according to the police report, struck a security guard in the parking lot with his car, while his children were in the car. The guard wrote down his license plate and Dekenipp was later arrested at his home.

It's nice to read a story like this about a dad who's taking time to do things with his kids, isn't it?

Finally, as I promised on the air this morning: Tasha Lee Cantrell, a 19 year old, was a passenger in a car when the vehicle's driver was pulled over and arrested for DUI. Since the car was impounded, Cantrell had no way home. She asked Deputy Mitchell Landis if he would drive her home and he agreed. During the ride, Deputy Landis heard Cantrell open a can of some sort in the back seat. Landis stopped the car, and upon investigation, found that Landis was drinking a malt liquor called Steel Reserve, known for it's high alcohol content. Instead of being driven home, Cantrell was arrested for underage drinking and rerouted to the sheriff's office, where she was booked on the misdemeanor charge.

I guess her thinking here was who better to have as a designated driver than a cop.

...and here she is...........Is this the world's happiest mug shot, OR WHAT??!

The OH-bama Pitch, The Double-Down & Good-Bye, J.P. Stevens

2010-04-06T18:05:00.008-04:00

First of all, thanks to the staff and management of King's Dominion, who invited us to be a part of their media day last week. The purpose of the event was to introduce the Intimidator 305 Roller Coaster. Pretty wild stuff! They get the name from the fact that this coaster is 305 feet high. As you can see in the picture, unlike most coasters that take you up slowly on a soft incline, this one "shoots" you almost straight up and quickly. You're at the top in about 10 seconds, which is probably a good thing because it doesn't give you much time to think about what is about to happen. That first drop is a killer. You're coming down at an 85 degree angle at a top speed of 94 m.p.h. from a height of 305 feet. Believe me, it gets your attention real quick. If you're a coaster person, you will LOVE it! And yes, I met the height requirement.

Happy Birthday today to Merle Haggard. He's had his share of health problems during the last few years, but he's hanging in there and doing well.

Merle is 73 today.

Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens says he will "surely retire" while President Barack OH-bama is still in office. The 90 year-old leader of the court's liberals made the announcement over the weekend saying he will make a decision soon as to exactly when he will retire.

The guy is 90 years old. He better make a decision REAL soon.

I watched the clip this afternoon of President OH-bama throwing out the ceremonial first pitch at the National's season opener. I noticed when he walked out on the field, a lot of people were cheering, but a lot of people were booing. I have a problem with that. It's no secret that I'm not a big fan of this guy, but regardless, I think you have to have a certain amount of respect for the office of the President. No Unites States President you should ever be booed in this country.

I did make an observation of the event. If you were watching it live, think back, or better yet, go online and take another look at it. Maybe it's me, but did you notice when he threw the ball, it veered to the left?

Just an observation.

I invite you to go back into the archives of this blog to the date August 29, 2009. Back then, I told you about a new sandwich Kentuck Fried Chicken was coming out with. I didn't see or hear anybody else talking about it, and a lot of people thought I was kidding about it, but it was and is true. Now, it's official. Starting this Monday, April 12, KFC will start selling the "Double-Down Sandwich". Instead of bread, it consists of bacon, cheese and sauce (they don't say what kind of sauce). In place of the bread, the whole thing is placed between 2 slabs of fried chicken.

It has 540 calories and the slogan for the sandwich will be:
"..........so meaty, there's no room for the bun."

I would change that slogan around a little. How about this:

"If you eat enough of these, YOU"LL be so meaty, there'll be no room for YOUR buns."

Anyway, they go on sale starting Monday. Try it. See what you think. And for a limited time only, when you buy this sandwich, you will also receive a coupon for a discounted angioplasty.

Whale Meat, Hot Dogs & Prostate Cancer

2010-03-23T18:09:00.005-04:00

It was certainly nice having a week off, and amazing how when you come back, it's like you never left. My thanks to Brian Strobel for filling in. Did you ever notice that radio and TV is the only industry in which employees feel compelled to tell you that they're filling in for somebody? I'll bet, never once, have you gone into The Giant and the cashier says, "Good Afternoon, I'm Butch Shagnasty. I'll be your cashier. Bob Johnson has the day off."

We started off the week with a bang. OH-bamacare is now the law of the land. On the bright side, now that they passed the bill, maybe we'll actually get to see whats in it. I guess the days of politicians going to Washington and representing US are over. Now, apparently, these people we've voted in go to D.C. and do whatever THEY want. A CNN poll (CNN, mind you) finds that 59% of Americans oppose OH-bamacare, and most expect it will give the government too much power, INcrease the deficit and RAISE their insurance costs. According to a CBS poll (CBS, mind you), Speaker Nancy "Bela Lugosi" Pelosi's approval rating is 11. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's approval rating is 8. At this point, athlete's foot has a higher rating than these two. Meanwhile, President OH-bama says he will head out on a major public relations tour to convince Americans that they will LOVE OH-bamacare once they see what's in it. Again, shouldn't we have known what was in the bill BEFORE they passed it?

Good luck to The President on this. It's going to have to be one heck of a public relations blitz to sell this one to most Americans. My suggestion to him is that he go out and hire the same public relations firm that convinced millions of Americans to go out and buy Snuggies.
When you can convince millions of people to go out and buy a blanket with a hole in it for $19.99, that's one heck of a PR firm.

I have a couple of live appearances coming up and would love to have you come out and join me for them. Tomorrow, from 5 P.M. to 7 P.M., I'll be broadcasting live from Radley Chevrolet on Route One, and yes, I'll have FREE Martinsville-style hot dogs for you, plus chances for you to win tickets to the Martinsville Cup Race. Come on by for some fun!

Also, coming up on Friday, April 16, I'm coming back to The Riverboat On The Potomac with my live comedy show. This is not a Thunder remote. It will NOT be broadcast. The only way to be a part of it is at The Riverboat. I rarely get a chance to do my live club act locally, so I hope you'll come out. Also, I'll be giving tickets away all this week as prizes in More's Mystery. Speaking of which, tomorrow morning, we'll be looking for a TV character. This TV character appeared in a popular TV sitcom which ran for 9 years, and he appeared in every episode except for two. More clues tomorrow morning.

Speaking of eating..............if you like sushi, be careful where you go for it when visiting Los Angeles. Owners of the trendy sushi joint called The Hump (yes, that's the name of it) were exposed last week of serving illegal whale meat. They are facing a possible fine of $200,000.00, and the chef alone could be fined $100,000.00. On their website at http://www.thehump.biz/ , they say they are closing their doors forever and they apologize for the whole whale meat thing. As I understand it, in Japan, whale meat IS served to restaurant customers and, in fact, it is considered a delicacy. So, I guess you can say in their defense, that these guys just didn't know that in this country, we don't eat whales. Some of us just look like we do.

Finally, good medical news for bald men this morning from Professor Jonathan Wright of the University of Washington School of Medicine in Seattle. According to the professor, men who start balding by the age of 30 have a 45% lower chance of getting prostate cancer.

That's the good news. The bad news is they also have a 77% lower chance of getting a date.

Vacation, Peter Graves & Trouble In Iowa

2010-03-15T17:39:00.005-04:00

Yes, I'm on vacation this week, but still wanted to get at least one quick blog entry in. Tomorrow is the highlight of my week off...............getting my car inspected. Who says I don't know how to party?

Speaking of partying, I do have a live remote broadcast coming up this Wednesday, St. Patrick's Day. I will be out hosting a live St. Patty's Day party at the all-new Greene Turtle Sports Bar & Grille located at the Spotsylvania Towne Center. Rae & I had dinner out there in January and loved it. The party starts a 6 and I look forward to seeing you out there.

A sad day yesterday........actor Peter Graves died of a heart attack at the age of 83.
It's funny...........here's Peter Graves, who was known in many circles as an actor's actor.........a great serious actor. Whoever would have thought that his most memorable on-screen moments would be with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar??

...and of course, it was Peter Graves, who gave us that great line:

"Joey, do you like gladiator movies?"

Finally, I love this story out of Ames, Iowa. Police there arrested a man for breaking into The First Christian Church and apparently spending the night in the basement. Some staff members called police when they came in the following morning to find this guy trying to haul away a garbage can full of food, utensils, clothes, electronics, and a 26-inch flat-screen TV, all church property. But here's the best part: they don't go into detail, but there was also evidence that the man used the church's video equipment to watch porn movies he had on him.

In my opinion, this is how you could tell for sure that the burglar was a man. He didn't have food, utensils, clothing or shelter, BUT he DID have a porn collection.

Open Mic Night, A Tough More's Mystery & A Posh Prison

2010-03-05T16:22:00.004-05:00

Rae & I popped into Cheeseburger In Paradise in Central Park last night for the Thunder Open Mic Night. The place was packed!! This thing is going so well, they've decided to extend it. So, if you have any musical talent, we'd love to see you at Cheeseburger any Thursday night.

Kristin Nash is off on vacation next week. Filling in for her for the Walk Down Music Row will be The Wack, Penny Wack.

We've been doing More's Mystery for almost 2 years now. For those of you who might not know, it's a little trivia-type game we play every morning shortly after the 7 o'clock news. I throw out a few clues and you see if you can determine who or what it is we're looking for. Sometimes it's a person, sometimes a place, or maybe even an event or whatever. Without a doubt, the More's Mystery we had this past Wednesday was the most difficult and the most talked about. It took over 90 minutes before a listener finally came up with the right answer. Here it is days later, and people are still asking me about it. We were looking for a city. In the late 1800's, a devastating fire destroyed more than 30 blocks in this city. The first name of the founder of this city is William. This city is known as "the divorce capitol of the country" because they have the most lenient divorce laws in the Unites States. The answer, in case you missed it, was Fargo, North Dakota. On Monday morning, once again, we'll be looking for a city.

If you're planning on committing a crime, I have the perfect location: Oslo, Norway. They recently announced that they'll soon be opening what they're billing as "the world's most luxurious maximum security prison". Each cell is a suite with it's own bedroom and a hi-def, flat screen TV. There's a climbing wall for exercise, a recording studio and $1.5 million worth of modern art throughout. The entire facility cost over $240 million to build. The Governor of Norway, Arne Hoidal, says, "We are very proud of what we have achieved. None of the windows have bars. Instead, they are made of unbreakable glass so that people do not feel too claustrophobic".

Yeah, because you would hate for prison inmates to feel confined.

I have to laugh at this guy, Hoidal, bragging about the fact that they don't have bars on the windows. Of course they don't. With a facility like this, why would they NEED to put bars on the windows? Who's going to want to leave?

If anything, they would need bars on the windows to keep people from breaking IN.

Finally, in the "the doctor is nuttier than the patient" department: We go to Kenton County, Kentucky, where Dr. Douglas Rank, a psychiatrist, has been charged with first-degree assault for stabbing a female patient with a sword. Here's a picture of the good doctor......

I think when he's not practicing psychiatry, he works as a Kenny Rogers impersonator.

Witnesses say they caught Rank looming over this female patient moments after he stabbed her. They were able to wrestle the sword away.

This guy's either nuts or here's another theory: This could've all been part of this woman's therapy. Perhaps she's under the delusion that she's a cocktail olive.

Trudeau, Woods & Newlyweds

2010-02-22T16:58:00.005-05:00

The 5 local couples have been chosen and it's all systems go for the "Not-So-Newlywed" game slated for the Spotsylvania Towne Center this Sunday afternoon at 2 P.M. If you'd like to be part of our audience, all you have to do is show up. It's absolutely free and I guarantee some laughs.

Our thanks to everybody over at Encore Home Gallery, New & Consignment Furniture (who bring you "Walk Down Music Row" every morning with Kristin Nash). They had us there this past weekend for their grand opening and it was a spectacular event. We also want to thank all of you who showed up to be a part of it. Congratulations to Jill Thompson of Fredericksburg, who won those Martina McBride tickets!

Tomorrow is a big day for TV huckster Kevin Trudeau. He could be going to jail. He is scheduled to appear in court tomorrow on a criminal contempt charge. Before we go any further, if case you don't know who Kevin Trudeau is, let me refresh your memory. Did you ever get up to go to the bathroom around 2 or 3 in the morning, and maybe flip the TV on for a few minutes? Well, Trudeau is the guy who is on EVERY channel.
Talk about a guy who is COMPLETELY full of baloney, this would be him. Over the years, he's been on TV selling cancer cures, wrinkle remover, and of course, his books, "Weight Loss Cures They Don't Want You To Know About", Debt Cures They don't Want You To Know About", and his biggie, "Natural Cures They Don't Want You To Know About". The latter is full of such gems as, "The sun doesn't cause skin cancer. Sunscreen does". What a theory this is, huh?

In 2004, the Federal Trade Commission won a $37 million judgement against him for misrepresenting the contents of his "weight loss" book. He has yet to pay a penny of it, and stated in a public interview that he will not. Hence, his court appearance tomorrow. If he does go to jail, it won't be the first time. In the past, he has done jail time for larceny and credit card fraud. But guys like Kevin Trudeau never quit. If he does go to jail, don't be surprised if, soon afterwards, he'll come out with another book, "Prison Secrets They Don't Want You To Know About".

Finally, Tiger Woods made his big Mea Culpa speech Friday morning. What was probably more entertaining is what happened after Tiger's statement. The world's most annoying attorney, Gloria Allred, also held a press conference to announce she is now representing Josyln James, a former porno star who had an affair with Mr. Woods (a more fitting name would be Mr. Wood).

Gloria Allred has found a way to creep herself into every high-profile case in this country in the last 20 years, including the O.J. Simpson trial, the Scott Peterson trail, the Paula Jones-Bill Clinton fiasco, and the list goes on and on. She will do whatever it takes to get publicity and her face on TV. Now, she's representing this porno star. Allred says her client was very dissatisfied with Tiger's statement, and adds that her client deserves a personal apology for the unwanted attention he brought her......because, as we all know, porn stars HATE attention....and, of course, the last thing a porn star needs is a bad reputation. Allred insists they're not looking for money. All her client wants is an apology. It's a little hard to believe. Who goes out and hires an attorney to get a apology?

Meanwhile, Tiger Woods says he has received thousands of e-mails of encouragement from his fans and supporters. Of course, most of them have names like Jasmine.....Destiny.....Cinnamon......Barbie..........Bubbles........

Live Remote, The Return Of Tiger & King Tut

2010-02-18T17:46:00.006-05:00

While Rae watches "Sex & The City" for the 500th time, I thought I sit down and do a little blogging.

Do you remember where you were when the verdict in the O.J. Simpson trial came down? If you're old enough to have been around, and it wasn't all that long ago, then you probably remember where you were. It was one of those events in which the whole world seemed to stop for a few minutes. I was in a bar (shocker) with wife #2. We were having lunch at a place called the Ivy League in Howell, New Jersey. The place was PACKED, much more so than it normally would be on a weekday at that time. There were about 10 TVs on in the place, and when the verdict was read, despite the fact that there were about 200 people in the place, you could hear the proverbial pin drop. The bartenders stopped serving. The waitresses froze in their place. The customers stopped eating.

The reason I bring this up is I have a feeling we might see a very similar moment tomorrow morning at 11 o'clock, when Tiger Woods breaks his silence and apologizes to his fans and reveals his future plans. We are told he will speak for only 5 minutes and reporters will not be allowed to ask any questions (not exactly my idea of a press conference). Five minutes is not a lot of time. In his case, that isn't enough time to give a shout-out to each one of his mistresses. But....it should be interesting and we're all just hours away from it.

Here's a preview of one of the clues for tomorrow's More's Mystery, when we look for a person in show business: Two years ago, this person was arrested by the California State Highway Patrol for driving under the influence. Yeah, I know. In Hollywood, that's a pretty long list, but we'll narrow it down a little more tomorrow morning.

I haven't done a live remote broadcast in awhile, but I have one coming up this Saturday. I'll be out broadcasting live from the grand opening of Encore Home Gallery, New & Consignment Furniture on Cowan Boulevard in Central Park. I'll be out there from 12 Noon until 3 and, as usual, you're invited to stop by and say, "Hi", and enjoy the festivities. There'll be free seated massages from Massage Matters, free wine tastings (YEAH!) from Total Wine, and we'll also have free food for you from Camille's Sidewalk Cafe. I also have one more pair of tickets to give away to see Martina McBride & Trace Adkins at Richmond Coliseum next month. All you need to do is stop by anytime between 12 Noon to 3 and drop you name in the bowl. No purchase necessary. See you there!

Happy Birthday today to Juice Newton. The Juicester is 58 today. And Happy Birthday to the lovely Vanna White.

Vanna claims to be 53 today.

Have you been following this whole King Tut thing? Pretty interesting stuff. After 2 years of DNA tests and CT scans on King Tut's 3,300-year-old mummy and 15 others, including some other members of his family, scientists believe they finally know how he died. They think malaria might have killed King Tut.

However, there are a couple of other possibilities they haven't been completely ruled out. One, is the possibility of an accident caused by texting while camel-riding.

The other possibility that hasn't completely been ruled out: He was allergic to gold.

Another Day Off For The Feds, Annoying Co-Workers & No More Drills

2010-02-11T17:37:00.004-05:00

It was another day off for most area school kids again today, as our cancellations marathon continues in the mornings. Not only that, but it was an unprecedented third straight day off for federal government offices in D.C. Only essential government workers had to show up to their offices today (of course, the tricky part there is actually finding an ESSENTIAL government worker). I've got to laugh at the news reports that keep telling us that it costs taxpayers $100 million a day for everyday the federal government is closed in D.C. The way I see it, keeping the federal government open would cost taxpayers $100 BILLION a day, so we're actually making a profit on the snow.

Opinium Research conducted a survey asking office workers what they find to be the most annoying things about working in an office. Number one on the list was grumpy co-workers. Second on the list was computer crashes, followed by co-workers who gossip in the workplace. Fourth on the list was the over-usage of "office cliches", like "think outside the box". Next was people talking too loudly on the phone, be it an office phone or their private cell phone. Rounding out the list were poor office toilet etiquette (I'm not even sure what that means, and I don't think I want to know) and too much health and safety in the workplace (I don't get that one either).

Personally, I would put computer crashes on top as number one on my list. I HATE when an office computer crashes. I can never find that same porn site again.

Alright, let's be honest. Nobody likes going to the dentist. Let's face it, it's just not an enjoyable experience. I've never known anyone in my life who enjoys going to the dentist. Well........except for Bill Murray in Little Shop of Horrors. What's the worst part of going to the dentist? The drill!!! Even if you don't feel the pain of it, just the noise alone is enough to make your skin crawl. Well, there was some possible good news today out of Germany. A company called DMG has come up with a new product, which they say could make the dental drill obsolete. It's an acid gel called "Icon". It's applied to the tooth with a syringe. Then a little rubber collar is placed around the tooth to protect the other teeth while the acid eats through the enamel to the cavity. The dentist then cleans out the hole with ethanol and fills it with a fast-drying resin. DMG's press release say the whole process takes about 15 minutes.

Of course, it could take a lot longer if you add in the time it takes for your dentist to talk you into letting him put acid in your mouth.

On the plus side.....if you agree to do this and if the dentist accidentally spills some of the acid on your face, you can then go on to earn big money playing the lead in "Phantom of the Opera".

Snowballs, Martina Tickets & More Fun With Global Warming

2010-02-10T17:55:00.004-05:00

This has to be my favorite news story of the week, although few news outlets reported the whole story. President OH-bama was scheduled to give a press conference this past Monday to announce the formation of a new government agency (just what we need) to study GLOBAL WARMING. However, the press conference had to be cancelled because all federal offices were closed on Monday because of blizzard #1 which came through over the weekend.

Ya got it? They had to cancel the global warming press conference because of a blizzard.

Considering the weather we've been having lately, I'd like to see them form an agency to study how we can expedite global warming.

If you think about it though, doesn't this all make perfect sense? We have a Department of Education, but nobody gets educated anymore. We have a Department of Labor, but nobody has a job anymore. So...........hey.......why not launch a Global Warming Department during a blizzard?

Another Valentine's Day Prize Pack going out tomorrow morning. This is your chance to win a pair of tickets to see Martina McBride & Trace Adkins next month in Richmond, plus a dozen long-stemmed red roses from Bloomers Florist, plus a $25.00 gift card from Grapes Of Taste Wine Shop. Be listening for your chance to call in and win in the 6 o'clock hour.

Sheila Quinn mentioned this story this morning: Two James Madison University students in Harrisonburg were arrested and charged with Felony Snowball Throwing (is there really such a law?). First, they threw snowballs at a city snowplow.

OH, MY GOODNESS!!! ARE THESE GUYS CRAZY?????? DON'T THEY REALIZE HOW MUCH DAMAGE A SNOWBALL CAN DO TO A SNOWPLOW???

It's gets better. The driver of the snowplow called the Harrisonburg police. When they showed up in an unmarked car, these two dopes threw snowballs at them.

This whole thing is actually more serious than you might think. They could wind up having to each pay a $2,500.00 fine and they could each go to jail for up to five years (seriously). So, the lesson here: Don't throw snowballs...........especially at police cars.

Finally, http://www.tmz.com/ is reporting about a modern-day Robin Hood in Finland, who robbed a bank of $6,800.00, using a bow & arrow. Who robs a bank with a bow & arrow?

Here's the best part of the story. The police don't have a clue to the thief's identity........not even a gender. Witnesses say the robber was dressed like a woman and had breasts, but talked and sounded like a man. So, the police just aren't sure if the culprit is male or female.

Sounds to me like it could be Lady Gaga.

Major Storm, Gitmo Prisoners & Exploding Implants

2010-02-04T18:36:00.003-05:00

As you know by now, a major winter storm is headed this way. They're saying it could be one of the top ten worse storms to EVER hit the area. Tomorrow morning, and in fact, throughout the weekend, we'll keep you posted on the latest cancellation and postponements. But, in addition, as usual, we'll give away another Valentine's Day Prize Pack, and we'll play More's Mystery and give you another chance to win tickets to the Greater Richmond Boat Show, which has now been postponed until MARCH 4, 5 & 6.

The Fredericksburg SPCA's Chocolate Extravaganza which was scheduled for this weekend has also been postponed. It will now be held NEXT weekend. We'll talk about it tomorrow morning at around 8:30 when Debra Joseph joins me.

Here's a passing thought I had: I still haven't heard a definitive answer to the question WHERE WILL WE PUT THE GITMO PRISONERS WHEN THEY CLOSE IT UP?

How about sending all of them to Gilligan's Island?
Nobody ever gets off that thing.

Happy birthday today to Clint Black. He's 48 today.

Some very disturbing news today from a British Intelligence agency. They're saying the next terrorist threat could be exploding breast implants (No, I'm NOT making this up). According to the report, Muslin doctors trained in the west are returning to the Middle East, where they are giving female al-Qaeda suicide bombers breast implants filled with liquid explosives powerful enough to bring down a plane. Plastic surgeons say such implants would be almost impossible to spot without highly sophisticated x-ray equipment.

I'll bet there'll be no shortage of airport security guards willing to do the pat-down on this one, huh?

.....and you think the security line moves slowly NOW!

State Of The Union Address, Avatar & The Ultimate Vikings Fan

2010-01-28T17:43:00.005-05:00

I tried to stay up to watch President OH-bama last night, but it was one of the longest speeches on record. Who knew that when he says, "I won't quit", he was talking about his State of the Union Address. At around 10:15, I had to pack it in. Besides I couldn't take any more of Nancy "Bele Lugosi" Pelosi jumping up every five seconds clapping like a trained seal. I was waiting for somebody to toss her a beach ball, so she could balance it on her nose while clapping.

Did you catch Harry Reid yawning? Every time the camera was on him, he was yawning. I don't blame him. I was doing the same thing.

The Irish bookmaker Paddy Power had offered a long list of bets you could make online, on the speech, including which clichés OH-bama would say. The phrase "health care reform" paid the least at 4-1, followed by "as I stand here today" and "defining moment" (12-1 each). "Let me be clear" was 14-1, and "We have to make hard choices" was 25-1. In addition to those, there were some real long shots, as well. For instance, "Let's get ready to rumble", was 250 - 1, and "life is like a box of chocolates" was also at 250 - 1.

I have my own personal long shot here......I would've bet a huge amount of money that at no time during his speech would he say, "I'm coo-coo for Coco Puffs!" Sure enough, he never said it. Or then again, maybe he did say it. He might have said it last. Who knows? Everybody was asleep by then.

James Cameron's "Avatar" has officially become the highest-grossing film worldwide ever, beating out the previous record set in 1997. That was another James Cameron film, "Titanic". The really good news is he can do a sequel to "Avatar", something he could never have done with "Titanic". Let's face it, once the big ship goes down, that's pretty much the end of the story. Not much chance of a sequel there.

As I promised this morning, I wanted to make sure I got this guy's picture up for you today. Emmett Pearson is a 79 year-old farmer from Red Wing, Minnesota. He has not shaved his beard since 1974, and he says he will not until the Vikings win a super bowl. He started growing the beard in '74 when the Vikings lost to the Steelers in the Super Bowl that year, and added he will NOT shave it off until the Vikings win the big game. Any chances of that happening this year were shot down Sunday, when the Vikings lost to the New Orleans Saints. Pearson has five children, three of whom have never seen him clean-shaven. His wife of 53 years was praying the Vikings would win this year, so that he would finally shave it off.

Ironically, with this beard he's been growing for 35 years, he now sort of looks like a Viking.

Another Grant, Snow & A Book Recall

2010-01-26T20:02:00.004-05:00

Congratulations to Diane of Stafford who knew the answer to this morning's More's Mystery. It was "Pez Dispensers". Diane won a pair of tickets to the Fredericksburg Boat Show happening this weekend at the Fredericksburg Expo Center.

Tomorrow morning, we'll be looking for a person predominately known as a folk singer, but one who has crossed over into several music genres, including country, and who in 2008, made campaign appearances with John Edwards. Hey, there's something to be proud of, huh?

There is a great animal sanctuary in Orange called Rikki's Refuge. We've talked about them before. They do some really great work over there. From time to time, they have been eligible to win a grant to help their facility. All they need to win are votes. So, I'm asking for your help. Go onto their website at http://www.riikisrefuge.org/ and vote for them. It won't cost you one penny. It will take only moments, and let's see if we can get this done. We've come close before, but never got enough votes to win. Let's give it another shot. Remember, you can vote EVERY DAY. Vote and tell you friends and relatives to do the same.

It looks like more snow is on the way for the weekend. It's a little sketchy right now as to how much, but remember, you can always join us for the latest in cancellations, closings and delayed openings on Thunder 104.5, and on this website as well.

Another video of Osama Bin Laden surfaced over the weekend. In the video, he promised widespread death and destruction............unless Mylie Cyrus returns for at least one more season on Hanna Montana.

He also took responsibility for the effort to blow up a US airliner on Christmas Day.

Then, in a surprise announcement, he also promised that, later this year, he would be introducing his own signature line of exploding underpants.

Finally, I never heard of a book being recalled, but it's happening now. The U.S. Product Safety Commission has recalled the book, "Lowe's Complete Home Improvement & Repair.

The CPSC says the book is being recalled because following their wiring instructions could lead to users getting shocked, or worse, starting a fire. A spokesperson for the CPSC said, "The book contains errors in the technical diagrams and wiring instructions, which could lead consumers to incorrectly install or repair electrical wiring".

On the plus side, people who HAVE used this book, now say their TV makes GREAT toast.

John Edwards Comes Clean, Gary Coleman Gets Arrested & White Basketball Players

2010-01-25T17:05:00.007-05:00

John Edwards has done it again, but only because he had to. This King of Creeps from North Carolina has "come clean", and finally admitted to fathering a child out of wedlock, the result of a campaign-trail affair with Rielle Hunter, a videographer, while his wife, Elizabeth Edwards, was back home battling cancer.If, in a moment of bad judgement, you were thinking about applauding Hair Boy for being honest, let me remind you of a couple of things. Number one: The kid is now 22 months old. For 22 months, Edwards insisted the the child wasn't his. In fact, as I recall, he said the child couldn't possibly be his because the timeline was all wrong. Yeah, the timeline was all wrong because at the time, he was running for President.

For 22 months, when it came to John Edwards, DNA stood for "Do not acknowledge".

Well, maybe his conscience finally starting bothering him. Maybe he's not such a bad guy after all.

Wrong again. Next week, Andrew Young, Edwards' former campaign aide, is scheduled to go on national television in advance of the publication of his tell-all book, "The Politician." Young presumably will explain Plan A — how the Edwards inner circle decided that Young would take responsibility for fathering the child.

But even when he gets back into a corner and pretty much MUST make a public confession, the consummate politician that he is, he strategically makes the big announcement at a time when he knows the story will probably get buried. I mean take a look at what was happening at the time of this startling revelation: a natural disaster of immense proportions in Haiti, the Jay Leno-Conan O'Brian thing, Tiger Woods in a clinic for sex addiction. Is it any wonder very little attention was paid to Edwards "confession".

I still say it would have been more fun and definitely more entertaining had he gone on The Maury Povich Show.

"John, you ARE the father!"

Former child star.........turned.............whatever, Gary Coleman got himself arrested over the weekend for domestic violence in Utah. Last year, it was Coleman's wife, Shannon Price who got arrested for domestic violence. There's no confirmation that Price was the victim of Coleman's alleged violence. If she was, to prevent it from happening again, I suggest she go out and buy a pair of shin guards.

What do you think? Right before the police photographer took this mugshot, do you think he said, "Hey, Gary, on the count of three, say "WHACHOO TAKIN' BOUT, WILLIS?"

Finally, in the "THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD BE TROUBLE" department, Don "Moose" Lewis is starting up a new professional basketball league which, according to a press release issued last week, will start it's first season this June. The All-American Basketball Alliance (AABA) will be made up of only players who are "natural born United State citizens with both parents of Caucasian race". Lewis insists he is not a racist, but that he just wants to get away from the "street-ball" played by "people of color", and back to "fundamental basketball".
The AABA is targeting Southern cities, and several of them, including Augusta, Georgia, have told Lewis to "stay out of town"
Lewis says, "I don't hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here's a chance for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like."
Aside from the racial overtones, I just don't think this is a very good idea. I just don't see people coming out and paying to see these guys play basketball. It sounds to me like an entire league made up of the team that loses to the Harlem Globetrotters all the time.
I just don't see it happening. But I'll tell you what.......if it does take off, I'm forming an all-black hockey league.

Weird Phobias, A Big Pot & Food That Gives You The Trots

2010-01-22T18:02:00.005-05:00

Best Wishes to Debra Joseph, Director of the Fredericksburg SPCA, who could not be with us on this morning's show. She was feeling a bit under the weather. We look forward to having her back with us next Friday.

The answer to More's Mystery this morning was Billy Bob Thornton. It was disclosed that Billy Bob and his friend, Dwight Yokum, both suffer from the same bizarre phobia. I don't even know if there's a name for it. It's a fear of antique furniture. Thornton says he can't even be in the same room in which there's a piece of furniture made before 1950.

I disclosed publicly this morning, that I too suffer from a phobia. I have a fear of women who dress up as General Patton......
.......but that's a common one.

On Monday morning, More's Mystery will be a city. This city has become a major tourist attraction, with the majority of those tourists being seniors. More clues Monday morning.

Happy Birthday today to Linda Blair. She is 51 today.

Doesn't that make your head spin?? By the way, I haven't been able to eat pea soup ever since that movie came out.

Also, Happy Birthday to Graham Kerr, one of the original TV chefs, and known as "The Galloping Gourmet". In a recent interview, he said he now prepares only healthy meals, with foods rich in fiber.

...........which probably explains why he's always galloping.

Angel Guillen Raya of Ontario, Canada is in a whole lot of trouble. Raya's big rig was pulled over in San Bernadino County, California this week for making an unsafe lane change. Drug-sniffing dogs alerted police that Raya might have transporting something he wasn't supposed to be. When police opened Raya's trailer, they found pallets of marijuana stacked to the ceiling. In fact, they found 14 TONS of it!! That's not a mis-print. They found 14 TONS of marijuana.

Raya pleaded guilty to transporting marijuana with the intent to distribute.

Of course he was going to distribute it. It's 14 TONS!!! If he smoked it all himself, there would be a serious Twinkie shortage in the country.

Actually, he did INTEND to distribute it, but he kept driving around in circles looking for a Wendy's that was open at 3 A.M.

Wine & Chocolate, Happy Birthday, Dolly & Dumb Criminal-O-Rama

2010-01-19T18:17:00.006-05:00

The Fredericksburg SPCA is gearing up for their 7th Annual Chocolate Extravaganza, Friday, February 5 & Saturday, February 6. Friday night, it's two of my favorite things in the world, wine and chocolate at the Richard Johnson Inn featuring 6 wines and 6 desserts, including 2 international chocolates. Then on Saturday, it's the Sweet Sensations Taste Test at St. George's Episcopal Church, downtown featuring delicious desserts from over 25 area restaurants. This is a great way to enjoy some fabulous chocolate and wine and help support the Fredericksburg SPCA at the same time. For information, call 898-1500 extension 302, or go to the website http://www.fburgspca.org/.

Happy Birthday today to Drea de Matteo, married to Shooter Jennings, and who played Adriana on The Sopranos, until she got whacked by Paulie Walnuts. She is 38 today.

Also, Happy Birthday to Dolly Parton, looking amazing at the age of 64.WOW.....a surprisingly tough More's Mystery this morning. It took almost an hour to find a winner. Finally, it was Justin Beasley who came up with the correct answer, which was Mexico City.

Tomorrow morning, we'll be looking for a singer/musician, who moved to Nashville at the age of 19 and worked as a computer programmer while pursuing a music career. I'll have a couple more clues for you in the morning.

We haven't had any dumb criminals in awhile, so let's do two back-to-back.

Julie Laack of Sheboygan, Wisonsin was caught shoplifting on surveillance video at a local convenience store. Police tracked her down and went to her house to arrest her, at which time, Laack stripped ALL of her clothes off, explaining to the police that they can't arrest her because she's naked. The police blew that theory right out of the water. They arrested her. She was charged with three counts of retail theft. As part of a plea bargain, she pleaded no contest and was sentenced to six months in jail............where I'm sure she find a more appreciative audience for her stripping skills.

In Panama City, Florida, someone called the police and reported seeing a man walking out of their neighbors house. Their neighbors were away. Police arrived and arrested Danny Zane Tatum after they searched his truck and found stolen property, a pry bar, a black bag containing a variety of screwdrivers, a hacksaw, a pair of binoculars, a variety of knives and black gloves and a mask. Here's his alibi...........it's a beaut. He told police that the reason he had all that stuff, is because he was "like Batman" (yes, that's a quote), and was a crime-fighting vigilante on the side.

Yeah, he's a crime-fighting vigilante on the side, but his main job..............BURGLARY!!

Unimaginable Devastation, Brain Food For Babies & Big Canons

2010-01-18T16:52:00.003-05:00

At the time of of the 9-11 attack, Rae and I were living in Sea Bright, New Jersey. From our condo, we had a clear view of the World Trade Center. As the crow flies, it was probably about 10 miles away from us, but because it was just water between us, we could see it very well. I was on the road in Florida at the time of the attack. I had just wrapped up a week at Uncle Funny's Comedy Club in Fort Lauderdale, and was scheduled to do one more show at Johnson-Wales University that night before heading home. Needless to say, the Johnson-Wales show was cancelled, and fellow comedian Joe Miller and myself drove our rental car back home to Jersey, because obviously, all flights had been grounded. Like everyone, we listened to the reports on radio and watch the horror on TV. It sounded real bad, but it wasn't until a couple of months later that Rae and I hopped on the ferry to Manhattan. It was then we realized that the images on TV just could not convey the enormous devastation. It's a picture I'll never be able to fully get out of my head.

The point of all this is I doubt any of us can really comprehend the devastation and chaos taking place in Haiti right now. We might think we know how bad it is, but without actually seeing it, I doubt we really realize how awful this really is. On behalf of Thunder, I thank our listeners who came out to support our efforts this afternoon at Rob's Car Wash, to raise money for the American Red Cross and the Haitian Relief Fund. Thanks to you, Thunder (along with our sister station) was able to raise over $2,000.00 in 3 hours. Thank you all.

On a more cheerful note, in medical news this morning, scientists at the University of North Carolina are saying if you're pregnant, eat a lot of bacon and eggs. Scientists there are reporting that they have found pork products and eggs to contain a micro nutrient chemical called choline. Choline, it turns out, helps babies in the womb develop their brains. So, if you want a smart baby, eat a lot of bacon and eggs. Not only that, but I would think that all the bacon grease makes the delivery a lot smoother as well.

From medical news, we go to science news. A physicist by the name of John Hunter wants to shoot stuff into space using a 3,600-foot gun......a canon, if you will. He's dead serious about this - he's done the math. He says making deliveries to an orbital outpost like the International Space Station on a rocket costs about $5,000.00 per pound. Hunter says using his space canon would cut the cost down to around $250.00 per pound. He's been working on this project since 1992, and says his canon can send a half-ton payload into space at 13,000 miles per hour.

I know this guy's a physicist and all, and who am I to question him? He's a lot smarter than I am, but doesn't this sound like something out of a Road Runner cartoon? Shooting stuff into outer space using a canon??

......a canon from the Acme Canon Company, no doubt.

Anaheim, California, Weird Sheep & OH-bama, The Musical

2010-01-15T18:05:00.004-05:00

The very difficult More's mystery this morning, as I suspected it would be. The answer was Anaheim, California, settled in the mid-1800s by German immigrants, and chosen by the Ku Klux Klan in the 1920s as "a model klan city". In 1924, the Anaheim Klan secretly managed to get four of its members elected to the five-member Board of Trustees. Nine of the ten members of the police force were also Klansmen. The four Klan trustees served for nearly a year, until they were publicly exposed, and voted out in a recall election.

On Monday morning's show, More's Mystery will be looking for a comedian/actor/singer, who was adopted by his grandmother (wouldn't that make him his mother's brother?).

Some very bizarre science news out of Turkey this week: A sheep gave birth to a fetus that has a human-like face. A veterinarian in Turkey performed a Cesarean section on a sheep to take the calf out, but was horrified to see that the calf's snout bore a striking resemblance to a human face. The vet had this to say: “I’ve seen mutations with cows and sheep before. I’ve seen a one-eyed calf, a two-headed calf, a five-legged calf, but when I saw this youngster I could not believe my eyes."

This story has made international news and it could be a hoax. Here's the picture. You be the judge.

Is it possible for a sheep to be born with a human face? Well...........this IS Turkey we're talking about.............if you know what I mean.

Are you ready for "HOPE: THE OBAMA MUSICAL"? Yes, it's a new stage show and it's opening this weekend in Frankfurt, Germany. Thirty singers, dancers and actors will recreate OH-bama's 2008 "YES, WE CAN" presidential campaign in song. The show also includes a singing John McCain and Sarah Palin. Many of the lyrics to the songs in the show are taken directly from OH-bama's speeches, and the actor who portrays the OH-bama character gets to sing a love song to an actress portraying Michelle, and a duet with another actress who portrays Hillary Clinton.

I wonder if there's a French version called "YES, WE CAN-CAN"?

Here's a better question: I wonder if the lyrics to the songs are on a teleprompter?

Let's be serious.....if I wanted to go see a show that starts out with a lot of misplaced hope and then sinks fast, I'll go see "TITANIC: THE MUSICAL".

Mona Lisa's Smile, A Real Big Mac Attack & Fun With Gastroenterology

2010-01-11T16:42:00.003-05:00

My thanks to Brian Stroble for filling in for me this morning. By now, many of you know the reason why I took today off. It was time for me to go in for my colonoscopy. This is a routine medical procedure and EVERYONE (not just men, Kristin Nash) over the age of 40 should get this done every 5 to 10 years. If you have a history of colon cancer in your family, you should have it done at an even younger age. If you've never had this done, let me assure you that this test is completely,100% painless, and the procedure itself is relatively quick. You may have heard that the worst part is not the test, but the prep the day (or two days) before. The prep IS a little ugly. The Great Dr. Trible started my prep two days before. I was able to eat normally until 12 Noon of that day. At that point, you go on a pretty restricted diet. I ate tomato soup and grits for the rest of the day. That was it. The day BEFORE your test is when the fun really kicks in. Now, you're on a strictly liquid diet. I spent the day eating (or should I say drinking) chicken broth and green jello. I HATE JELLO! I never even liked it as a kid. At around High Noon, you start drinking this solution. I don't know what it is, but it tastes AWFUL. It tastes like salty Alka Seltzer, and you have to drink 2 liters of it.....one at 12 noon, and another one at around 7 P.M. What's the purpose of drinking this stuff, you ask. Well, within minutes from the time you start drinking this cocktail, you're going to want to use the bathroom, and you'll be in the bathroom a lot over the course of the next 10 or 12 hours. In fact, you'll be in there about every 10 or 15 minutes. So, you're starving, and running to the bathroom continuously. The good news is when all this ends later in the evening, the worse part is over. The actual test is nothing. In fact, before you know it, it's over. When it is over, do what I did. Rush over to the Cracker Barrel, eat the biggest breakfast available, and everything is back to normal.

Colon cancer is a very slow growing cancer, and if detected early, is almost always curable. So, this little inconvenience is a small price to pay for the peace of mind in knowing you're "clean".

I was also very lucky in picking the Great Dr. Trible, who I think is one of the best gastro guys in the area. I highly recommend him.

How do you know if you have a bad gastroenterologist? Well, if you lying face down on the table in that gown that's open in the back, and the doctor is getting ready to "go in"........if he puts on soft music and pops open a bottle of wine, I'd get out of there.

On More's Mystery tomorrow, we'll be looking for an entertainer. That's the category the listeners will hear, but since you're reading this blog, YOU will have a little more specific information. Specifically, we'll be looking for a comedian.

Speaking of doctors, here's one with way too much time of his hands: Dr. Vito Franco of Palermo University has spent years studying the Mona Lisa. The good doctor claims he has determined that Mona Lisa had high cholesterol. He says the portrait shows clear signs of a build-up of fatty acids under the skin, and a lipoma, which is benign fatty-tissue in her right eye.

This is all very interesting, but more importantly, I think it might help answer the age-old question: "What was Mona Lisa smiling about?" Perhaps she was smiling because she just got done eating a bag of pork rinds. Food for thought.

..........and in keeping with our health & food theme, you might have heard about the woman in Kansas City, Missouri who went berserk at a McDonalds because they served her what she claims, was an "inferior burger". She demanded a refund. The clerk refused to give her a refund, but did offer her another burger. At that point, apparently a screw came loose and the woman went wild. In front of customers, including children, she started throwing everything that wasn't nailed down. She threw a full bucket of water, a basket of straws, some cookies, a sign, one of those yellow Plastic "Wet Floor" signs, and all three of the cash registers went flying. If you didn't know any better, you'd think you were watching Bobby Knight in action.

Here's the really good news: all of this was caught on surveillance video. To check it out, go to http://www.kctv5.com/.

Police were called, but by the time they arrived, the woman was gone. The police would've arrived faster, but they heard the burgers weren't that good there.

No Speeding, No Heat & NO CHICKEN MCNUGGETS

2010-01-05T19:29:00.005-05:00

One thing I've noticed since moving down here two years ago, is that the police have zero tolerance for going over the speed limit. I was pulled over again this morning on my way in to the studio, on Church Station Road. Again, the officer could not have been nicer. Deputy Medina of the Spotsylvania Sheriff's Department was courteous and professional and informed me that I was going a little over the speed limit. A lot of people get mad at the police when they're given a ticket (which I was), but let's be honest, if you weren't doing anything wrong, you wouldn't have been pulled over in the first place. These guys are just doing what YOU pay them to do. If you want to get mad at somebody, get mad at yourself.

President OH-bama has announced that he plans to question and challenge his security team about the state of our national security, after the attempted terrorist attack on Christmas Day. My guess is the next time OH-bama goes to buy something, he's also going to be a dollar short too. At any rate, in depth questions will be asked this week by President OH-bama, comedian Joe Biden..........and The Salahis.

As only Murphy's law would have it, our home heating unit went out on us on Sunday. I immediately get nervous when this sort of thing happens for two reasons. One, you know that to get it repaired is going to cost $356,573,473,890.00, and two, when the plumbing/heating guy comes over, Rae and I are going to have to be subjected to the infamous "plumber's crack". But I did luck out. It turns out that the whole problem was caused by a piece of ice that had formed in one of the hoses. $130.00, and I never saw his crack. That's worth $130.00 right there.

Finally, we go to Toledo, Ohio. Melodi Dushane was arrested out there when she became upset because she was told, at a McDonalds drive-thru, that they do not serve Chicken McNuggets at 6:20 A.M. She leaped out of her car and punched the female clerk in the mouth. When the female manager came over to calm the whole thing down, Dushane punched her in the mouth! Police were called and she was arrested on a charge of felony vandalism. She pleaded not guilty at her arraignment and was ordered by the judge to have no contact with McDonals restaurants until her court date on January 28th.

I think somebody needs a Happy Meal.

It sounds like this chick is missing a few McNuggets in her head.

............and guys, here's the really good news......................SHE'S SINGLE!!!!!

Happy New Year, Charlie Sheen & What Many Of Us Have In Common With Tiger Woods

2010-01-04T12:49:00.004-05:00

Happy New Year! Hope you were among those who cranked up their radio to Thunder 104.5 on New Year's Eve to listen to our Top 30 Countdown. I was hosting the show from the home of Tommy Jacobs and his lovely girlfriend, Kellie in White Oak. We counted down the top 30 songs of 2009. I felt a little like Jeff Foxworthy..........except not getting paid as much................and not as funny. In case you missed it, our Number One song for 2009 was Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now".Not to brag, but I did call this. Without a doubt, it was my favorite song of '09, and I predicted it would come in first on our list. Apparently, I'm better at this than I was at the racetrack.

In the words of comedian Joe E. Lewis: "I follow the horses.................and the horses I follow...........follow the horses."

My wife, Rae, says the only reason I like the song "Need You Now" is because it has drinking in it.

"You only like songs that have drinking in them."

That's not true. I also like "Last Call", "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off", "It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere"...........................................come to think of it, I only do like songs that have drinking in them.

At any rate, I hope you have a great year, and isn't it starting off in a most unexpected way? Did you ever think that the year would start off with most of us making just as much money as Tiger Woods does these days?

Finally, I want to mention this big dope and typical Hollywood wacko, Charlie Sheen.

Actually, the REAL big dope here might be his wife, Brooke Mueller, who has announced that she will not pursue a divorce from Sheen, after he was arrested for choking her on Christmas morning. Ah, nothing says Merry Christmas like a nice domestic violence episode. Sheen was arrested on assault, menacing and criminal mischief. He was released on $8,500.00 bail.

Mueller says they will seek marriage counseling and try to work it out. Good luck on that one, Brooke.

This guy has a bad history.

He was arrested in 1996 for assaulting a women.

He ended up in the hospital in 1998 following a drug overdose and checked himself into rehab after his release. Subsequently, he was arrested for drinking and drunk driving and went back into rehab.

Not to mention his obsession with calls girls......Heidi Fleiss, the "Hollywood Madam", testified at her trial that Sheen was the only star who was client and paid her more than $50,000.00 over the years for escorts. You know how most people have "call waiting" on their phone? This guy probably has "call GIRL waiting" on his.

But Mueller wants to try to save the marriage.

Meanwhile, the friends of Tiger Woods' wife, Elin, say she too has decided to stay in that marriage. In her case, it's probably because she's now wearing a new diamond ring the size of a cantaloupe.

2009-12-24T17:24:00.004-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS

FROM MYSELF, MY WIFE, RAE,

THE MORE IN THE MORNING CREW:

KRISTIN NASH, PAUL HAYDEN & SHEILA QUINN,

AND EVERYONE AT THUNDER 104.5!!!

Oh, and WATSON, THE WONDER DOG!!!

Good-Bye, Rain Man, Drink And Think Purple & Snow In Copenhagen

2009-12-22T16:28:00.008-05:00

Congratulations to Carrie Underwood, who announced yesterday that she got engaged to hockey player Mike Fisher.There's probably a joke here somewhere about his stick, but we'll just move on.

From a happy note, we go to a sad note: The real-life "Rain Man" has died. He is the man who inspired the title character in the Oscar-winning movie.

Kim Peek was 58. Hmmmmmmmmm....I wonder how many seconds that is.

Some interesting medical news today: Drinking purple grape juice can reduce or even REVERSE memory loss. Experts believe antioxidants in the skin and juice of purple grapes are behind the results. Scientists at the psychiatry department of the University of Cincinnati carried out a study involving people with early memory loss. They found that those who drank grape juice showed great memory improvement. Therefore, they believe that drinking grape juice reduces and even reverses memory loss.

I should try this. Do you know how many times I walk into a room to get something and when I get into the room, I have no idea what I went in there for? Then I have to go back into the room I came from to try to figure it out. Actually, I DO drink a lot of grape juice, but in my case the grape juice is fermented which can actually CAUSE memory loss.

This colossal waste of time, money and energy known as the U.N. Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen is history. While these jokers were there trying to figure out how to stop global warming, the temperature there dropped to the mid-20s, cold even for Copenhagen this time of year, AND they got four inches of snow. Plus, President OH-bama had to leave early to get back to D.C. to deal with one of the worst blizzards in recent history.

I guess I have to hand it to these guys. They do seem to be doing a bang up job of keeping the temperature down.

Maybe they should hold the next conference in Death Valley.

As I'm sure you've figured out by now, I'm not a big fan of President OH-bama's, but I'm even less of a fan of the airlines. Earlier this week, the OH-bama administration ordered the airline industry to let passengers off planes if they are delayed on the runway for more than three hours. I think it's a good thing, but the media, who absolutely LOVES anything and everything this guy does, immediately hailed this as a "Christmas Miracle" A Christmas Miracle?? Now we're getting carried away. Beside, it doesn't go into effect for 120 days..............so enjoy those three months on the runway.

In addition, you are now entitled to a ticket refund if you have to sit next to A.) a crying baby, B.) a fat person, or C.) Joe Biden.
Alright, I made that last part up.

Snow In Virginia, Water In Florida & Jessica In The Woods

2009-12-21T16:54:00.007-05:00

Wow! What a wild weekend! So much for global warming. As a New Jersey native, I've seen my share of snowstorms in my day, but the one we had this weekend was one of the worst. It started snowing around 6 P.M. on Friday and didn't stop until late Saturday night........well over 24 hours of (pretty much) constant precipitation. There were two things I didn't have . One was a snow shovel, and two was a pair of boots. So both Rae and I headed out in search of a shovel and finally found a store that still had a few available. Getting home, I found myself shoveling snow for about 2 hours as I tried to clear the driveway. I'm not real big on this "manual labor" thing. In fact, I always though "manual labor" was the name of the guy who came around to shovel your driveway.

While I was out, I also needed a pair of boots. I went to a store over at Cosner's Corner, found a pair I liked and went up to the cashier to buy for them.

The cashier said, "That'll be $80.00, and would you like to purchase the extended warranty with those?"

"What?"

"Would you like to purchase the extended warranty with the boots? It'll be another $11.00?"

"An extended warranty on a pair of boots??? What could POSSIBLY go wrong with a pair of boots?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Yeah, you're right. I would be."

"I'm glad I had the extended warranty on my boots, Two months after I purchased them, the sole split in two."

"What are you telling me? That if two months from now, the sole on these boots split, I'm screwed?"

"Basically, yes".

"I'll take my chances. I pass on the extended warranty."

So that's what it's come down to. The quality of goods and services has sunk to such a low level in this country, that now they suggest you buy an extended warranty, even on a pair of boots.

I gotta get out of here.

Here's a little preview for More's Mystery tomorrow morning: We'll be looking for an actress who started in daytime soap operas, and can currently be seen every week on a popular ABC series.

Congratulations to Blake Wood of Fredericksburg. This morning's qualifier in Denny's Magic Of Christmas contest. We'll be looking for three more qualifiers this week, and then we'll have the grand prize drawing on Christmas Eve. This week's winner gets their mortgage payment or rent paid for next month. We'll be looking for our next qualifier tomorrow morning in the 7 o'clock hour.

In addition, don't forget to get those Miller Lite stories in to me. I need a story from you about your greatest Miller Lite moment or memory....any story involving Miller Lite. It doesn't matter whether it's funny or sad story, a happy or sad story.........in fact, I don't even care if it's true story or not. Just tell me your story and it automatically qualifies you for the Live New Year's Eve Countdown Party at YOUR house. You could wind up winning a free party on New Year's Eve with free food and free Miller Lite for you and 24 of your friends, and I'll be there live, along with the Thunder crew broadcasting the whole thing from YOUR living room. To get you story to me, call me any morning between the hours of 5 to 9 A.M., or you can e-mail your story to me at dennymore@thunder1045.com .

There has been some major flooding in South Florida. Chuck Lanza, Director of the Broward Emergency Operations Center, said a team of FEMA workers will be in South Florida to survey the extent of the damage. Most of the flooding is in the eastern Broward County and northeast Miami-Dade County.

Either they had a lot of rain down there, or Tiger Woods hit another fire hydrant.

Speaking of Tiger Woods, Jessica Simpson has officially become the first celebrity to be linked to Woods.

The Star tabloid is reporting that an anonymous source told them that the busty blond became very "close" with Tiger when she sang the national anthem at a golf tournament this past July. According to the source, Tiger "liked what he saw and let her know it". Jessica is threatening legal action against The Star. A spokesperson for Simpson says "Nothing went on. Jessica was only at the tournament for a few hours. She met Tiger, they took a photo together and that was it. The whole thing took two seconds."The way I see it, two seconds is all Tiger needs to be intimate with a woman. If he took any longer, he wouldn't possibly be able to fit them all it.

So, is the whole thing true or untrue? Who knows. I guess to be fair we really shouldn't presume that Tiger would even have any interest in Jessica. Why should we assume that he would interested in a gorgeous, sexy, buxom blond with no brains? What guy would want that?

Because of the snow this weekend, I had a chance to watch a lot of TV this past weekend. I have an odd mind and sometimes I'm my own best audience. Even on the air sometimes, you might hear me laugh for no apparent reason. Chances are it's me entertaining myself in my head. I'll have a though pop into my brain that, unfortunately, I can't verbalize without fear of either offending someone or violating an FCC rule. The point of all this is this: Over the weekend, I spent most of the time flipping back and forth between the Western Channel and Fox News. At one point, Nancy "Bela Lugosi" Pelosi was on blabbing about something, and I was sitting there saying to myself, "Who does she look like?". Then it hit me. It's not WHO does she look like, It's WHAT does she look like? Thanks to an over-abundance of Botox, Pelosi perpetually has this look like she just opened her first Easy-Bake Oven on Christmas morning.

New Year's Eve, More Bad Numbers For OH-bama & A Unique, Morbid, Goulish Gift

2009-12-15T18:35:00.004-05:00

Qualifying continues tomorrow morning for Denny's Magic Of Christmas. Nancy Noxon of Fredericksburg was this morning's qualifier. We'll only be taking two more qualifiers this week, so if you're one of them, your chances of winning the grand prize for the week are one-in-four. Not bad! That grand prize is me paying one of your monthly bills, and this week, we're down to either your car payment or mortgage (or rent). Be listening for your chance to call in and win in the eight o'clock hour tomorrow morning.

Come Monday morning, I'm going to be busier than Nancy Pelosi's Botox supplier because we will be getting qualifiers for the final week of Denny"s Magic Of Christmas, but in addition, we will start taking qualifiers for our New Year's Eve contest. You could win a catered party for you and 25 of your friends at your own house, all thanks to the great people at Miller Lite. Not only that, but I'll be there as well, broadcasting live.................yes, FROM YOUR HOUSE!!! How do you qualify? Starting Monday, I'll be asking you to call in with your favorite Miller Lite taste moment, any great story in which Miller Lite was somehow involved. If you're chosen, we'll be bringing the party to your house. Keep listening for details.

For More's Mystery tomorrow, we'll be looking for an actor who originally wanted to be a ballet dancer, and who, in fact, studied ballet for years.
More bad poll numbers for President Barack OH-bama. According to a Public Policy Poll, 44% of Americans would prefer George W. Bush back in office as President Of The United States. That same poll shows 20% of Americans believe OH-bama should be impeached (I have no idea why). But then, those people thought about it and realized that comedian Joe Biden would be next in line for the job, and they said, "Whoop, Never mind. We're good. We're good".

Thanks to our morning news babe, Sheila Quinn for pointing this out to us: Robert G. Heft, who is credited with designing and sewing America's first 50-star flag has died at the age of 67. He made the flag in 1958 to commemorate Alaska and Hawaii joining the union. He spent more than 12 hours sewing the design on his mother's Singer sewing machine. Is this really a big deal? I mean I suspect he pretty much got the idea from looking at the previous 48-star flag and sticking 2 more stars on it.

Finally, if you're looking for a unique holiday gift, CremationSolutions.com might have the answer: The Personal Urn. Send them a couple of pictures of the loved one, and using advanced 3D computer imaging, they will create an exact, life-size replica of the departed's head. It's painted to look amazingly realistic. There's no hair on it, but for an additional cost, the company will provide you with a suitable wig for the finishing touch. A spokesperson for CremationSolutions.com refers to the urn as "a family heirloom that will be cherished for generations."

...and I'm sure it's comforting the way the eyes seem to follow you as you walk around the room.

As usual, I have an idea to improve this product. How about a Chia version!!

Seriously, this really is a great gift because there's so much you can do with it. For instance, around this time of year, you can put it on your porch with a white beard and Santa hat.

Holiday Fun, Enviromentalist Hypocrites & A New Endorsement Job For Tiger

2009-12-09T16:31:00.006-05:00

Thunder Holiday Party #2 is happening tomorrow night. I'll be out at Buffalo Wild Wings in Central Park (right behind the Santa Fe Car wash) from 5 to 7 P.M., and of course, YOU"RE invited. I'll be out there with the Thunder Crew with a lot of laughs and some great prizes to give away. I look forward to seeing you out there!!

Happy Birthday today to one-hit wonder, Sylvia ("Nobody"). She's 53 today. Felicity Huffman from Desperate Housewives is 47, and Donny Osmond is 52 today.

HOW DEPRESSING IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 12-day Copenhagen Climate Conference is in full swing. This immense waste of time, money and effort is expected to draw 15,000 delegates from around the world, plus 5,000 journalists, 98 world leaders and of course, a huge number of Hollywood stars, who can't get enough of this whole global warming madness.

Here's a few stats most in the mainstream media will probably NOT pass along to you. It is estimated that during the 12 days, this Fandango will generate over 41,000 TONS of CO2. That's as much as the entire nation of Morocco generated in the year 2006. It's a shame they have to do so much damage to the environment travelling like that.

If only there was some sort of...........I don't know..............electronic device or something.......that would enable people to talk to each other over great distances.

Then again, there's probably no better way to illustrate the need to reduce CO2 to stop the dreaded global warming than by taking a private jet to Scandinavia in December. What a bunch of fake, phony frauds.

Hey, look, I don't know if global warming is actually taking place, but neither do you. For every scientist who pops up to say it's true, another one will pop up to say it's NOT true. But let's give these bleeding heart wackos the benefit of the doubt. Let's say the earth really is getting warmer. I say we didn't do it. We humans had NOTHING to do with with. I believe that IF (and it's a big IF) it really is taking place, it's a natural cycle of the earth that will work itself out. Just like we didn't cause it, we can't stop it. This environmentalist/global warming insanity is a bunch of propaganda being circulated for the purpose of scaring you, and ultimately controlling you and how you live.

Comedian George Carlin put it best. The earth has been around for millions and millions of years, and has been through and survived some of the most horrendous natural catastrophes imaginable including floods, hurricanes, tornados, typhoons, volcanoes, heat waves, frigid temperatures, glaciers, meteors, comets, droughts, earthquakes, the list goes on and on, and humans had absolutely nothing to do with causing any of them. And guess what. The earth survived and in fact, thrived during some periods following these natural disasters. The earth will continue to survive for a long, long time......long after all of us are gone, and what kind of light bulb we use will have NOTHING to do with it.

To sum it all up: The earth isn't going anywhere. We are.

Elsewhere, Tiger Woods continues to take a hit on some of his marketing endorsements.

Marketers have removed all ads featuring Woods from prime time on all major broadcast networks and 19 cable channels until further notice. In addition, Gatorade has dropped him as a spokesperson. They will also be dropping his signature drink, Tiger Focus. Worst of all, Playgirl Magazine claims they have obtained naked pictures of Woods. Playgirl says they're holding off on doing anything with them until they're authenticated. Well, apparently there are hundreds of women out there who can authenticate them. I'm beginning to think you need a camera with an incredibly fast shutter speed to get any photos of this guy with his clothes ON.

You probably won't see Tiger on Wheaties breakfast cereal boxes much longer either. I think he will always be able to find product endorsement jobs, but just for different types of products and businesses. All things considered, I think he'd be a natural to be a spokesperson for Safelite Auto Glass.

But finally, there is some good to come out of the whole Tiger Woods thing. GM has made a deal with Tiger to repair his Cadillac Escalade, the one from his "accident", and eventually auction it off, with the money going to charity.

.............and this car has some value to it because this is the car in which he had an affair with the OnStar lady.

See you tomorrow night at Buffalo Wild Wings!

Firkin And Bulldog, Ogre In The Woods & A Grown Man Identifying Himself As "Wink"

2009-12-04T16:05:00.004-05:00

If you weren't at the Firkin & Bulldog Pub last night in Stafford, you missed a good time. It was the site of our first of three holiday parties we're hosting. The next one is next Thursday night and will be held at Buffalo Wild Wings in Central Park. I'll be there and hope you will be too.

Happy Birthday today to TV personality Wink Martindale. He is 75 today. Max Baer Jr, who played Jethro in the classic Beverly Hillbillies, is 72 today, and the lovely, lovely Marisa Tomei, who in my eyes, will always be Mona Lisa Vito in My Cousin Vinny, is 45 today.
The Tiger Woods thing was the topic of discussion this morning. I haven't had so many calls coming in on any one particular subject in a long time. People's opinions on this seem almost completely divided among gender lines. Women seem to think he is a disgusting piece of trash. Men think it's no big deal, none of our business and he should be left alone.

Me..............I have no dog in this race. Whatever this guy has done and however it turns out will not affect me one bit. But the fact remains that Woods is a high-profile public figure, who up until now, had a squeaky clean image. People are fascinated to learn that he is just as much of a pig as most men. That, plus the fact that as I've always believed, many people have no real lives to speak of, and they live vicariously through these various celebrities, movie stars and sports figures.

In any event, this guy's problems continue to mount, and twists and turns in this story keep happening almost every hour. According to "The Daily Beast", Woods has agreed to pay his wife $5 million up front and another $55 million over the next two years to persuade her to stay in their marriage for, at least, that two-year period. I can't imagine her NOT doing that. Heck, I'd live with the guy for two years for that kind of money. It sounds like a lot of money, BUT the word is that if they divorce, even with the prenuptial agreement, she could walk away with about a half a billion dollars. If I were her, I'd go for the divorce. She'd be financially set for the rest of her life and would no longer have to be worried about what this guy is doing out on these tours. Plus, let's face it, she certainly doesn't have to worry about getting a date.

Ogre Winfrey has entered into this fiasco. She called Woods to offer him advice and reassurance. She also offered him the opportunity to come on to her show to tell his side of the story. If you think about it, he also HAS to take her up on the offer. If he doesn't, Ogre could wind up going to all of his extra-marital chickiepoos, and putting THEM on the show. These ladies are eventually going to find themselves on TV anyway, so he might as well go on and at least get his side of the story out.

Better yet, I think Ogre should have him on the show ALONG WITH his wife AND the mistresses, but not tell him they are there until they get on the air. "Tiger, we have a little surprise for you! Backstage are your wife and mistresses. LADIES....COME ON DOWN!!!"

Legally, Woods got a ticket for his accident with a $165.00 fine plus two points on his license. This is no laughing matter to be taken lightly. Those points could very well raise his car insurance premiums.

A Firkin Holiday Party, A Bad Weekend For The Hasselhoffs & An Engaged Chelsea

2009-12-02T18:16:00.003-05:00

Our live remote broadcast scheduled for this afternoon at the commuter lot with Martz Commuter Services, behind Ukrop's, was postponed because of the weather. It definitely would've been a bad hair day................probably a 9 on the Denny More Bad Hair Day Scale. It'll be re-scheduled. We'll keep you posted.

I am hosting a series a holiday parties for the next three Thursdays. Tomorrow night, the party is at Firkin & Bulldog (No, I'm not cursing. That's the name of the place.). It's on Route One in Stafford. I'll be out there live from 5 to 7 P.M. Come on out and party with me!!!!

Entertainment News:

David Hasselhoff has been released from a California hospital following his hospitalization for a "seizure" over the weekend, and where he was on "psychiatric hold". I don't even know what that means, but it doesn't sound good. The troubles don't stop there. Hasselhoff's ex-wife, Pamela Bach, was arrested over the weekend for drunk-driving.

I'm surprised these two broke up. They seem meant for each other. One eats a hamburger on the floor of his bathroom while his daughter videotapes it. The other one, whose whole claim to fame in life is being David Hasselhoff's ex-wife gets popped on a DUI. Nice family.

Speaking of nice families.......................Chelsea Clinton, the 29 year-old daughter of former President Bill "Slick Willy" Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham "Eva Perone" Clinton, has become engaged to her longtime boyfriend, 31 year-old Marc Mezvinsky.

The couple sent an e-mail over the holiday weekend announcing the news. They say they're looking at a possible wedding date next summer.

Mezvinsky is the son of former Pennsylvania Representative Marjorie Margolies-Mezvinsky and former Iowa Representative Ed Mezvinsky, a longtime friend of the Clintons. Ed Mezvinsky was released from federal prison last year, after serving nearly a five-year sentence for bank fraud.

So, the groom's father just got out of prison and the bride's father is an impeached president. Nice gene pool to work with.

Rosner, Holiday Bill Paying & Party Crashers At The White House

2009-11-27T17:19:00.003-05:00

How would you like to buy a car for $5.00? No, it's not a typo. Tomorrow morning beginning at 11, I will be broadcasting live from Rosner Toyota of Stafford, and yes, they will be selling some cars as low as $5.00. They've had these $5.00 sales before and they are hugely successful. In addition, I'll have the Thunder crew with me and we'll be serving up FREE Papa John's Pizza, FREE Snapple tea, plus you can take a FREE spin of the Thunder Prize Wheel and possibly walk away with a nice prize. Most of all, I look forward to these live remotes because they give me a chance to meet you face-to-face. So, come on out tomorrow morning anytime between 11 to 1.

I always hate referring to myself in the third person because it makes me feel like Bob Dole, but we do have a new contest starting on Monday called "Denny's Magic of Christmas". From now until Christmas, we'll be picking one winner every week. That winner gets me to pay off one of your monthly bills. It might be your phone bill, heating bill, electric bill, maybe even your car payment........or maybe even your mortgage or rent!!!! Who couldn't use that around this time of year. Be listening starting Monday morning for your "cue" to call in. When you hear it, be the 10th caller. If you are, you will automatically win a great prize, and more importantly, you will qualify to be our weekly winner who gets a bill paid.

A serious breach of security at the White House this week. The OH-bamas held their first state dinner on the evening before Thanksgiving. Somehow, a couple of reality show wannabes, Tareq & Michael Salahi manged to get past the Secret Service and get themselves into the party without an invitation (The Secret Service was probably too busy making sure no Republicans got in). Tareq, by the way, is a former Washington Redskins cheerleader. Here's a picture of the party crashers posing with comedian Joe Biden on the evening in question.

This, of course, is a huge embarrassment to the White House and the Secret Service, and I'm sure an investigation is ongoing.

Then, of course, there was that other embarrassing moment that evening, when the D.C. Police were called and told that there were some people in the White House who didn't belong there..............and the police showed up and tasered the OH-bamas.

The Angel Tree, The Quote Of The Week & Trouble In Berlin

2009-11-20T17:01:00.007-05:00

First, a sad note: Apparently, this late this morning, Miley Cyrus' tour bus flipped over here in Virginia. Cyrus herself was not on the bus. This is a bus which transports technical people involved in the show. One person was killed. I'm sure an investigation will follow.

Kicking off today: The Fredericksburg SPCA Angel Tree is up. Stop in at their new facility at 10819 Courthouse Road and choose an angel you would like to sponsor. Also, remember the SPCA Holiday Open House, December 12th & 13th. Let's not forget the homeless animals this holiday season. For more info, go to their website at fburgspca.com.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

It comes from President Barack OH-bama who said, "The American people could lose confidence in the U.S. economy if our debt continues to grow".

First of all, he's one of the reasons our debt continues to grow, but even funnier than that, does this guy actually believe that the American people currently HAVE confidence in the U.S. economy? Who is prepping this guy before he goes on? Comedian Joe Biden?

Speaking of comedian Joe Biden, it's his birthday today. The Vice President is 67 today. Josh Turner is 32 today,

and Dierks Bentley is 34

And Happy Birthday today to the world's sexiest Republican. No, not Sarah Palin.

Bo Derek. She's 53 today and still a "10".

Some trouble this week for former basketball star Dennis Rodman. Rodman was playing in a USA Legends Of Basketball exhibition game in Berlin, Germany. The organizers of the event agreed to pay for Rodman's hotel room, but did NOT agree to pay his bar tab, which totaled $3,500.00. When Rodam left the hotel without paying , the hotel called the police. The German police caught up with him at an airport in Berlin just as he was about to board a plane back home. Rodman eventually agreed to pay the bill, plus an additional $1,700.00 to dismiss possible legal proceedings.

So, he almost made it out of the country, but got snagged at the airport. That doesn't surprise me. It probably takes this guy two hours to go through the metal detectors.

The Answer To More's Mystery, A Lost Dog & Some Denny More Logic

2009-11-18T18:08:00.003-05:00

A tough More's Mystery this morning. In fact, the toughest we've had ever. The answer was "Tarzan". Here's a preview of tomorrow's mystery: We'll be looking for a person. Despite being world-famous, this person is extremely private, almost hermit-like, rejects popularity, and refuses to sign autographs. More clues in the morning.

We have a report of a lost dog in the Quantico area. I hate to hear this sort of thing. If you have a dog, you know it is a part of your family, and when they're lost, it's heartbreaking. This is an older, female Beagle, tri-colored, wearing a pink collar with tags, and answers to the name "Freckles". Freckles was lost over the weekend and hope is someone found her and is holding on to her. If you have any information regarding Freckles, please e-mail me or call 540 842-3313.

Anthony Carrazco of Brownsville, Texas might want to think about getting a different job. His door-to-door salesman gig didn't go so well. At around 2:30 in the morning, Carrazco thought it would be a good idea to head out and sell marijuana door-to-door in his neighborhood.

I guess since he had been drinking, this seemed like a good idea at the time. Unfortunately, one of the doors he knocked on belonged to an off-duty police office, who grabbed his badge and placed Carrazco under arrest. Police report they found a scale, three ounces of pot and a gun in his possession. He was jailed on charges of possession of marijuana and possession of a prohibited weapon. I guess the reason he was carrying a gun is because at that hour, you never know what kind of weirdo is going to come to the door.

I wonder if his "job" was counted among those allegedly saved or created under the OH-bama stimulus.

Here's a classic question of asking the wrong question: Gregory Torrey of Bellingham, Washington was arrested for shoplifting a pencil from a store in Bellingham. Yes, a pencil. In addition, he had an outstanding warrant from the nearby town of Everett, Washington. At the time of his arrest, he was carrying $600.oo in cash .

Police are scratching their heads asking the question, "Why would anybody shoplift a pencil?"

Denny More logic: A better question.............why does a shoplifter need $600.00 in cash?

I'm willing to bet that at one point, he had $700.00 in cash, but he gave $100.00 to a guy selling pot door-to-door.

The Wrong Line, Too Much Money & A Lot Of Spiders

2009-11-16T17:45:00.004-05:00

My thanks to everyone who came out to be a part of our live remote broadcast at Rosner Toyota of Fredericksburg. I have another one coming up on Saturday, November 28. I'll give you the details as we get closer.

Why is it I consistently have a knack for selecting the wrong line at the drive in window at the bank? I stopped by Wachovia Bank this morning to cash a check. There were 3 open lines and each line had a car currently being served. HMMM-mmmm, this is a tough call. I decide to get behind the white car. Sure enough, the other two cars finish up and drive away, and there I am, still sitting behind the guy in the white guy. Now, other cars pull up and, of course, go to the two remaining open windows. They both finish THEIR transactions and drive away. I'm still sitting behind the guy in the white car. Now, I turn to Rae, who was sitting next to me, and I say, "What can this guy POSSIBLY be doing at a bank drive-up window that's taking so long? Let's face it, for the most part, you can only do one of three things at a bank drive-up window: Make a deposit (or payment), make a withdrawal or cash a check. What is this guy doing?" Ah, here comes the cylinder back from the bank, through the tube and back to this big dope in front of me. Finally, I can get up there and cash my check. The guy reaches over, grabs the tube, takes his stuff up, and now, he's sitting there. He's probably counting his money to make sure it's right. Three minutes later, he's still sitting there. Finally, I see some movement. Oh, no, he put more stuff in the cylinder and is sending it back. Now, I think it's time to back up and move into one of the other empty windows. Just as I make that decision, two other cars pull up and THEY pull into those empty windows. Eventually, the guy finally moved on. When I got up to the window, I said to the teller: "What was that guy doing, applying for a mortgage?"

Rae and I left there and went over to the Giant at Harrison Crossing. We were only buying about 4 or 5 items. We got in line where only one other couple was finishing up. It was then I heard the woman say to the cashier, "BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO GET 30 CENTS OFF THE RESOLVE".

"I'm sorry. I'll have to call a manager."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

You always hear about these people who win millions in the lottery,who a few years later, are flat broke, or these athletes and movie stars who make millions and millions of dollars a year, year after year, only to wind up filing for bankruptcy, or getting busted for not paying their taxes.

Case in point (and it explains a lot): Actor Nicholas Cage owes $6 million in back taxes and he's selling off some of his property in order to do that.

Here's where Nick might have gone wrong. Over the years, he's purchased a jet, 2 yachts, 3 castles (why does anyone need one castle, let alone 3), two islands in the Bahamas, a $1.6 million comic book collection, a Bob's Big Boy statue, 50 cars, including a $496,000.00 Lamborghini, and a dinosaur skull for $276,000.00.
It's a bit excessive, don't you think?
The way this guy likes to spend money, I think he should quit acting and run for Congress.

Finally, a story that came across one of the wires today: A British man was arrested at the Rio de Janeiro airport because x-ray machines detected (literally)thousands of live spiders in his luggage. He was charged with smuggling exotic pets.

My thought on this is the guy either IS a smuggler of exotic pets OR he stayed at a really, REALLY bad hotel.

Thunder On The Road, A Woman On The Tracks & Diaper Girl Goes To Court

2009-11-12T17:42:00.004-05:00

I already told you that I'll be out doing a live appearance this Saturday at Rosner Toyota of Fredericksburg starting at 12 Noon for their Customer Appreciation Day. Prior to that, beginning at 10 A.M., Braden Smith will be out making an appearance at American Indoor Karting, Fredericksburg's new indoor go karting facility located in Central Park (formally the ice skating rink). He'll be out there with The Thunder Crew. Go out and have some fun with Braden, then stop by Rosner and say, "Hi" to me!

Everyone is hailing train driver Charice Lewis as a hero, as well they should. You've probably seen the video by now of Charice preventing an absolute disaster taking place last Friday in Boston, Massachusettes. A 26 year-old intoxicated woman fell off the train platform, on to the tracks, and was so bombed, she couldn't get up. Charice's train was approaching the station when she saw the woman lying in the tracks and quickly pulled the emergency brakes. Charice was able to stop the train right in front of the woman. In fact, it was so close, when the train stopped, it was literally covering a portion of the woman's body. The woman attempted to stand up and walk away, but fell on the tracks AGAIN. She was taken to a local hospital and released. The woman admitted to police that prior to this incident taking place, she had four 22-ounce beers, but added she does NOT have a drinking problem.
She drinks, she gets drunk, she falls down in front of trains............What could POSSIBLY be the problem??????
Next time, maybe she should just drive home. Well......no, I guess that wouldn't be a good idea either.

It's hard to believe that it's been 2 years already, but remember the case of former NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak.

This nut case drove almost non-stop from Texas to Florida. How do you drive that distance without stopping to go to the bathroom? She had that all figured out. She was wearing an adult diaper. She was also wearing a wig and a trench coat, and carrying a mallet, a knife, a BB-gun, rubber tubing, duct tape and some plastic garbage bags. The purpose of this trek was to kill the girlfriend of a fellow astronaut Nowak was in love with. The girlfriend was hit with some pepper spray, but managed to escape. Nowak, on the other hand, was caught by police and arrested.

Her case came to court this week. She agreed to plead guilty to burglary and battery. The judge in the case ordered her to stay away from her intended victim, and sentenced her to 2 days in jail, a year's probation, 8 hours of anger management classes, and 50 hours of community service.

This brings up the question: What would be a good community service for her to be assigned to? How about driving a bus for a senior citizen's center......

.......where everyone on board would be wearing diapers.

Morgan On More, More At Rosner & More Dumb Criminals

2009-11-09T19:04:00.005-05:00

A couple of programming notes:

I will be doing a live remote broadcast this Saturday at Rosner Toyota of Fredericksburg starting at High Noon, and I would love for you to stop by for a few minutes to say, "Hi". It's all part of their Customer Appreciation Weekend.

I am thrilled to tell you that Lorrie Morgan will be joining me on the show this Wednesday morning.
Lorrie has a lot on her plate these days. She has a new CD out. She's also headed to Broadway. She has a starring role in the new musical "Pure Country", a Broadway adaptation of the hit movie of the same name, and she's opening a restaurant.

Forty-four years ago today was the "Great Blackout", plunging several Northeastern states and parts of Canada into darkness for 14 hours.

Exactly one year later, on this date in 1966, Beatle John Lennon met Yoko Ono at an art exhibit in London.

I would've guessed that he met her during a blackout.

Dumb criminal this morning: 21 year-old Calvin Hoover of Salem, Idaho, who called 911 over the weekend to report that someone stole his marijuana.

Hoover told the 911 dispatcher that while he was in a bar, someone broke into his truck and stole $400 in cash, a jacket, and about 3/4 of an once of marijuana, valued at about $180.00.

Deputy Ryan Clarke went to the tavern, but was unable to find Hoover. About an hour later, Hoover called 911 again, complaining that the police hadn't shown up. The dispatcher said she had trouble understanding Hoover because he was driving and had to keep stopping to vomit. Police finally caught up with him. He was arrested for driving under the influence of intoxicants.

For you ladies out there, here's the good news: HE'S SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Election 2009, Don't Swallow Your Gum & Taking A Stab At It

2009-11-05T16:40:00.005-05:00

Another Election Day is history. There were two major gubernatorial races the whole country was watching. One was here in Virginia. Bob McDonnell coming out on top of that one by a landslide. The other race everybody was watching was in my home state of New Jersey. I'm happy the people of The Garden State finally came to their senses and voted that louse Jon Corzine out of office. New Jersey has had some embarrassingly bad governors over the years. There was Brendan Byne, Flim-Flam Florio, the gay American, Jim McGreevy, but by far and away the all-time worst was Corzine. He was beaten by Chris Christie. Christie's a good guy and I wish him and Governor-Elect McDonnell good luck.

Very fitting for New Jersey, they now have a governor who, I think, looks like Bobby Bacala from The Sopranos. Here's Bobby Bacala......

Here's Governor-Elect Christie.............
I don't know, you be the judge.

With Republicans winning big time throughout the country, the quote of the day came from House Speaker Nancy (Bela Lugosi) Pelosi, who on Wednesday said (I'm not making this up here),

"From our perspective, we won last night."

It takes a lot of Botox to be able to say that with a straight face.

There's a book out on the market that I definitely want to get a copy of. It's called "Don't Swallow Your Gum". It was written by Dr. Aaron E. Carroll and Dr. Rachel Vreeman. They are both professors of pediatrics at the Indiana University School of Medicine, and the book is available from Amazon.com. The doctors debunk medical myths that are flatly NOT true, but believed by many people. Here are a few samples:

The title of the book comes from the myth that if you swallow your gum, it'll stick to your stomach. Not true.

You may have heard that people use only 10% of their brain. Not true. The doctors say MRIs show that indeed people are using 100% of their brain. (How sad is that?)

Your hair and nails do not keep growing after you die as many people believe.

Sugar does NOT alter a child's behavior and make them hyperactive. The doctors say that's a myth.

(I know a lot of mothers who would say the doctors are nuts)

You might have heard that you should never wake up a sleepwalker because doing so could give that person a stroke or heart attack. Not true.

I've heard this one for years: Eating late at night and then going to bed will cause you to gain weight. Not true.

Remember how your mother used to tell you to always wear a hat in the winter because most of your body heat escapes from the top of your head? Not true.

Here's another one we've all heard: A dog's mouth is cleaner than a humans mouth. Not true.

(I never bought into that one. We've all seen what dog's do with their mouths)

Finally, as a guy who wears a size 8 shoe, I was glad the doctors have determined that, contrary to popular belief, there is absolutely NO correlation between the size of a man's hands or feet and his genitals.

We wrap up with a follow-up to a story we talked about yesterday morning about the guy in Colorado who stabbed himself in order to get out of a day's work at his job at Blockbuster Video. He's 29 year-old Aaron Siebers, who instead of just calling in sick, like anybody else would do, this big dope actually took a knife and stabbed himself on his way to work. Then he went into work and came up with this story about how he was attacked walking to work by three skinheads or Hispanics. Well, which was it, skinheads or Hispanics...........big difference. His boss at Blockbuster called the police. He was taken to a local hospital. When he was released, the police informed him that his story just didn't gel. That's when Siebers admitted that he stabbed himself to get out of work.

Well, the new development is after consideration, police decided to arrest Siebers for making a false report. As this is being written, he is sitting in jail.

The question remains: Why would you stab yourself just to get out of work. I've been thinking about it. I think the REAL reason he stabbed himself is because he's 29 and still working at Blockbuster.

Black Faces, Drunk Driving & A Cold Day In China

2009-11-02T17:28:00.006-05:00

We've all been fighting off this "bug" at Thunder. Penny Wack has finally lost her voice completely. Kristin Nash will be filling in for her midday tomorrow.

A lot to get to today, so let's get to it.

I promised you a picture of these two this morning.
This is Ahmed Muhamed Dore of Somalia. He's 112 years old. Pictured with him, is his new wife. They were just married last week. Her name is Safia Abdulleh. She's 17 years old. Dore was born in 1897 and has been married five times before. He has 13 children from those previous marriages. His oldest son is 80! Dore says he and his new bride are also planning on having children. Great! She'll be diapering both her kids AND her husband simultaneously. The funniest quote out of all this came from Dore, who when asked about the obvious glaring age difference, said, "It's irrelevant. I love her. She makes me feel young."

Makes him feel young???? What does that mean in this guy's case? When he was 90??

"I feel so young..............like I'm 90 all over again!!"

NEXT: Right out of a comedy.............

In China, 25 year-old Sun Meng was having an affair with a married woman when the woman's husband returned home prematurely (I used to HATE when that happened). Naked as the day he was born and panicked, Meng took off out the window where he perched himself on top of an air conditioning unit, all of this happening several stories up. Once he got out there, he was sort of stuck with nowhere to go, forced to listen to the husband yelling abuse at him. But that wasn't the worse part. A neighbor across the street decided to take a picture of this fandango and post it on the Internet.

Meng says this has been terribly humiliating. He said, "People are making fun of how I look naked, but I must point out it was a very cold day".

The strange case of Mary Strey in Wisconsin:

Mary went out this past Saturday night and enjoyed 7 or 8 brandy and cokes, got behind the wheel of her car to drive herself home, then decided to call 911 to turn herself in.

Strey: "I want to report a drunk driver."

911 Dispatcher: "You behind them?"

Strey: "I am them."

911 Dispatcher: "You am them?"

Strey: "Yes, I am them."

You am them? It sounds like the dispatcher was as drunk as Mary. Mary was charged with driving drunk and operating a vehicle with a blood-alcohol level of 0.1 or more.

I wonder if they also gave her a ticket for talking on her cellphone while driving.

But far and away, these two are my favorites. Matthew McNelly and Joe Miller of Carroll, Iowa decided to rob an apartment. But they needed a disguise. They didn't want to use masks. Masks get in the way when you're trying to burglarize a joint. Then it hit them. They would blacken their faces. So far, these guys sound like just a couple of nit wits, but what they did next elevates them to BIG DOPES!!!!!! To blacken their faces, these idiots used a Magic Marker..........PERMANENT MAGIC MARKER. Long story, short: They were caught and arrested on charges of attempted second-degree burglary, and a mugshots are fabulous.

The two have hired attorneys to represent them, but when contacted by the media, the lawyers had no comment. They were probably laughing too hard to comment.

I think in addition to burglary charges, they should also have been arrested for impersonating Al Jolson.

The Heenes, Pills & Pot

2009-10-27T17:20:00.007-04:00

A tough More's mystery this morning. It went on for almost an hour. The answer was Nicole Kidman. Many people think she was born in Australia, but she was actually born in Hawaii to Australian parents. She has a duel citizenship with the United States AND Australia.

Another More's Mystery tomorrow, and once again, to the winner, will go a pair of tickets to see Martina McBride and Trace Adkins at the Patriot Center on January 31. Here's a little bit of a tip-off for you. Tomorrow morning, we'll be looking for a fictional character.

Maybe I'm just a pessimist at heart, but I never bought into this whole "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" thing. I'm not necessarily saying that's a good thing. It's just the way I am. Many people are just the opposite. They'll take something awful, or as in the case I'm about to talk about, stupid, and try to make it something positive. Good for them. Case in point:

Out in Colorado, the neighbors of Balloon Boy's parents, The Heenes are talking to the media and telling them how they've taken the whole Balloon Boy incident and turned it into a teaching tool for their kids. One mom says she used the Heene's story to teach her kids, "Don't lie, period." A local dad said he used the Heene's incident to teach his kids that parents should set a good example for their kids and not break laws in front of them. Nor should they expect their kids to lie or break laws. Still another neighbor says the Heene's hoax has helped him teach his kids never to lie to the police.

You know what I learned from The Heenes? I learned that there are some people who, under no circumstances, should NOT be allowed to reproduce.

Don't you hate it when somebody invents something that everybody needs and you say to yourself, "Why didn't I think of that?". Here's a great example: A lot of people have to take pills everyday for a variety of reasons. Maybe they have high cholesterol, or maybe they have acid reflux, whatever it might be. These people will often forget to take their pills, or they get confused......."Did I take my pill today?....or was that yesterday?".

Along comes a company out of Cambridge, Massachusetts, Vitality, Incorporated. They have invented and are marketing a pill bottle that has a built-in alarm.

It sounds an alert when it's time to take your pill. Simple yet brilliant!

Unfortunately, the average person will still be unable to figure out how to open their pill bottle, but hey, one thing at a time.

Finally, speaking of medicine, there has been much debate lately about whether or not medical marijuana should be allowed. Should a doctor be able to legally prescribe marijuana for "medicinal" purposes?

Rasmussen Reports did a telephone survey and found 63% of those surveyed believe it SHOULD be allowed. 24% said it SHOULD NOT.

The remaining 13% were too stoned to answer the phone.

Martina McBride Tickets, Gunfight At The OK Corral & Hula-Hoop Mania

2009-10-26T18:27:00.005-04:00

I have some major tickets I'll be giving away starting tomorrow morning. This is the first time I'm giving tickets away at Thunder that I'm tempted to pocket myself. For the rest of the week, I'll be giving away tickets to see the lovely Martina McBride, along with Trace Adkins for January 31. You can't even buy these tickets yet. They don't go on sale until Friday at 10 A.M., but if you're listening this week, you can win them before you can buy them. The action starts tomorrow morning.

Don't forget, Bring Denny Your Bra is this Thursday evening, 7 P.M to 9 P.M at Mainstreet Grill & Bar. For every bra you bring me, Mainstreet will donate cash to the Virginia Breast Cancer Foundation (the bras will be donated to Goodwill). I really need your help on this. I'm looking forward to seeing you this Thursday. Also joining us will be Dale Cole, who owns Cole Construction Company of Catlett. Dale lost his wife earlier this year to breast cancer, and as a tribute to her, he purchased a limited edition pink Mustang. There were only 333 made exactly like this particular one, and Dale's bringing it out to Mainstreet so we can all get a look at it (weather permitting). Bring your cameras!

Happy Birthday today to Keith Urban.

He is 42 today.

On this day back in 1881, the famous "Gunfight At The OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, Arizona. Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and "Doc" Holliday confronted the Clanton gang. When it was over, three members of the Clanton gang were dead. The whole thing probably took about 30 seconds, but somehow, Kevin Costner managed to make a three-hour movie about it.

Also on this day in 1774, American patriots organized the volunteer militia. They were called The Minute Men. Their wives gave them that name.

Finally, did you see the video of First Lady Michelle OH-bama demonstrating what great shape she's in on the South Lawn of The White House. She was hosting a "Healthy Kids Day", and managed to keep a hula-hoop going for an amazing 142 revolutions.

Pretty impressive...............and I think we all agree, we'd rather see HER doing that than Hilary Clinton. I don't think anybody would want to see that.

By the way, as a result of all of this, President Oh-bama has just introduced a "Free Government-Paid Hula-Hoops For Everyone" program.

Martinsville Tickets, Texting While Driving & A Little Something Extra With Your Potato Chips.

2009-10-21T17:23:00.003-04:00

The Answer to this morning's More's Mystery: Richard Heene, the father of Balloon Boy.

Over the course of the next two days, we will be giving away tickets to the Tums Fast Relief 500 Sprint Cup Race coming up at Martinsville this Sunday. I'll be giving away a pair of tickets tomorrow morning and Friday morning. In addition, the Thunder Road Crew will be out and about both afternoons with more chances to win. They'll be Liberty Pawn & Gold on Route 3 in Fredericksburg tomorrow afternoon and Farmer's Foods on Main Street in Louisa Friday afternoon. Keep listening for details, but get ready to win those tickets starting tomorrow morning!!!!

In the "I Smell A Lawsuit Coming" department: Jack Hines of Havre, Montana, a 66 year-old former laborer and contractor says he was snacking on some Frito-Lay potato chips last week, when he reached into the bag and pulled out a deep-fried mouse. Jared Dougherty, a spokesperson for Frito-Lay, says the claim is "unsubstantiated". He added that a representative of the company has gone out to Montana to retrieve the ban AND the mouse. Hines took a picture of the mouse (which I haven't been able to find online). Dougherty says the photo makes him "very skeptical" that the mouse entered the bag during the manufacturing process. Hines had the bag at home for about two weeks before he opened it, and Frito believes it was sometime during those two weeks that the mouse entered the bag...................................but deep-fried??

Anyway, it's great to know that potato chips now come with a secret prize in the bag.

My vacation last week was hardly a relaxing week off. As many of you know, I have a stage show, a club act that I do and often work on weekends. In October, every weekend, I work Six Flags in Jackson, New Jersey. This particular show is called HYPNOSTERIA. I do eight shows per weekend at a venue called The Showcase Theater. It's a 1,200-seat theater, and I'm proud of the fact that we pack the theater for every show. In fact, the show has been running for ten years! So, the bottom line is I did eighteen shows during vacation (we were open for Columbus Day as well).

I was driving up to Jersey. I had just gotten on to 95 North, right around Stafford Airport, when I looked over at the car to my left and couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was a young lady, maybe around the age of 18 or 19. She was in the car by herself and driving at around the same speed I was, around 65 - 70 miles per hour. I know some people do this all the time, but I've never actually seen it with my own eyes. SHE WAS TEXT MESSAGING WHILE DRIVING!!! I seriously wished I could pull her over to inform her of how stupid she was being, because obviously she was clueless.

The reason I bring this up is because there was a new Rassmussen poll out this morning (which we talked about on the air) showing 91% of adults would approve of banning texting while driving (which I believe they did here in Virginia recently). 30% say it's more dangerous than drinking and driving.

70% said they believe it's even more dangerous than riding in a car being driven by Nick Nolte.

Back From Vacation, Living Longer & Kim Kardashian

2009-10-19T18:37:00.004-04:00

Nice to be back after after a week's vacation, but of course, always a little hard to get back into the roll of things. My thanks to Brian Stroble for filling in for me. It was not exactly a restful vacation. As many of you know, I have a stage show I do, and every October, I perform on weekends at Six Flags in Jackson, New Jersey. I do 8 shows per weekend, so over the week, I did 16 shows up there. The weather up north, as it was here in the Fredericksburg area, was awful. There was no snow where I was, but there was snow just a little north of where I was. Parts of Pennsylvania also got snow, one of the earliest snowfalls on record for that area. In addition, you might have heard Sheila Quinn mention this morning that Friday was the coldest on record here in Fredericksburg. So much for global warming.In medical news, if you're a guy and would like to live longer, here's some advice from the Swedish Institute for Social Research: Marry a well-educated woman. The institute did extensive research, studying over 1.5 million people between the ages of 30 to 59. They discovered that men who marry well-educated women, women who, at the very least have a college degree, on the average, will live 10 years longer than those who marry women not as educated. What did don't know is WHY this is. The theory is that well-educated women are more likely to read important health news and repeat it to their husbands.

So, the good news is you'll live 10 years longer. The bad news is you'll have to spend those 10 years being nagged by your wife about your unhealthy lifestyle.

I don't think I buy into any of this. David Letterman married a well-educated woman, and I'm willing to bet he won't be living much longer.

Finally, for you Kim Kardashian fans: Kim has a new swimsuit calendar out. There are 16 photos in it. Apparently Kim thinks there are 16 months in a year.

Smart as a whip, that Kim Kardashian.

Vacation (with a correction), A Really Big Pumpkin & Al- Qaeda Recruiting

2009-10-09T17:52:00.007-04:00

Okay, let's wrap this up for the week so I can kick off vacation.

First, a correction to an earlier entry. I mentioned this week that Braden Smith would be filling in for me next week. I was wrong. It's the Dean of Fredericksburg radio filling in for me, Brian Stroble. Brian is certainly no stranger to Morning radio here in the community, and I am sure he will take excellent care of you.

Congratulations to math teacher Christy Harp of Jackson Township, Ohio.

She won $2,500.00 and is the new world's record holder for growing thee largest pumpkin. This monstrosity weighs in at 1,725 pounds.

The record for the largest PAIR of pumpkins is still held by Dolly Parton.

Some very disturbing news today:

Al-Qaeda is reportedly recruiting here in the United States. It sounds like they're pretty serious about it too. Supposedly, if you sign up now, for a limited time only, they're going to throw in a pair of Hanna Montana tickets.
Finally, some major science news today. NASA sent up, basically a bomb to the moon, a used-up spacecraft, slamming it into the South Pole of the moon. The idea here is kick up a plumb of lunar dirt and then check it to see if there's any water or ice spraying up. As of this afternoon, the bad news is they didn't find any water or ice. The good news is they DID find Jimmy Hoffa.

Have a good time with Brian. I'll talk to you in a week.

A Clean Garage, A Light Flight & Top Movies

2009-10-07T16:17:00.006-04:00

The answer to More's Mystery this morning: David Carradine.

The answer to our trivia question: Lyndon Baines Johnson, his wife, his two daughters, and yes, even his dog, all had the same initials. I guess that was his way of keeping it a one-suitcase family.

We've mentioned several times that the Fredericksburg SPCA is this area's ONLY no-kill animal shelter. We've also mentioned that they rely solely of our donations to survive and maintain their operating budget. I realize not everyone these days can make a cash donation, what with the economy being what it is. But here's a way you can help out the animals without making a cash donation. The Fredericksburg SPCA is holding their annual Fall Yard Sale. Why not take a few hours out and clean out that garage, attic or basement (you know you've been being to anyway), and take those items you're no longer using and donate them to the yard sale. You can drop off your items this weekend Saturday from 10 A.M. to 3 P.M and Sunday from 12 Noon until 3 P.M. at 1340 Central Park Boulevard, Suite 102. Remember, the yard sale itself is set for NEXT Saturday, October 17, and for you yard sale fans, it's always a biggie.

Happy Birthday today to the great Colonel Oliver North.

Ollie is 66 today.

Also, Happy Birthday today to John Mellencamp...........or John Cougar..........or John Cougar Mellencamp.......whatever name he's using this week.

This guy has more names than I have ex-wives.

Before you hop aboard a flight on Japanese airline Nippon Airways, you'd better not drink too much water. First of all, all passengers will be REQUIRED to use the bathroom in the airport first. The idea here is passengers will be lighter after visiting the bathroom and therefore lighter to carry. Therefore, less fuel is required.

In the words of the great Billy Mays, BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!! In addition, once on board, each passenger will be limited to one visit to the bathroom during the flight. I wonder who the lucky person is who gets to keep track of this. It's another way of saving fuel. At 30,000 feet, a single flush uses one litre of fuel. This is just nuts, isn't it? How far are they going to go with this? Are they also going to demand that you trim your fingernails, blow your nose and clean out your ear wax too?

I blame all of this on Al Gore. Not for any particular reason. I just blame EVERYTHING on Al Gore.

In looking for stuff to write about for this entry, I ran across the top movie money-makers this past week. I won't bore you with the whole top ten list, but a few interesting little notes.

#8 on the list is Capitalism: A Love Story, Michael Moore's latest propaganda film. Last week alone, it brought in $4.5 million. Not bad for a guy who hates capitalism.

#2 was Cloudy with A Chance Of Meatballs, bringing in over $15 million last week.

#1 on the list: Zombieland

What's with the titles of these movies?? Cloudy With A chance Of Meatballs????

It sounds like the lab results of Tony Soprano's urine sample.

Powell's Furniture, Letterman & Chaos at KFC

2009-10-06T18:31:00.003-04:00

The answer to More's Mystery this morning: George Carlin.

Braden Smith will be out and about again this weekend. He'll be out stylin' & profilin' at Powell's Furniture on Route 3 in Fredericksburg this Saturday from High Noon 'til 3. Stop by and have some fun with Braden.

In the "It Might Be Time To Switch To A Decaf" department:

This is one of those stories I hate to hear about because it's one of those things that could happen to any of us. It's the old "being in the wrong place at the wrong time" type of thing. Authorities say a couple at a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Norwell, Massachusettes were upset because their order was taking so long. So, they started yelling profanities at the workers. There was a man also in line who asked that they stop cursing because he had his kids with him. His request was met with a beating by the couple. Thirty-one year-old Jared Garagna punched the man in the head, while his girlfriend, twenty-four year-old Sara Mohn kicked him. KFC employees called police. Mohn was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (her shoe?). Garfagna was charged with assault and battery.

Summary: So, they order some fried chicken. It's taking too long. These 2 dopes start yelling out profanities. A man in line with his kids says, "Can you please stop cursing. I have my kids with me." So, the couple beats him up. All this happening at a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Norwell, Massachusettes. I have a feeling the couple was pretty fried as well.

I would love to have watched and listened to all of this from a safe distance. All the cursing............plus all the talk about legs and thighs probably made it all sound even dirtier.

The Letterman saga continues. Last nigh, Letterman apologized to his wife on the air. I'm sure that was her idea, part of his punishment. I'm sure you know by now that Letterman has admitted to having affairs with some female staffers. When a CBS producer found out about it (he's the ex-boyfriend of one of the staffers), he tried blackmailing Letterman. A sting operation was set up and the man was arrested after he accepted a fake check from Letterman for $2 million . The man's lawyer says his client is innocent (Gee, that's something you don't see very often. A lawyer who says his client is innocent). He says as a CBS producer, he has covered dozens of stories about extortion and blackmailing plots and would never be dumb enough to take a fake $2 million check for hush money.

Yeah, I agree. No one at CBS would be so dumb as to risk their career on a phony piece of paper.

Oh, wait a minute...............................there was that one time.................

Vacation, The Final Word On Michael Jackson & Bad Penmanship

2009-10-05T18:42:00.003-04:00

A programming note: I will be off on vacation next week. Filling in for me once again, my good buddy Braden Smith.

The final autopsy report on Michael Jackson was released on Friday. Contrary to rumors that he was too frail to perform, the coroner says he was "normal weight".

Normal weight for what, a praying mantis??

The coroner also says that aside from a little arthritis, some damaged lungs, and a number of scars (probably from plastic surgery), Jackson was in fairly good health for a 50 year-old man (I guess he means except for that whole dying thing. He's dead, but other than that, fairly healthy).

It doesn't surprise me that his lungs were damaged.

With that non-existent nose of his, he probably couldn't get any air in them.

DUMB CRIMINAL ALERT!!!!

A woman in Hillsboro, Oregon tried to rob a Wells Fargo bank Branch by handing the teller a note which read, "Need $300 or I'll kill you. I'm serious." Unfortunately, her penmanship was so bad, the teller couldn't read the woman's handwriting. You know how banks have those little desk/counter areas where customers can fill out deposit and withdrawal slips and so on? Well, our dumb bank robber took her note back and walked over to the counter to re-write it. Meanwhile, the teller hit the silent alarm. The police came and arrested her, and here's a surprise, the police say she was under the influence of drugs.

I suspect it's easy to get prescription drugs when you have handwriting as bad as a doctor's.

Wings, Wheels & Ducks, The Wisconsin Tourism Federation & Revenge Through Goldfish

2009-10-02T17:51:00.003-04:00

Once again, Thunder brings you Wings, Wheels & Ducks tomorrow at Stafford Regional Airport. This is truly a fun-filled day for the entire family. I attended my first Wings, Wheels & Ducks last year. I was out there with Braden Smith and our Child Boss. Rae was with me along with Watson The Wonder Dog. We had a great time and you will too when you stop by tomorrow

Happy Birthday today to actress Lorraine Bracco who played Dr. Melfi from The Sopranos and Karen Hill in Goodfellas.

She is 55 today.

My thanks to Shelia Quinn, who did this story this morning and brought it to our attention:

The Wisconsin Tourism Federation has decided to change their name because of their initials. Years ago, the letters WTF didn't mean anything, but in this Internet world we live in today, the letters WTF have a very definite meaning online. Now, either you know what I'm talking about or you don't. I can't go into much more detail than that. I suspect most of you know what I'm talking about . A spokesperson for the agency said, "We have changed our name to the Tourism Federation of Wisconsin. We didn't want the initials WTF to detract from our mission."

Personally, I think they should have left it the way it was, the WTF, Wisconsin Tourism Federation. I think it could have led to a nice state slogan.....

"LET'S VISIT WISCONSIN, WTF!!!"

Here's a fun little story out of Houston, Texas. Authorities there say a woman was so mad at her former common-law husband, she fried up his pet goldfish and ate them. Police spokesperson Vance Mitchell says this is a civil matter and no charges will be filed. The police report says the two had argued early in the day about some jewelry the man had given her, but then had taken back. She wanted the jewelry returned. The man called police to report that the woman took his goldfish from his apartment. Officers who were dispatched to the woman's home arrived to find four fried goldfish on a plate on the dinner table. The woman told police she already ate the other three.

Where's Foxworthy when you need him? Come on, all together now. YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF YOU FRY UP YOUR FORMER COMMON-LAW HUSBAND'S GOLDFISH AND EAT THEM.

No wonder he left her. She's a lousy cook.

Braden At The Fair, Derek Jeter & The World's Best Lovers

2009-10-01T19:30:00.005-04:00

The answer to More's Mystery this morning: Desperate Housewives. We'll have another More's Mystery tomorrow morning, and again, I think it should be a fairly easy one. We'll be looking for a person.

Braden Smith will be taking his show on the road tomorrow. He'll be out broadcasting live at the State Fair of Virginia. Following Braden's broadcast, Randy Houser will take the stage. Stop out and join in on the fun.

Happy Birthday today to former President Jimmy ("I'll never lie to you") Carter. He is 85 today.

New York Yankee star Derek Jeter continues to receive ovations wherever The Bronx Bombers travel to, in the wake of his recent career milestone. Jeter passed Lou Gehrig on the all-time number of hits. However, the person from New York who REALLY had the most career hits..........................

........John Gotti

We were talking about this during this morning's show. Some very interesting polling results from OnePoll.com. They polled 15,000 women worldwide to try to find out who made the greatest lovers. Top of the list, SURVEY SAYS: Brazilian men. Italian men came in second. Topping the list of the worst lovers, SURVEY SAYS: German men because they're "too smelly". Coming in second on the "worst" list were English men because they're "too lazy", followed by Swedish men because they're "too quick." Women also said Dutch men were "too rough", American men were "too dominating", Greek men were "too soppy" (I don't even know what that means), Scots were "too loud, Turks were "too sweaty", Welsh men were "too selfish" and Russian men were "too hairy".

So, let's summarize, shall we? Women don't like men who are smelly, lazy, quick, rough, dominating, soppy, loud, sweaty, selfish and hairy. I'm starting to see now why in my single, dating days, I didn't "score" much.

Here's what I don't understand: If women don't like men who are smelly, lazy, quick, rough, dominating, soppy, loud, sweaty, selfish and hairy, how do you explain the whole Tommy Lee thing?

Nash At Belvedere, Kate Plus Eight & The Mayor Of East Cleveland

2009-09-29T20:18:00.006-04:00

My sometimes partner in crime in the morning, Kristin Nash, has a live appearance coming up this week at Belvedere Plantation on Route 17 south. Thunder will have it's own campfire which you can be a part of. Plus, there will be hayrides, the maize maze will be open, as will the pumpkin patch. Stop by and say "hi" to Nash for me. But if by chance you can't, you can catch it live on Thunder. It's all happening this Friday evening from 7 to 9.

Happy Birthday to Jerry Lee Lewis today. He is 74.

....which means his wife of 40 years is 54. Jerry was obviously a role model for Roman Polanski.

The saga of Jon& Kate Plus Eight continues. This is another so-called reality show I don't watch. However, my wife, Rae, LOVES it, so I've seen a bit of it from time to time because of her. Basically, this show is about this married couple, Jon & Kate and how they deal with their eight kids from day to day. The show had "okay" ratings, but about six months ago, something happened. All of a sudden, there were rumors about Jon having an affair. Then rumors about Kate having an affair with her bodyguard. All of a sudden, the show captured my attention. Apparently, I wasn't alone. The fifth season premiere attracted a record 9.8 million viewers. It was thee most watched show that evening including those of regular broadcast TV (Jon & Kate are broadcast on cable channel TLC).

Early this morning, TLC announced that as of November 2, the show will be called "Kate Plus Eight". Oddly enough a few hours later, Jon announced that he apologized to Kate, and is reportedly trying to put the brakes on the divorce. Apparently, Jon woke up and said to himself, "Hey, they're trying to knock me off the money train. I better apologize to Ms.Hitler".

Okay, here we go. I promised you this and here it is. East Cleveland, Ohio Mayor Eric Brewster is running for re-election this year. So far, so good. OH,OH....local TV station WKYC starting airing a photo of Brewster dressed as a woman. Brewster wants to know where WKYC got the photo, and why they didn't come to him first before broadcasting it. He hasn't confirmed or denied if the person in the photo is him, but says he IS STILL RUNNING FOR RE-ELECTION.

Although, I think it's going to be hard to run in those heels.

The State Fair, The Hijab & "I Thought The Safety Was On"

2009-09-23T16:37:00.011-04:00

I haven't been able to get an entry in for almost a week. I apologize for that.

I want to thank everyone who showed up at our Friday afternoon remote last week at Wireless Zone in Stafford. We had a good time and a lot of laughs.

I also want to thank singer-songwriter and Nashville recording star Dean Brody for joining us this morning on the phone line.

He's a terribly nice guy and remember, you can see him in action tomorrow night at the opening night of the State Fair of Virginia, where he'll be onstage with Jason Michael Carroll.

I got home today just time to watch and listen to Moammar Kadafi addressing the U.N. What a long and rambling speech. It lasted almost 90 minutes and for the most part, made hardly any sense. He did carry on about how much he loves President OH-bama. He referred to OH-bama as his son and said he wishes OH-bama could be President of the United States "forever". I'm sitting there watching this lunatic give this speech and thought to myself, "If there's one guy you DON'T want to get a recommendation from, it's Moammar!!" The White House can't be happy about it.

By the way, speaking of Moammar, what's with his outfits?? This guy wears the zaniest clothes I've ever seen. His tailor must have a wacky sense of humor. Lets take a look at some of Moammar's greatest fashion moments:

........and here's my personal favorite.............

I LOVE when he wears the Michael Jackson get-up.

Speaking of clothes, here's a case you're going to want to keep an eye on. A Muslim teenager claims she was denied a job at an Abercrombie & Fitch clothing store at a Tulsa, Oklahoma mall because she wore a head scarf. In the lawsuit filed yesterday in U.S. District Court in Tulsa, 17 year-old Samantha Elauf applied for a sales position at the Abercrombie store back in June, but was told that her wearing the head scarf, known as a hijab violates the store's "Look Policy".

The suit seeks back pay for Ms. Elauf, plus monetary and non-monetary losses resulting from "emotional pain and suffering, anxiety, (here's my favorite) loss of enjoyment of life, humiliation and (get ready for this one) inconvenience".

We'll see what happen with this, but apparently for now, if you want to work for Abercrombie & Fitch, you can't wear a hijab. I guess it would probably be alright if it were an Abercrombie & Fitch hijab.

Hey, you know where you can get some great hijabs? In the food court over in the Spotsylvania Towne Center. Delicious!!

Finally, given the name of the victim and the stupidity of the following incident, you're going to think I'm making the story up. I assure you, I am not. Jefferson County, Missouri Sheriff Oliver Boyer reports that 40 year-old James Looney, accidentally shot himself to death while teaching his girlfriend a lesson in firearm safety. According to witnesses, Looney's teaching method involved him placing the gun to his head and asking his girlfriend if the gun would go off. Apparently, he was teaching her about various safety mechanisms. He did this twice with no problem, but on the third time, the gun fired into his head. He was transported to a local hospital, but died the following day. Witnesses also say Looney was going to take his girlfriend to the shooting range the next day, but insisted on giving her lessons on firearm safety first.

I guess we should assume here that he wanted to show his girlfriend what NOT to do.

I think all of us learned a valuable lesson here: Guns and girlfriends don't mix.

Cline, Kreskin & Kanye West

2009-09-15T18:53:00.005-04:00

Let's start off with a couple of programming notes for you. On Thursday morning's show, mentalist The Amazing Kreskin will be joining me. The Amazing One will be appearing on Mike Huckabee's show this weekend on the Fox News Network and also at Wolftrap on Friday, October 9. By the way, speaking of Mike Huckabee, I love the guy and love his politics, and would love to see him as President of the United States, although I admit, it might be slightly disturbing to have a President whose name sounds like a pie.

There's another live remote broadcast on tap. I will be out broadcasting live at Wireless Zone's new location in Stafford this Friday from 5 to 7 P.M. Stop in for a couple of minutes and say, "Hi". We'll be giving away an HP Mini Netbook. You don't have to be present to win, but you do have to stop by and register. No purchase is necessary.

Fifty-two years ago today, a 25 year-old Patsy Cline married Charlie Dick in Winchester.

Happy Birthday today to McGruff, the Crime-Fighting Dog.

McGruff is 29 today.

Finally, I don't know why this hasn't gotten more media attention. Well, actually I do, and so do you. A reporter for ABC, Terry Moran set the Twitter world all aflutter when he wrote the following:

"President Obama just called Kanye West a "jackass" for his outburst at VMSs when Taylor Swift won. Now that's presidential".

An ABC spokesperson immediately responded with the following:

"In the process of reporting on remarks by President Obama that were made during a CNBC interview, ABC News employees prematurely tweeted a portion of those remarks that turned out to be from an off-the-record portion of the interview. This was done before our editorial process had been completed. That was wrong. We apologize to the White House and CNBC and are taking steps to ensure that it will not happen again."

So, President OH-bama calls Kanye West a "jackass". An ABC reporter writes about it on Twitter, and then ABC immediately retracts it. Why would they retract it? It's probably the only thing OH-bama has said in the last 6 months that everyone agrees with.

Watson, A-Rod & Large People On Planes

2009-09-14T19:20:00.006-04:00

My thanks to all of you who showed up for the Walk For the Animals at Maury Field this Saturday for the benefit of the Fredericksburg SPCA. Watson The Wonder Dog did well. He was great for the first mile. The second mile, not so good. Several times along the route of the second and last mile, he just laid down and refused to move. He had enough. He kept looking up at me and Rae like, "What are we doing here? What is the point of all this?" He finally made through the entire walk, but he was the LAST dog back to the field. We're proud of him nevertheless. They had several activities for the dogs, including a chance for them to create a painting (sort of a finger-painting kind of thing, or more to the point, paw-painting). Here's Watson's painting.

Alright, he's not exactly Bob Ross. Whadda want from me?

Sports news: Over the weekend, the New York Slimes (I'm sorry, the New York Times) reported that Major League Baseball will NOT punish Alex Rodriquez after it's completing it's investigation into whether or not he lied about using performance-enhancing drugs. I guess they figured, "Hey, the guy dated Madonna, so he suffered enough."

DEATH AT THE WEATHER CHANNEL

Frank Batten died over the weekend. He's the guy who started the Weather Channel.

He came up with the idea for an all-weather channel because he liked to fall asleep with the TV on. I find it ironic that his last name is Batten........as is "Batten down the hatches".

Happy Birthday today to Jon "Bowser" from Sha Na Na. He's 62 today. Also the lovely Joey Heatherton. She's 65 (How depressing is that?), and Amy Winehouse is 26 today.

For those of you familiar with her, you know it's amazing that she made it this far.

WOW! Did we hit a nerve with you guys this morning?! The story about the guy who was charged double on Southwest Airlines because he was so large set off a firestorm of calls. I thank all of you who called and I know many of you were not able to get through, so we'll give you one more chance tomorrow morning. Talk to you then.

Watson In Training, Baseball Rage & Too Much Salt

2009-09-10T18:02:00.006-04:00

This Saturday morning, it's the Walk For The Animals at Maury Field downtown. It's to benefit the Fredericksburg SPCA, a no-kill facility which relies SOLELY on donations and fund-raising events like this one. Please come on out and support us. IT WILL BE FUN! I'll be there with the Thunder crew. Watson The Wonder Dog will be making a rare public appearance(His agent was murder to deal with). Braden Smith will be there. In fact, he has volunteered to carry Watson in the event Watson can't handle the 2-mile walk. My wife, Rae, will be there. Rae is the Mona Lisa Vito of Fredericksburg. She'll probably be wearing high heels for the 2-mile walk. Registration begins at 8 A.M. the walk starts at 9. Come on out and have some fun with us and help support this great cause. We'll talk about more tomorrow morning with Fredericksburg SPCA Director Debra Joseph.

Happy Birthday today to pitcher Randy Johnson. He is 46. Golfing great Arnold Palmer is 80 today, and Madonna's ex-husband, Guy Ritchie is 41. He recently told reporters that he hates being referred to as "Madonna's ex-husband", but let's face it, calling him "that guy who used to "do it" with Madonna" really doesn't narrow it down enough.

Madness at an adult baseball game in Chicago:

Twenty-one year old Deangelo Williams has been charged with first-degree attempted murder after shooting his coach because the coach took him out of the game. Deangelo was a pitcher for the Chicago Cardinals. They were scheduled to play 2 games against a team called (ironically) the Chicago Hitmen. After the first game, the coach, Glynn Hall, took Deangelo out. Deangelo went and got a gun and shot Coach Hall four times, once in the back, once in the neck and twice in the arm. He was taken to Advocate Christ Medical Center and released (tough guy). This is the worst case of baseball rage I've ever heard.

...........and they say Lou Pinella has a bad temper. I don't thing he ever shot anybody............................not four times anyway.

Finally, Americans are eating too much salt according to the American Journal of Health Promotion. If Americans were to cut their salt intake down to recommended levels, there would be far fewer cases of high blood pressure. The Institute of Medicine recommends that adults consume no more than 2,300 milligrams of sodium per day. However, they say the average American consumes approximately 1,000 milligrams MORE than that. So cut down on that salt.

The main problem there is that the margaritas don't as good.

J & J Tile, Patsy Cline & A Great New Vacation Spot

2009-09-08T19:36:00.005-04:00

On tap this weekend, another live remote broadcast at one of my favorite places to do a live broadcast: J & J Tile & Marble. In the almost two years I've been here, these guys have become good friends and we always have a fun time when we're there. I'll be out there this Saturday between 12 Noon and 2 P.M., and as always, I'm inviting you to stop by and say, "Hi", spin our prize wheel (It's free to spin!) and have some fun with us. You're under no obligation, but of course, if you're looking for tile, marble, granite, hardwood or vinyl, remember, this is THEE place in the Frederickburg for the BEST selection and the BEST prices. In fact, they will beat ANY competitor's prices and that's a guarantee.

Patsy Cline was born on this date back in 1932.

Patsy, of course, became very popular on vinyl............as opposed to Shania Twain, who became very popular IN vinyl.Scientists have discovered the "coldest, driest, calmest place on earth" in Antarctica. It has an average winter temperature of MINUS 94 degrees, has very low humidity and absolutely NO wind. It makes it the perfect vacation spot.............except for that whole minus 94 degrees part.

More Nascar tickets to give away tomorrow morning when we play More's Mystery. We'll be looking for a TV network.

Finally, Ted Kennedy's memoir becomes available this coming Monday, September 14. It's 532 pages. Thirty-two pages are personal history. The other 500 pages are mixed drink recipes.......................and the whole book doubles as a flotation device.

Busy Weekend For Thunder & Mugshot-O-Rama

2009-09-02T15:55:00.005-04:00

It's a busy weekend for the Thunder Road Crew. This Saturday, it's the 6th Annual Fireworks Celebration at Salem Fields Community Church. There will be all kinds of fun stuff like live music, theater shows, moonbounces, a water slide, face-painting, a mechanical bull (I'd like to give that a try), a rock wall, plus corn hole toss (I'd like to give that a try too). As if that's not enough, you can also see the "Ole Guard Fife & Drum Corps" perform, and of course, the fireworks.

Saturday night, it's Braden Smith and the "I COULDN'T GET TICKETS TO THE JIMMY BUFFET CONCERT" party at Cheeseburger In Paradise, starting at 9 P.M.

The on Sunday, Brian Stroble is live at Powell's Furniture on Route 3, starting at High Noon.

I had a busy day today. When I got off the air, it was over to the great Dr. Larry Stine, the greatest chiropractor on the face of the planet earth. Then it was over to Hair Mosaic to get a haircut from the lovely Marsha, and finally, I had to take Watson The Wonder Dog over to the VCR Chancellor Animal Hospital on Gordon Road. Watson has to get a heart worm test, his nails trimmed and his anal glands expressed. Better him than me.

Lets go to Frederick, Maryland. Authorities there arrested 52 year-old James T.Hart at the Classic Fuels Store on Old National Pike. He filled up his tank, then offered to pay the clerk with marijuana in lieu of cash. The clerk refused and called the police. When they arrived, they found marijuana and Oxycodone in his possession. He was arrested and charged with possession of marijuana, Oxycodone and drug paraphernalia. When you look at his mugshot, don't you say to yourself, "Gee, he doesn't look like the kind of guy who would offer to pay for gas with marijuana."

How stupid. He tries to pay for his gas with marijuana. What happens when gas goes up to over $4.00 a gallon? What does he try to do then? Pay with cocaine? What a dope!!!!

Finally, a disturbing story out of Sarasota, Florida. A man accused of taking photos of a sleeping woman after he undressed her has been charged with Video Voyeurism.
The evidence was found in a camera that the man left behind at her residence.
Sarasota County Sheriff's detectives have taken 30-year-old Sherman Williams into custody after a Suncoast woman accused him of taking the photos. It's a very bad thing he did, but when you look at his mugshot, it's obvious he is remorseful.

Blood Drive, Bad Blood & New Blood

2009-09-01T19:00:00.005-04:00

Don't forget, tomorrow is the big Ford vs Chevy Blood Drive. My good buddy, Braden Smith, will be out broadcasting from Purvis Ford and Radley Chevrolet beginning at 3 P.M. Come on out, support your favorite car maker, have fun and help out OUR community at the same time. Not to mention the fact that you could walk away with a pair of tickets to the Chevy Rock & Roll 400 Sprint Cup NASCAR race tickets for September 12th in Richmond.

Speaking of those NASCAR tickets, I will be giving away another pair of those tomorrow morning when we play MORE'S MYSTERY. We will be looking for a TV network tomorrow. I think you'll find it to be a fairly easy one, so make sure you join me a little after the 7 A.M. news.

I was reading through the Michael Jackson autopsy report this morning (Yeah, I have way too much time on my hands). No major surprises. His body was loaded up with drugs including Propofol and Lorazapam. These are basically powerful tranquilizers.

I always thought they would find out that Jackson died from a lack of oxygen. I never understood how he could breathe and take in air with that whacked out nose of his.

It is possible some of you might remember a young lady, a pop singer who was quite the rage for a short period of time in the 80's. She was a flash in the pan, but very big for awhile. She went by the name of Tiffany. Her claim to fame was working shopping malls, very big among the teeny-boppers.
She's back at the age of 37, and guess what, she now claims to be a country singer. She recently said, "Hopefully, I'll be able to get a country project together by the end of the year, either funding it myself or looking at labels."

She also now claims that she was a country singer before she was a pop singer. Personally, I don't remember that. To take it a step further, she also claims that as a teen, she toured with George Jones and Jerry Lee Lewis. A teen touring with Jerry Lee Lewis? She's lucky she didn't wind up married to him.

Good luck to Ms. Tiffany. We'll see what happens. We might have another Jessica Simpson on our hands.

Two Birthdays, The Double-Down & The Scarlet Letter

2009-08-28T18:31:00.008-04:00

Happy Birthday today to Shania Twain. She's 44, Also, Happy Birthday to the suddenly high-profile LeAnn Rimes. She's 27.Shortly before I left New Jersey, I attended Sean Hannity's Freedom Concert. The entertainment at the concert was Lee Greenwood, Montgomery Gentry & LeAnn Rimes. She told the audience that she was proud of the fact that unlike a lot of other child stars, she managed to grow up leading a normal life, happily married and had managed to avoid any sort of scandal. This got a tremendous round of applause from the thousands of people in attendance. Well, here we are, just about 2 years later, LeAnn is suddenly the target of the tabloids, leaving her husband for her "boyfriend" after getting caught in an affair with him. What a difference 2 years can make.

Speaking of having affairs, I know, by now, you heard about the guy from Centreville, who also "got caught". His name is William Taylor, and he was very remorseful about his affair AFTER he got caught. He was desperate to "make things right" with his wife, and promised to do whatever it took to accomplish this. She came up with a very novel punishment. She forced him to stand at one of the busiest intersections in metro D.C., wearing a huge sandwich sigh which read "I am a cheater and this is my punishment." He had to do this during morning rush hour all this week.

On the plus side for this guy, hanging out at roadside during rush hour when traffic is at a bumper-to-bumper stand-still is a GREAT way to meet chicks.

I don't think anyone will deny that we have an obesity problem in this country. Take a very, very close and careful look at this picture. Use a magnifying glass if you have to. The picture was taken in the fifties. Do you see a lot of fat or overweight people? I don't (and I DID use a magnifying glass).

Now, take a close look at this picture taken 4 years ago.

I realize these pictures aren't close-ups and lack detail, but I think you can see that as a whole, the shape of our bodies have changed, and not for the better. Many people these days are out of shape, overweight and in many cases, obese. According to the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health, the obesity rate in this country is up to an amazing 32%! I am positive it was nowhere near that 50, 40 or even 30 years ago.

Why do I bring this up? Because Kentucky Fried Chicken recently announced they are test marketing a new item on their menu. It's called the Double Down Sandwich. This actually sounds like a put-on, but unfortunately, it's not.

It consists of bacon, two kinds of cheeses and sauce, all between 2 pieces of fried chicken. That's right, fried chicken as a bun instead of bread. According to Fox News, the "sandwich" is being test-marketed in Rhode Island and Nebraska.

You can order just the sandwich or order the Double Down Sandwich meal, which comes with the sandwich, a large soda, a large order of Fries...............and a defibrillator.

The DMV, The Final Flip-Flop & Mr. Saturday Night, Ben Bernanke

2009-08-24T19:28:00.008-04:00

Rae and I moved a few months back, so we had to change our address on our license. I avoid going to the DMV like I would avoid going to a dentist with Parkinson's, so I made my changes online. I never had to deal with them in person. However, when Rae tried to follow suite, the whole online thing wasn't working for her for one reason or another. So, when I got off the air today, Rae wanted to go to the DMV to change the address on her license, and she wanted me to come along with her. Personally, I would rather be water boarded than go to the DMV, but...................Okay. We sat there for hours. For hours, there we sat, like two dopes while these government workers took turns going to lunch or walking around aimlessly. It occurred to me that this was the best argument against government-run health care or socialized medicine or whatever you want to call it. It's the same thing. I've traveled a lot in my life, and every DMV in every state I've been to has been the same. If this is how they run the DMV, do you actually think the government handling your health care is going to be any different? The only difference is instead of sitting there for hours waiting to get the address on your license changed, you'll be sitting there waiting for a kidney, or waiting to see a doctor, or worse, waiting to make an appointment to see a doctor. Some people told us they were waiting longer than us. In fact, I guess we shouldn't complain. Here's a picture I took of the couple sitting next to us.Our final Flip-Flop Friday in THIS Friday. Braden Smith will be at Brock's in downtown Fredericksburg with TWO chances to win those tickets to see Kenny Chesney this Saturday night at The Nissan Pavilion. Be there!

Congratulations to former Indiana basketball coach, Bobby Knight. We found out over the weekend that Knight will soon be inducted into the Indiana University Athletics Hall of Fame. Oddly enough, not for basketball. It turns out, apparently he holds the distance record for chair-tossing.

Speaking of sports, Happy Birthday today to Vince McMahon. Vinny Mac is 64 today.

I'm sorry. Did I say speaking of "sports"?

Finally, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said Friday that economic activity in the U.S. and around the world appears to be "leveling out" and added that the U.S. economy is on the verge of recovery.

Everybody had a GOOD LAUGH at Ben's wacky joke and then went on with their business.

A Broken Promise, A Long Neck & Tight Lips

2009-08-21T20:35:00.005-04:00

The answer to today's More's Mystery: Alec Baldwin, who in 2000, promised all of us that if George Bush was elected, he would leave the country. That sounded like a win-win to me. In fact, I would've paid for the airline ticket to get him out of here. Sure enough, Bush got elected and Baldwin just never referred to his promise again. He's not a bad actor, but aside from that, I think the guy is a moron. WHAT WAS KIM BASINGER THINKING??!

I know it doesn't show, but I don't have much respect for Alec Baldwin. However, I DO have an enormous amount of respect for Sir Anthony Hopkins, who is definitely in the top 5 on my list of all-time favorite actors. That's why I was astounded that he agreed to do the movie "The Edge" with Baldwin. Not that I thought he shouldn't work with him. It's just that the movie is AWFUL. In fact, it's one of those movies so bad, it's hysterical.

If you've not seen it, check it out. I watch it every time it's on and laugh my butt off every time. I suggest you have a few drinks before you watch it. In fact, better yet, if you want to make a drinking thing out of it, have a shot every time Baldwin says, "Charles".

My thanks to Debra Joseph, Director of the Fredericksburg SPCA, for stopping by the show this morning, as she does every Friday.

Happy Birthday to the lovely Kim Cattrall of Sex & The City fame. She is 53 today. I was never able to get into the whole Sex & The City thing. It's pretty much a chick thing. My wife, Rae, is obsessed with it. Because of her, I've watch it a few times. I don't really get it. The only thing I did notice is that one the four women on the show has an unusually long neck.

Finally, Happy Birthday to Kenny Rogers. He's 71 today, but don't spread it around. Kenny is very tight-lipped about it.

In fact, these days, Kenny is very tight-FACED period.

The Answer To More's Mystery, Happy Birthday To Hairboy & Smarter Than A Monkey

2009-08-20T18:34:00.008-04:00

Tough More's Mystery this morning! We were looking for an animal. Fully grown, it's weighs about 150 pounds. It lives to around the age of 30 years, and although generally not aggressive to humans, there have been 5 documented cases of fatal attacks on humans by these animals. The answer: THE KOMODO DRAGON (also known as The Monitor Lizard)

Hideous-looking things, aren't they? Interesting little side note: One of the people attacked by a Komodo Dragon (NOT fatally) was Sharon Stone's husband, San Francisco Chronicle editor Phil Bronstein. This occurred 8 years ago when the couple were touring a zoo in Indonesia. Bronstein was wearing white sneakers and the theory is that the lizard mistook his sneaker for a white rat. The dragon bit his foot. Bronstein required surgery, but made a full recovery.

Tomorrow morning, we'll have another Mystery and another chance for you to win a 4-pack of tickets to the Walking With The Dinosaurs show coming to The Verizon Center in September.

Happy Birthday today to Rudy Gatlin of The Gatlin Brothers. He's 57 today. Connie Chung, former TV anchor babe and wife of Maury ("You ARE the father") Povitch, is 63 today.

Also, Happy Birthday to boxing promoter Don King. Don is 78 today.

What does this guy comb his hair with in the morning? A pack of firecrackers? He looks like a hand grenade salesman.

Hey, wait a minute! It's Connie Chung's birthday AND Don King's birthday on the same day??!! That means today is CHUNG KING DAY!!!

I think by now, you all know how much I love dogs. This morning, we got the results of tests conducted at a Canadian University, which show that dogs know when we're lying. Dog treats were hidden under one of two buckets, where dogs couldn't smell them. The dog's owners would point to the bucket where the food was, but sometimes, they would intentionally lie. After being lied to on the average of 5 fives, the dogs would start picking up subtle body language the owners were giving out without realizing it. So, after a very short time, the dogs were able to tell when their owner was lying, and the would pick the other bucket. Researchers say this indicates that dogs might be even smarter than we originally thought, maybe even smarter than chimpanzees.

Here's my question: If dogs are so smart, how come when you make believe you throw the tennis ball, but you don't really throw it, the dog spends 20 minutes looking for it.

Cats, on the other hand, are smarter than all of them put together. They KNOW all humans are full of baloney, and they just ignore us entirely.

Jukebox Heroes, An Incredibly Dumb Criminal & I'm A Big Dope

2009-08-13T18:39:00.005-04:00

I want to let you know about a show coming to Massaponax High School on Saturday, September 19. It's a show called "Jukebox Heroes" performed by The Mahoney Brothers. I know these guys. They're from New Jersey, and they put on one of the best "tribute" shows you will EVER see. This is not just a band. It's a show band. They do tributes to The Beach Boys, The Beatles, Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Ricky Nelson, The Everly Brothers, Willie Nelson & Buddy Holly. Tickets are $15.00 each and WELL worth the money. More importantly, all the money raised goes to the Children's Miracle Network it stays HERE in our community. Tickets will be sold at the Bloom at Lee Shopping Center, Monday through Friday, 5 P.M. to 9 P.M. and Saturday & Sunday from 9 A.M. to 2 P.M. For more information, call 540 898-2324.

A couple of days ago, our ice machine stopped working. What a nice time of the year for that to happen. One-hundred degree temperatures and no ice. I called in a repairman, who came over today. The guy here was 10 minutes when he called me over and asked how long the machine had been off. I said, "Well, it hasn't been making ice for a couple of days." He said, "No, I mean how long has the machine been OFF?"

"Whadda ya mean?"

"There's nothing wrong with the machine. Somebody turned it off. That's why it's not making ice. I just checked it, re-checked and double-checked it. There's nothing wrong with the machine."

"Great!"

"Yeah, that's the good news. The bad news is I have the charge you $65.00 for the service call."

If you want to feel like a big dope, hand over $65.00 to a repairman because the reason the ice machine wasn't making ice is because either Rae or myself inadvertently turned the machine off. I begged the guy to tell me that he has had calls like this before, and he assured me he has had hundreds. Anyway, I'm trying to feel better about myself over this whole thing, so tomorrow morning, I'm going to ask you to call in with similar stories. If you've ever done something like this, call me tomorrow morning and tell me about it. We'll have some fun with this. My direct line into the studio is 540 710-1045.

Happy Birthday today to Andy Griggs.

He is 36 today.

We talked about this guy this morning. He is probably to date, the dumbest criminal we've featured so far. A woman in Severn, Maryland had her house burglarized. They pretty much wiped her out, even taking some major appliances. A few days later, her neighbor, who lives 3 house down, had a yard sale. She decide to stop in to see what he had to offer. IT WAS HER STOLEN PROPERTY!!!!!!!!!! She called police. They showed up and arrested the owner of the house holding the yard sale.

He is David Perticone. He is facing serious jail time.

I guess you have to give this guy some credit. Al Gore would be proud of him. He's trying to help the environment by robbing houses within walking distance. There's something to be said for that.

Fun In Dumfries, Middle-Age & No Twitter

2009-08-11T16:11:00.005-04:00

Another Flip-Flop Friday coming up this week. Tim's I in Dumfries is the location this time around. I'll be out there between the hours of 6 P.M. to 8 P.M. with one of your last chances to win those Kenny Chesney tickets. Hope to see you there!

Happy Birthday today to singer John Conlee. He's 63.

I never saw him in concert, but they say he used to chew tobacco onstage WHILE singing. I assume if you go to see him perform, you DON'T want to sit in the front row.

Also Happy birthday today to Hulk Hogan.

(Hulk is the one on the right)

Hulk is 56 today and said now that he's "middle-aged", he's working on making the transition from professional wrestling to acting.

Two things about that:

Number One: Professional wrestling and acting.............isn't that pretty much the same thing?

Number Two: How does this guy figure he's "middle-aged" at 56? What does he think? That's he's going to live to be 112? I have to laugh at these people in their fifties who say they're middle-aged. I don't know, maybe it's just MY circle of friends, but I don't know too many hundred year-old people walking around. To me, middle-age is 40, maybe 45, but after that, you're past it, pal.

I am so relieved today. Earlier Twitter announced that they are taking precautions to assure that there's never a rerun of last week's outage. For about an hour, last week, Twitter users were experiencing a denial of service. This, of course, was disastrous, because for about an hour, thousands were unable to let everybody know that they just put ketchup on their hamburger, they're washing their car, they're playing with their dog..............important things like this.

I signed up on Twitter weeks ago along with Kristin Nash and Tom Cooper, our General Manager. Why? I have no idea. Now that we're actually on , none of us know how to use it. Worse, I keep getting these e-mails: "So and so is following you on Twitter. So and so is following you on Twitter." Now, wherever I go, I'm constantly looking over my shoulder because I think some body's watching me.

In Again-Out Again Paula, Lorrie Morgan & A Replacement For Billy Mays

2009-08-06T18:33:00.006-04:00

I have mentioned on NUMEROUS occasions that I don't watch American Idol. I might be the only person on the planet who can say that. I know a lot of people love it and that's fine. It's just not my type of television. But even I can't avoid this Paula Abdul thing. Depending on what report you choose to believe, Abdul was getting paid $4 million per season, but she was demanding $10 million for the new, upcoming season. I guess she needs to make at least $10 million a year, what with the rising costs of presciption drugs and all. Earlier this week, she announced that she was definitely leaving Idol and would not be back for the next season. Upon making that announcement, shares in all the leading pharmaceutical companies fell sharply (alright, I made that last part up). Earlier today, word was flying around that the producers of Idol had already hired her replacement, Victoria Beckham. I guess the producers sat around and said, 'Let's see....who can we hire who is even dumber, less talented and more incoherent than Paula? I know. Victoria Beckham!! Perfect!But wait! Just before I sat now to write this, there's still another report out saying Abdul is NOT officially out yet, and that she is talking to the producers to see if a deal can still be struck. Now, I'm starting to wonder how much of this is real and how much of it is just schtick in order to hype the new season. The ratings of Idol have been dropping steadily over the last couple of years. If you're like me, I'm sure you're not going to lose any sleep over this.

Kristin Nash has been off this week, so I've been doing the Walk Down Music Row myself. Nash usually picks the stories we'll talk about, but this week, it was up to me. It gave a chance to report on one of my all-time favorites, Lorrie Morgan.

It turns out Lorrie is headed to Broadway. Producers are putting a stage version together of the 1992 film "Pure Country", which stared George Strait in the leading role. It'll be Joe Nichols handling the lead in the stage version and Lorrie will co-star. Good luck to both of them.

Finally, I was watching some news video yesterday. It was President OH-bama talking to a bunch of senior citizens in D.C., trying to sell them on his health care reform bill, that apparently nobody wants. He was basically telling them that his plan will give them everything they ever wanted in health care AND save them money at the same time. Watching it, it occurred to me that if this whole "president" thing doesn't work out for him, he would make the perfect replacement for Billy Mays.

Flip-Flop, J & J & A Mad Gorilla

2009-08-03T19:14:00.008-04:00

Thanks to those of you who came out to participate in Friday's Flip-Flop Friday at Water's edge in Woodbridge. We have another one coming up this Friday. I'll be at Pirate's Den in Fairview Beach this week with another chance for you to win those Kenny Chesney tickets.
We only have a few of these left. We're getting down to the wire, so join me this Friday.

Then, on Saturday, it's one of my favorite places to do a live, remote broadcast, J & J Tile & Marble. They've recently expanded and have added hardwood and vinyl, and just like with their tile and marble, a great selection, immediate delivery and prices lower than anywhere.

These guys have become good friends and they know how to have fun while conducting business, which is why we always have a lot of laughs when I go out there. Make plans to stop by and say HI, if for no other reason.

Over the weekend, Tresury Secretary Timothy Geithner said, "We have to bring these deficits down very dramatically. and that's going to require some very hard choices." When asked if that meant that President OH-bama is going to break his campaign promise not to raise taxes on people making under $200,000 a year, Geithner said, "We're going to have to do what's necessary."

I think the first thing they should do is crack down on all these tax cheats. You know, people like...........................................TIMOTHY GEITHNER!!! Here's a guy who failed to pay $34,000.00 in taxes between 2001 and 2004. He only did so AFTER he was caught.

Finally, a story out of Conway, South Carolina: A 21-year-old employee at Jimmy's Japanese Hibachi was throwing out the trash in the back of the restaurant, when he was punched in the head by a robber. What's really odd about all of this, is that the robber was dressed in a gorilla suit. The employee managed to wrestle the "gorilla" down to the ground, and then, broke free and ran back into the restaurant. THE GUY IN THE GORILLA SUIT FOLLOWED HIM IN!! Once inside, the employee grabbed a meat cleaver and hit the robber in the right arm. The mugger then ran out of the restaurant WITH THE CLEAVER STUCK IN HIS GORILLA SUIT. Meanwhile, other employees had called the police. The police arrived, but were unable to find the robber. So, lets get this straight. Here's a guy running out of a restaurant.............wearing a gorilla suit.............with a meat cleaver stuck in him.................AND THE POLICE CAN'T FIND HIM???????????? My thinking here is that he would not exactly blend in with everybody else on the street. So, somewhere out there, is an angry, wounded gorilla.

Has anybody checked the top of The Empire State Building?

The Walk For Animals, Pelosi & The Mystery Of Macaroni Salad

2009-07-29T17:02:00.011-04:00

The Fredericksburg Regional SPCA has announced that the 11th Annual Walk For The Animals is set to take place on Saturday, September 12 at Maury Field, at Kenmore & William Street, Downtown. All proceeds will benefit the completely independent facility that must raise 100% of their annual operating budget, and is the only No-Kill shelter serving the Fredericksburg community. Pledge forms are available at the SPCA front desk (10819 Courthouse Road) and at most veterinarian offices. Walkers are eligible for prizes. The top prize for the highest amount earned: $1,000.00!

Happy Birthday to the lovely Martina McBride!

She is 43 today.

Tony Sirico, probably best known for his role as Paulie Walnuts in the HBO series, The Sopranos is 67 today.

I guess it was back in the 70's, when a couple of kids became pretty well-known doing TV commercials. One was a really cute little kid named Rodney Allen Rippy. The other one was a rather hideous-looking kid named Mason Reese. For those of you who might not remember, here's a picture of Rodney Allen Rippy back then.
...and here's a picture of Mason Reese back then.The reason I bring all of this up is because today is Rodney Allen Rippy's birthday, and as you can see, at the age of 41, he grew up a very good-looking young man. ....on the other hand, Mason Reese is still hideous-looking.

Several new polls show Congress' approval rating sinking to around 30%, and Speaker Nancy Pelosi's approval rating about the same. Politico.com asked her if she minds being one of the most despised politicians in the country. She laughed and said, "No, I don't care.........I'm not particularly concerned if I'm liked."
If she is concerned, her face doesn't show it. In fact, her face never moves.

HEY, PELOSI!! EASE UP ON THE BOTOX, WILL YA?!!!!!!

I almost hesitate to get into the last thing because I'm sure there's an obvious, logical answer to my this question, and I'm missing it and will wind up looking like an idiot, but here goes............

You can go into any supermarket around town, Wegman's, Ukrop's. Giant. Bloom, it doesn't matter which one and buy ready-made macaroni salad, which they usually make themselves right on the premises. Let's say you go in and buy one pound of macaroni salad. You get this little plastic tub of macaroni salad that easily fits into your hand, and sure enough, it says it's a pound right on that little label they stick on to it. The other night, Rae decided to make macaroni salad at home (which she does very well). She had a one-pound box of elbow macaroni, but only made half the box. That's half of a pound of macaroni. Rae doesn't add any "unusual" ingredients in her macaroni salad, just the normal stuff, celery, green onion, diced tomatoes, etc. Cooking only half a pound of elbow macaroni, she always winds up with this big bowl of macaroni salad. It's at least 4 times the size of the little plastic tub they give you in the store when you buy ONE POUND of the stuff. How is it that when you buy a pound of the macaroni salad in the store, you get a little container, but when you make a half of pound at home, you wind up with this huge bowl? Can somebody out there explain this to me. Seriously, it's driving me nuts. What is it that I'm not getting about this? If you can explain this, call me in the studio in the morning at 540 710-1045, or if you don't feel comfortable calling a radio station, e-mail me at dennymore@thunder1045.com .

Post-Palooza, Quote Of The Week & More Chips

2009-07-27T18:47:00.005-04:00

Thanks to all of you who came out to AquaPalooza. Seven thousand of you did so, and helped to make it an incredibly successful event. I haven't seen so many people since the last time all my ex-wives got together.

Happy Birthday, and whatever happened to Bobbie Gentry, former Las Vegas showgirl-turned-country singer, and one-hit wonder (Ode To Billie Joe).
She is 65 today.

Our QUOTE OF THE WEEK comes from Brad Pitt, a good-looking guy, but apparently as dumb as a bag of hammers.

Over the weekend, the German magazine Bild asked him if he believed in God. Here's his reply:

"No, no, no! I'm probably 20% atheist, 80% agnostic and 10% believer."

This is definitely the greatest country on earth, and here's just another example as to why:

Because of the recession, snacks are getting bigger. Last year, because of ingredient costs soaring, chip bags, cereal, cookie boxes and ice cream cartons were shrinking. But this year, with heavy competition from cheaper store brands, snack packages are growing bigger.

Frito-Lay has made their bags of Doritos, Fritos and Cheetos 20% bigger with no increase in price in order to attract consumers. Snack Factory pretzel bags are now 25% larger, also for the same price as the previous size.

So think about this, we are probably the only nation in the world whose people will come out of a depression FATTER than they were when we went into it.

In the words of my comedian buddy Yakov Smirnoff, "What A country!"

Pre-Palooza, Shania & A Giant Wiener

2009-07-22T19:13:00.006-04:00

I'm going to be out doing my second Pre-Palooza party tomorrow from 3 to 7 P.M. at The Electric Palm, located at Prince William Marina in Occoquan. This is a beautiful place overlooking the river. If you've registered your boat for Aquapalooza, this would be your opportunity to stop to pick up your "Aquapalooza Goodies Bag". While you're there, pop over and say, "Hi" and shake hands. I'd love to meet you.

Fourteen years ago today, Shania Twain had her first #1 hit with "Any Man Of Mine" topping the Billboard country music chart.

Happy Birthday to Don Henley of Eagles fame. He's 62.

Fifteen years ago today, O.J. Simpson was in the news. He was in court being arraigned on 2 murder charges (against ex-wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman). Simpson pleaded "absolutely, 100% not guilty".

...........and he actually said it with a straight face.

There was a little accident last Friday morning with the famous Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. The driver tried to turn around in a residential driveway. She thought she was reverse, but unfortunately, she was in drive. When she stepped on the gas, she wound up ramming the giant wiener right into the house of the people who lived there.

It busted up the garage, the deck and cracked the foundation of the house. Workers had to extricate it. Nobody was injured, and Oscar Mayer says insurance should cover the damage.

Can you imagine filing this insurance claim?

"We need to file a damage report. Our house was rammed by a giant wiener".

Good luck with that one.

Finally, a few weeks ago I mentioned on the air that the world's oldest living human, a gentleman from Japan died at the age of 113. When he died, the title of oldest living human went to Henry Allingham of England, also 113.

When asked what kind of life he's led, he said it was a life full of "cigarettes, whiskey and wild, wild women". He also died last week at the age of 113, proving that it's true what they say.............cigarettes, whiskey and wild women will kill you.

PRE-PALOOZA , Cowboy Ron & Iron Head

2009-07-21T20:02:00.005-04:00

Do you work up North? Maybe you're heading home sometime between 3 P.M. and 7 P.M.? Make plans to stop by and join me for the Pre-Palooza at AT THE ELECTRIC PALM LOCATED AT THE PRINCE WILLIAM MARINA IN OCCOQUAN. I'll be out there with your chance to pick up your "goody" bag for AQUAPALOOZA (which, of course, is happening this Saturday). As is always the case with these live appearances, I look forward to seeing you.

On this day in 1989, the man who, in my opinion, was possibly the greatest President this country has ever seen, the great Ronald Reagan, was inducted into the Cowboy Hall Of Fame.

There's a lot of talk going around about Jessica Simpson since she's been dumped by Tony Romo. Some people are speculating that she might get back together with Nick Lachey.

My prediction: She could very well be getting back together with either one of these two guys. My guess is that they'll both be crawling back to her as soon as they start to miss that intellectual stimulation they got with Jessica.

Finally, the 13th Annual Redneck Games were held in Dublin, Georgia this past weekend. The events included the mud pit belly-flop, the armpit serenade (an armpit fart contest), a watermelon seed spitting contest, and my personal favorite, the "bobbing for pig's feet" contest. The proud winner of that competition was Eric "Ironhead" Outler, removing all of the pig's feet with his mouth in just 21 seconds. His parents must be proud.

All together now, let's do a Foxworthy...............YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF YOUR NICKNAME IS "IRONHEAD".

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